Summer Guest Series: My Healer’s Road with Addie Velasquez

My Healer’s Road 

One memory stands out more than any of the others when I think of a defining moment on my road as a healer. This moment is personal and it was when I was the one in need of the healing but had not yet chosen to accept it. And I wouldn’t have, were it not for the actions of my spirit team. 

It was a cold February night in front of a hospital but still far from its entrance. That day, after months of trying to quit drinking without medical intervention and dangerously tapering off after binges, I had made my appointment to a detox facility…and then been sent to the ER via an Uber to get medically cleared because I was not in good shape. Somehow the Uber couldn’t find the entrance to the ER and I then found myself wandering around the hospital parking lot, moving slowly with my cane and an overnight bag, tired, cold, in pain, delirious, and feeling completely alone.

And the moment came. 

The world stilled as I thought about my choices: keep trying to find the entrance and ask someone walking by for help or…just be done and walk out into the night, to the nearest bar and calling it my last night on earth. From being sent from one place to another and unable to even find the entrance to the ER?  Maybe it was a sign that I was done. 

I had successfully set my own life on fire at that point, no longer had a home, had distanced myself from loved ones, and my work was non-existent because of my downward spiral. What I owned could fit in a car and there had been a list created for what items went to who, and goodbye letters. 

There was no one to stop me. 

Healing Presence in the Stillness

But I wasn’t alone. 

In that moment of stillness I felt the presence of the gods, waiting. Gods that I honored for years and gods that I have only ever connected to in situations of major change, conflict, or death. I felt the presence of guides I had yet to formally meet and ancestors. It was a gathering that was unlike any other in my life. 

This wasn’t them coming to save me, to make or force a choice. This was them waiting and being witnesses to my personal crossroads moment, letting me know that I wouldn’t be alone regardless of what I chose. And there was a certain comfort that came with that, a reassurance at that acceptance. 

It was my rock bottom moment. To choose to live, to ask for and receive help would open up a new level of vulnerability (and pain) and breathe life into shattered hope (and a heart barely hanging on by a thread). 

It would mean taking a leap of faith and trusting the gods and trusting my guides and protectors, my spirit team, to meet me halfway. To have my back, to be my sword and shield.

And I did. And they did.

My Healing, My Choice

There is a certain level of groundedness that you feel once you make and follow through with a choice like that. A certainty in a relationship with your spirit team and the divine that wasn’t there before. As I physically recovered and began to put the pieces of my life together into a new one, willingly, what kept me moving forward no matter what was knowing that:

Healing was always my choice. 

I wasn’t alone. I was still cared for and supported by my spirit team and the divine, despite what and how long it took for me to choose my life, health, and an actual future. 

I would be met where I’m at in the present moment of my healing, my limitations and other aspects of my life would be acknowledged and respected. 

This made it possible for me to keep moving forward in my personal healing journey and influenced my approach as a healer for when others were at their own crossroads moments. 

We all have them, in fact we have multiple moments like this throughout our lifetime. They’re not necessarily always life or death like mine was (I ended up in the hospital for 8 days, had I not gone in when I did in my jaundiced state I wouldn’t still be here). 

Personal Healing Crossroads

But there are personal healing crossroads moments, moments when you know something is wrong and it has gotten to the point that the sticking your head in the sand routine isn’t going to work anymore. They’re moments when you will find yourself running into signs, through dreams, repeating symbols or images, songs, or even conversation brought up by people around you. Signs of what is wrong and signs of what will help. 

And if you find yourself in a healing session, whether private or in a group setting, in person or long distance, you’ll find yourself again at another crossroads afterwards. Do you continue forward with your healing journey? Do you take what you were given in that session, apply it and commit yourself to your continued healing? Even when it means making difficult choices, being vulnerable, and accepting that it will bring change that not everyone will accept and support? 

Will you work with and trust your spirit team, trusting that they have your back and will meet you where you’re at? 

Will you choose yourself?

Healing Happens In Your Own Time

As I’ve told people before, no one, especially your spirit team, expects you to change overnight, to go from 0 to 100 just because you made the choice to heal. Those questions won’t be answered  all at once and that’s okay. Your healing journey is YOURS after all, you’ll go at your own pace and rhythm and it WILL fluctuate depending on the season and what’s happening around you and to you. This is why I recommend being aware of those anniversaries, birthdays, deathdates, dates tied to painful or traumatic memories.Those are the times you may run into walls and need additional support within your healing journey, where the focus may move from working on something current to just getting through the triggering period.

And that’s okay. 

Everyone’s healing road is different although they will all have multiple crossroads. And for the healers, we have a crossroads moment that leads us to this specific path, that influences how we hold space and support our clients. 

My moment was in 2023. As I write this now, two years later, I am still grateful for it, my spirit team, the gods, and myself. I have a home, a blooming business, and a supportive community. The difference between my life back then and now is night and day. 

It is my hope to continue to honor my healing by supporting others during their crossroads moments and what comes after. 

It is also my hope that this small piece of Addie lore encourages you in your healing journeys, especially if you have been struggling. 

Thank you for reading.