Category: healing

6 Power Practices to Shift from Blah to Bliss

By Marcia Mariner, Guest Contributor

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

We ALL require access to divine sweetness in our lives to thrive. The sweetness or “sweet spot” that I am referring to is a profound feeling of soul nourishment, a constant connection to our innate worth, wisdom, power, and assurance of the infinite wealth that is always here for us.

That sweetness is mostly locked away deep within us. Many of us have had to harden our hearts to survive in a world that devalues the sacred feminine. Most women have been in a state of survival, operating from an outdated model that programmed us to excessively sacrifice our desires and well-being.

Unfortunately, this type of survival functioning results in women feeling frozen and disconnected from our hearts and therefore from the very nourishment required to fully actualize our potential.

Women, activated in our divine sweetness, are a powerful transmitter of this vital nutrient. We create a portal for miracles in us and in those around us. That is why it is essential that each awakening woman find her unique portals to access this sweet spot within. To discover and accomplish our destiny, having access to that inner sweet spot must be and must remain our number one priority.

Power Practice #1: Say YES to Love

Opening to love is a practice that you must choose to in every moment if you want to experience the fullness of divine sweetness is available for you. If you are lost in a trance of scarcity or unworthiness, or if you are not willing to say yes to love, then you will not experience the profound benefits constantly offered to you to live in your sweet spot.

brown steel letter b wall decor
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Power Practice #2: Find Your Unique Sweet Spot Portals & Savor Them

Each of us has unique sources that activate this divine sweetness. For example, many women love connecting with the Earth’s wisdom, beauty, power, and rhythms as a portal to their divine sweetness. Also, making room in your heart to nurture yourself and cultivating life-giving relationships and activities powerfully expands your access to this inner sweet spot.

Create time to discover inspired ways to sustain and expand access to your heart. Some women find that taking several three-minute breaks to be outside throughout their day can help them shift into their inner sweet spot. Others who are too depleted or who do not have sufficient skills to access their sweet spot will require more time and skills development to make and sustain that inner shift.

When you feel drained, it is important that you know how to quickly and powerfully source yourself and realign with that energy. In fact, the more you are serving and/or leading others in one form or another, the more vital it is to know how to renew yourself so that you show up from the best within yourself.

If your daily activities are not aligned with your sacred gifts, you will feel far away from that sweet spot. If this is the case, the misery you are feeling is a loving sign to wake up and get on your soul aligned path which will lead you to that sweet spot.

woman with white hair and black eyes
Photo by Merlin lightpainting on Pexels.com

Power Practice #3: Show Up Consciously and with Full Awareness in Order to Receive

Learn to seek out and savor the depth, breadth, and vastness of the sweetness. When you notice them, show up fully present and receive from them. Perhaps there is a divine message coming through. It is important to be attuned and available so that you are conscious of your unique portals when they are being revealed to you.

Consciously focus on using all of your senses to be in that higher energy. As you do, your energy will rise, and you will feel a vibrational shift occurring within you.

silhouette of woman standing near cliff
Photo by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com

Power Practice #4: Express gratitude for these portals

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude amplifies the sweetness that you can experience. Make this a habit as you go throughout your day. Even the subtle energies of sweetness that show up in our daily lives are powerfully expanded through a gratitude practice.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude amplifies the sweetness that you can experience.

marcia mariner, m.a. lmhc

Power Practice #5: Let Go of Resistance and Fully Embrace All of Your Emotions

It is not unusual when the heart opens to feel deep emotions coming up for clearing. The emotions that surface is natural and part of your organic unfolding. Awakening women are thawing out from centuries of collective trauma and neglect. Draw close to all of your emotions. If pain surfaces, welcome it with love. Let go of judgment and move towards your pain with the tenderness you would have for a young child.

Constantly source yourself from the beauty, joy and spiritual nourishment you are being given through your unique portals. This is especially important when you are experiencing a major loss or a time of transition. The healing of the heartbreak will naturally follow. By saying yes to what shows up and by trusting your process, you will emerge more fully in your radiant essence with each layer of past conditioning that has been shed.

collage of portraits of cheerful woman
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Power Practice #6: Find a Mentor and Join a Supportive Collective of Other Heart-centered Visionaries

This creates the optimal conditions to activate your sacred worth, discover your unique portals and anchor in your sweet spot. It provides a feeling of safety and connection, which naturally gifts you with a collective sweetness and opportunity to accelerate your full becoming. This personal support also helps you process challenging emotions and share your dreams in a supportive climate. This expands your heart’s power to give and receive love.

As your power to access your sweet spot develops, you discover what it feels like to fully thrive from the inside out. This inner assurance empowers you to love more freely and embrace the outer uncertainties of life with confidence and grace. The stabilizing support of this collective sweetness frees you to fully embody your authentic self and move in the direction of your dreams at lightning speed.


Marcia Mariner, M.A. LMHC

Marcia is a sacred feminine empowerment coach, certified hypnotherapist, and licensed counselor who specializes in empowering awakening women to break free from patriarchal conditioning, reclaim their feminine power and create lives they love. For over 25 years, Marcia has provided and continues to provide her clients with individual sessions, women’s empowerment circles, psycho-educational programs, and destination retreats. Marcia loves creating a safe space for women to connect on a heart-to-heart level so that they feel supported not just to heal, but to become who they are divinely encoded to be.

An exciting free gift from Marcia:
https://marciamariner.com/free-gift-2/

Want some more good reads about personal empowerment? Check these out: Take Your Power Back; #FridayFeels Empowered ; Transformational Positivity and the 4 Pillars


Open Letter to a Little Girl

Written by Sherry Van Antwerp, Guest Contributor

mother and daughter in the garden
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Pexels.com

To: The Little Girl That Just Wanted Love

From: Your Adult Self

Date: The Here and Now

RE: Exciting Status Update

Hello Little One,

I’m sorry I haven’t taken the time to write to you sooner. Honestly, I didn’t know exactly what to say because I’m still trying to figure out what is going on!

First, let me say that I’m sorry you had to endure so much at such a young age. At a time in your life when you should have felt care-free, you instead felt a tremendous burden.

That wasn’t right.

I know that you desperately wanted, and needed, love and attention. And for real, we all do!

You shouldn’t have had to struggle so hard to feel that.

Sometimes you decided that doing things absolutely perfectly was the way you got attention, and maybe just a smattering of love, but it didn’t fill you up.

You just learned that you had to excel at everything in order to even get noticed.

And that success was always fleeting because there was always the next goal, or project, that came along.

So you’d start all over again working so, so hard to get it right.

To get noticed.

To get a little acknowledgement and a few precious moments of feeling like you were worthy.

Sometimes you thought, well F*ck this all, and became a little Rebel. That defiant little self showed up when you were tired of fighting to be valued.

If no one cared, why should you?

But deep inside you felt a bit selfish, and that you were just a disappointment.

Again, not worthy.

I’m so very sorry that things weren’t different. But know that I have learned some lessons, and I’m working on making changes for us.

I want you to know that you are always loved and worthy now. We don’t need external validation, because honestly that’s just always going to be a game with someone else determining our worth.

But here’s the big news that I’ve learned for us!

It is OK to make taking care of ourselves a priority! WOW!

I know, I know… we thought that we always had to be excelling and preforming and being the “good” one.

Everyone and everything came before us, because that’s how we had always gotten acknowledgement!

We were the great employee that went above and beyond, the great mom doing alllll the things, the spouse that kept it all going (even though we often resented it).

Little One, I have figured out that isn’t how it works! Because I can’t be anyone’s rock if I’m crumbling.

So now I’m making us more of a priority. It doesn’t mean I’m shoving everything else aside, because well… reality! But I am making sure that I’m on the list.

Self-care doesn’t have to mean “me first” but it does mean “me too.”

I’m excited for the future and I want you to know that I value what you went through. You are amazing, just the way you are.

Love you and I mean it!

Little One, I have figured out that isn’t how it works! Because I can’t be anyone’s rock if I’m crumbling.

sherry van antwerp

Sherry VanAntwerp, also known as The GenX Whisperer, is an intuitive mindset coach and speaker. With 20+ years in corporate, raising two children and triumphing over traumatic losses, she now helps GenX women uncover and discover their passion and purpose to create more fulfilling lives. Sherry’s perspective on the craziness of life as a GenX woman drives her mission to help women follow through with their own life transformation because you can’t be anyone’s rock if you’re crumbling!

Follow Sherry on Instagram: @the_genx_whisperer

Want some more good reads about healing? Try these oldies but goodies: How I Became The Blessings Butterfly, Pt. 2: Redemption Story Positivity is My Superpower, Negativity is My Kryptonite #FridayFaves: Healing Your Trauma Through Meditation, Featuring Rachel John of Soul BEing

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Grounding yourself in what matters to you…

By Tracy Neely, Guest Contributor

There’s a spark inside of you and we all see it. Do you? Life has a way of sometimes masking our light underneath beliefs, thoughts, and life circumstances that keep us from feeling grounded in our desires.

We are just past the halfway point for 2021. What is life showing you right now? Is it in alignment with your desires?

As we experience life and everything that comes with that, I want to share a grounding practice with you that can activate your root energy center and stimulate a remembrance of what matters to you, so that in the moments when we may feel challenged, we can remember what’s important to us.

There have been many moments when I have felt lost or felt disconnected from myself. In those moments, the practice of grounding into my desires has supported me in feeling more rooted in myself and what matters to me. Our main energy channels direct energy up and down and all around our body. They affect our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual bodies. We have additional energy centers that exist in our hands, feet, below our physical body and above our physical body. For now we are going to focus on our root center, our first energy center.

Life has a way of sometimes masking our light underneath beliefs, thoughts, and life circumstances that keep us from feeling grounded in our desires.

tracy neely

Root Energy Center

Our root center (first energy center) is the energy center located at the base of our spine.

  • It is connected to how safe we feel.
  • It governs our sense of stability.
  • It takes into account our self-preservation.
  • It shows us how connected we are to our community.
  • It is tied to our basic instinct of survival.
  • It is the foundation upon which everything else is built.
  • It is deeply connected to the Earth and signals to us how grounded we feel in our body, in our emotions, in our mind.

The symbolism of this practice is represented by a tree with strong roots. Without strong roots, a tree will wither and die. With strong roots, a tree will flourish and nurture everything around it. Words are very powerful and create energy in our lives so I’m sharing a practice that can ground you back into your true self. With so much going on in the world, it’s easy to lose ourselves or forget what matters to us.

Grounding Practice

This grounding practice is very simple and powerful. I discovered this from a beautiful soul name Oracle Blue. I’ve adapted it so that it connects with your root energy center.

Think of five words that root you back into yourself. These five words remind you of who you are when the world wants to tell you something different.

Take some time to get still and breathe. Think about your five words and write them down.

These five words will direct you throughout everything you do personally and professionally.

I’ve included two illustrations. You can print out the first one and fill it out and refer back to it. The second illustration is my five words. They are the foundation of who I am even when I doubt myself. It’s a remembrance of what matters to
me.

Prompt

As you write down each word, bring your attention to the base of your spine and breathe in your five words, allowing them to ground into your root energy system. If you’re so inclined, I would love for you to share your five words with us by commenting on this blog post.

As we navigate the rest of this year and connect with what lights us up, come back to your five words and feel the energy of them so that you continue to feel grounded in what matters to you.

I’m sending you love as you connect with the deepest part of yourself and experience a remembrance of being grounded and rooted in your whole self.

Gratitude and Love, Tracy

Tracy Neely – Intuititive Healer, Certified Life Coach and Seer For Womxn Entrepreneurs
Mindset Alchemy®

[A lovely Black Womxn sits in front of a gray brick wall. She is wears her natural curls in a way that frames her face. She has a black v-neck blouse on and smiles at the camera.]

Tracy Neely is an Intuitive Healer, Certified Life Coach, Seer and Soul Priestess for coaches, healers, and visionary womxn entrepreneurs that are ready to elevate to the next level of their business and experience success doing what lights up their soul.  ⁣Tracy believes that transforming the way we work in our business is an inside job. ⁣Tracy believes that harmonizing and balancing our energy, activating our light and accessing our gifts will amplify the impact we desire to share with the world through the transformational work she does with her clients. Tracy works one-on-one with private clients in her Elevate Alchemy Private Coaching and Healing Program and through her Mindset Alchemy Sessions. Tracy utilizes ancient healing tools, techniques and practices to support and guide her clients through their inner-transformation so that they experience a powerful shift in their life and business.

Connect with Tracy: Website Facebook Instagram Email: info@tracyneely.com

Want to read more about energy healing practices? Try These from The Blessings Butterfly: A Story About Energy & Healing Mindset Shifts and Deep Healing Transformational Positivity and the 4 Pillars

Watch this interview between Tracy Neely and Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Transformation Starts With A Dream

Stuck, Frustrated, and Pissed Off

In my work as a transformational mindset coach, I spend a lot of time helping people to become living embodiments of Real, Radical, Transformational Positivity. It’s BIG work designed to help folx create positive change in their own lives first, so that they can experience the healing for themselves and extend it into their relationships. Think of it as a ripple of positive transformation that flows outward.

Whenever I begin work with a new client, they are often in a place where they feel stuck and very, very frustrated. They’ve been trying to move forward on an old goal and just don’t seem to be making any real progress. They’ve been spinning their wheels or going in the same circles and are just worn out from trying so hard, but yielding little if any results.

They’re PISSED OFF and bummed out, exhausted and ready to give up on their dreams.

They’re this close to quitting, but are open to giving it one more try.

If I can help them to make even one positive shift, however large or small, it is often just the nudge they needed to look at things differently and create the momentum they want. From there, it’s amazing how the missing pieces begin to fall into place.

It Starts With A Dream

One of the first things that we will typically do together is have a fresh look at their dream, their goal, or the idea that they’ve been holding onto. Sometimes, they’ve lost the plot and have made their vision try to be something that it was never meant to be; other times, maybe they’ve skipped past the big dream entirely or tried to make it too small, too tame.

I challenge them to dream again.

Let me encourage you to make a hot date with yourself this week for some serious daydreaming (don’t push it off to next week, please… trust me on this one).

Get Expansive. Dream BIG. Give yourself the time and space to get creative. Imagine something spectacular for yourself. Fantasize about a massive lottery win. Envision what solving one of the world’s greatest problems might look like.

Because the fact is there is NO good reason why you can’t enjoy some time thinking big, having a fantasy, or imagining a better world. This is the way that change happens: it starts with a dream for something bigger, something brighter, something better than the status quo.

You don’t have to have all of the answers. You don’t have to have it all planned out step by step. You don’t even have to know how to put it all into action (that bit comes later). All you need to do to get it started is to give yourself the chance, the space, and the permission to daydream.

white and pink flowers beside a canister
Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.

Lean Into Your Weird

giraffe leaning over fence to kiss blonde middle aged woman

What’s one of the weirdest things about you? What makes you unique, special, gifted? Since I started to embrace and lean into my weird and share about what makes me different, I have been able to use my gifts to help others and do work that I love, whether it’s intuitive readings or animal energy work or transformational coaching.

My Weird Ability With Animals

I am very fortunate to have been gifted with the supremely weird and highly magickal ability to communicate energetically with most animals. To do this, I first survey their body language if available, then connect with the animal’s energy field, and ask if they would like to talk with me or if they have something they wish to share. Think along the lines of a “whisperer” to get the idea. With most domestic animals and pets, I can pick up their thoughts, read their energy, and communicate with them fairly easily, even over a great distance. I always love when I am invited to share a pet’s message with his or her human. You can book an Animal Energy Session with me if you have questions for your beloved pet.

Friends who have traveled with me can vouch for the fact that I can even call some species in their own tongue- dolphins and wolves especially- and have them respond. There was the time in the Virgin Islands when we were in the bay at St. John’s, and I kept sensing dolphins nearby. Our captain said that dolphins aren’t normally in this particular area, but I felt them so I called nonetheless. Moments later, a mama dolphin and her calf appeared not 20 feet from our boat! Sorry, no pics for this one as it happened so quickly!

On a recent trip to Alaska, we visited a private wildlife rescue/sanctuary for animals that have been injured in the wild. They are given care and rehabilitated, but their injuries are such that they wouldn’t survive a reintroduction to the surrounding forests. One of the animal residents is a beautiful wolf. I was invited to call out to her and see if she would respond. I went deep into my bones and called up a howl that told her, “I see you, and I am here with you.” If you would like to watch the video of our call and response, you can do that here: Watch the Video

During this same visit, I was also invited to chat with the local mink, and I was absolutely delighted to be able to connect with moose, caribou, bobcat, wolverine, and a grizzly. Amazing time.

And, in one of the wildest and most dramatic displays of my weird gift ever, a couple of years ago in France I healed a bat who had been attacked by a cat. I would LOVE to tell you all about this encounter, but my story is currently under consideration for a publishing deal so I can’t share the details of the story just yet.

small grey striped cat outside on pebbles carrying a small black bat in her mouth
Lulu with little bat in her mouth. Thank you to Hilda for capturing this photo!

I actually injured myself with that healing session because I was physically unprepared for it, and the folx present around me didn’t intuitively know how to support me during the encounter energetically. I also didn’t trust myself enough to ask for what I needed. I don’t blame any of us for this, it was a weird as hell experience and quite unexpected.

My back went into painful seizure for the remainder of my trip. Thankfully, my two travel companions are both people who are incredibly tuned in energetically; they both offered me comfort and support by leaning into their own weird gifts. I did learn from it though, and should such a need for healing intervention arise again, I will know to ask those around me to hold sacred space- both for me, and the animal in need.

My Weird Ability With Energy & Spirit Guides

Another of my especially “weird” gifts is an ability to read energy and connect with different spirit guides. Ever since I was a child, I could sense things that weren’t always visible to those around me. I later learned that this ability is called clairvoyance, and though it’s something that not everyone readily believes in, I have no doubt about the truth that it is just part of who I am.

I kept this part of me hidden as best as I could out of necessity for many years. Still, other kids knew that I was one of the weird ones and would take every opportunity to remind me. Kids can be cruel in their unfiltered honesty. Try as I might to fit in, to blend, to “be normal” it was just never going to happen. My weirdness would always find a way to show itself.

Eventually, I gave up trying to hide it and just let people see only the weird that I felt comfortable sharing. It was fine (and fun!) to interpret my friends’ dreams for them. It was socially acceptable to turn my visions into poetry. Praying is just talking to a supernatural, unseen being- that I could do publicly without anyone batting an eye, even if the “god” I was talking to barely resembled the polarizing biblical character. How weird is it really that folx can be so up in arms against witchcraft, paganism, and honoring the dead- but are totally fine with taking the bible literally?

The rest of it, the card reading and the spellwork and the spirit channeling and the observance of the moon phases and the animal communications I practiced privately, quietly, discreetly. I would eventually learn that this spiritual exploration is not something to be fearful of, but is in fact an important part of Exploring [Your] Divinity. It’s one of the 4 Pillars of Transformational Positivity.

Wrapping Up In Weirdness

So, why do I share all of this weirdness and woo with you? Because for far too long, I kept much of it hidden out of fear. Very rarely did I let anyone in on just how deeply weird I am, and how much that weirdness delights me. I don’t want to waste any more of my precious time on this earth hiding the weird shit that makes me a certain kind of awesome. I am and have always been and will always be a magickal, witchy woman.

My abilities and practices are definitely too weird and out there for some people, and that’s okay because I’m not here to be everyone’s cup of tea. I am here in service to the Spiritual-But-Not-Religious, the Beautiful Weirdos, the Woo-Curious, the Unapologetically Unique among us. I see you, and I am here with you. Howl, Bitches!

middle aged blonde woman smiling

Check out the variety of Energy & Spirituality services I offer: View Services

Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.

The Third Pillar: Natural Harmony (Part 1- Connecting with Nature)

In my continuing exploration of the 4 Pillars of Transformational Positivity, we come to the 3rd Pillar- Natural Harmony.

Natural Harmony involves your relationship to the Natural World around you (earth, sky, animals, plants, elements etc.) and cultivating our connection to Nature.

Ask yourself: Where does your soul naturally feel most at home- at the beach, on a lake, hiking the mountains, walking in a forest, tending a flower or edible garden, or exploring the desert? What sorts of images from nature do you feel most drawn to? Do you love animals or feel any special connection to certain species? Does a starry sky on a clear night fill you with awe? Do you crave the feeling of your bare feet on soft grass, warm sand, or cool wet mud?

Transformational Positivity has taught me that I am not about being in The Hustle. I am not on this planet to constantly be grinding away at meaningless tasks of my own making (or anyone else’s). I’ve learned how to get everything done that I need to, with ease, and even a fair amount of joy, by tuning into the harmony of nature & managing my energy accordingly.

group of people standing on green grass field under blue sky
Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

When we distance ourselves more and more from the Natural World, we lose a deep and ancient connection to our very roots and the natural systems that sustain life. Creating more harmony between your being and the natural world might look like temporarily “unplugging” and escaping from your desk, your laptop, and your cellphone periodically for planned and/or spontaneous “Nature Breaks” in your nearest green space and reconnecting with the very real life happening around you.

While taking a week-long remote tropical island retreat might be on your dreamiest bucket list (just me?), creating more Natural Harmony in your life can be as simple as sitting outside quietly for as little as 5, 10, 15 minutes a day… or longer if you can manage it… and being mindful of how many different living things you encounter in that time. There is a natural, palpable stress relief that occurs in your body when you let yourself focus on the shapes of the clouds, or the scents on the wind, or the many different shades of green (or blue, or orange, for example) you observe in the plants and/or animals around you.

Some possible ideas to explore:

  • Stargazing, observing lunar cycles, sunbathing, living by seasonal rhythms
  • Studying planetary movements, astronomy, & astrology
  • Hiking, Tree hugging, Forest Bathing
  • Organic Gardening
  • Flower & Plant “worship” (observance & reverence of their pure beauty)
  • Natural/Herbal Medicine, Herbalism
  • Animal Connections (care, communication, conservation/advocacy), Vegetarianism/Veganism
  • Rocks & Crystals – energetic properties, vibrational healing
  • Studying the energy of Elements and how you relate to them: Earth, Air, Water, Fire

The patterns, variety, and perfect cycles found within the Natural world have been an endless source of awe, inspiration and rejuvenation since the dawn of time. Stay tuned for my next installment of this series where I begin to dig into some of the above mentioned practices and how I incorporate them into my life.

Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.

The Excavation

One of the lessons I am learning since my breast cancer diagnosis back in early March, and through my current chemotherapy treatments, is the value & necessity of deep introspection. It has been a time that has forced my overly active performance based perfectionist ass to SIT. DOWN. Rest. Face my Shit. Dive Deep, and then go deeper still, excavating layers and layers of hurt and suffering and fear, and offering those precious pains of the past on the altar of Love.

It’s in these spaces of intentional, ultra-focused awareness when I experience some of the treasures that I coveted & previously sought out in all the wrong ways; treasures like Peace, Calm, Contentment, Healing, Strength, Resilience, Love, and Joy.

A ball of soft grey yarn slowly being made into a baby blanket for my niece.

Such are the treasures that I had tried to find through partying, hookups, addictions, religions, escapism, numbing, avoidance, deflection, discipline, overworking, and high-vibe-only mindset bullshit. All of these were just more ways to punish myself for my perceived failures.

I am doing much less coaching these days in favor of offering my tarot-based Spiritual Clarity Readings, which is work that feels so much more nourishing to me instead of draining. I have made enough space in my practice to allow for serving fewer clients, in order to say Yes to my own need for physical and emotional healing. I have built extra time between clients so that I am serving within my capacity, not beyond it. Even this simple step is the result of some deep digging, and was arrived at by picking apart some residual bits of guilt/shame.

I know that I have come a long way and I celebrate this. I’m grateful for the healing that has taken place, for the goodness that has come forward. I know that the Love, Joy, Calm, Peace, Strength, Resilience, and Contentment that I feel now is beautiful, and that there is still more of it all to welcome in. So I will sit down, and meditate, and learn new things, and unearth more of me to be Loved. This is Healing. This is Transformational/Positivity.

Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.

Listen First: Then Release, Reflect, and Restore.

Listen: For the past week, I took part in a small social experiment on Instagram and Facebook called #amplifymelanatedvoices and it has been powerfully eye-opening. The premise was to center, promote, and amplify the messages of Black activists and artists while simultaneously putting our own messages on pause and truly listening to what they have to say. Without the need to draw attention back to ourselves, our opinions, our perspectives, our excuses, our discomfort. Just… listen. And then, lift up.

Because the truth is that Black people in America have been telling us the same message, over and over, in every way imaginable for hundreds of years and by and large, it seems pretty evident that we haven’t really been listening.

As a long-time, dyed-in-the-wool social justice warrior, I thought that I had been listening, but I am seeing more and more clearly just how much I was only half-listening, and sometimes actively avoiding listening- deeply, reverently, listening– to the larger conversation around racial inequity and white supremacist culture. How often I was missing the message.

I’m in no way an expert in any of this. I can, must, and will learn to listen better. This is deeply personal work, and I know that I need the help, guidance, and leadership of the people who have been doing this a lot longer than me. Maybe you are someone who has been working at being an anti-racist for a while now, and maybe you are someone who is just starting to see, understand, and unpack what all of this means. Wherever you are personally in your own journey, know that there are people who are skilled and ready and willing to support your growth. I’ve included some links to resources below:

Anti-Racism Resources

What White People Can Do For Racial Justice

The Adaway Group

4 Ways White People Can Process Their Emotions Without Hijacking the Conversation on Racial Justice

cheerful black woman recording voice on mic
Photo by George Milton on Pexels.com

What to do next:

RELEASE– Let it allllll out! Spend some quality time with your therapist, your besties, your support squad, your spiritual teachers, and talk about what you’re feeling/experiencing. Name all the feelings and fears that come up to the surface. Release your messy inside stuff. Cry hard and ugly. Shout loudly. Do this with the people who you can trust to be supportive, who can hold space for you without judgement or shaming- NOT with hateful internet trolls (I’ve learned this one the hard way). Release expectations from yourself to do things perfectly, to get it “right” the first time, to have all the answers. Release the need to be right. Release the need for other people to do their work. What else can you release? What else do you need to let go of?

REFLECT– After you’ve had a minute to let your mess out, take the time to process it. Reflect on what it means to you/for you, or if there is any deeper meaning to be found. Note: there isn’t always a gold nugget hiding in a turd; sometimes a turd is just a turd. Reflect on what you want to have happen next, and what some of the steps are that you will need to take to move forward.

RESTORE- Take. Good. Care. Of. Yourself.  Restore your whole self with lots of rest, body care, nutrition, art, laughter, music, and so much Love. Restore the relationships that are most important and nourishing to you (this is not the time to feed the drain). Pray and meditate. Build up your community.

I am a teacher and a healer, and I am also here to listen and learn. I look forward to sharing more tips, wisdom, and love with you in the weeks to come. Stay tuned, and stay strong. I am in this with you!

Work with me! Schedule a free consultation call: Reach out today and get on my calendar. >>Click here to schedule a free consultation call with me<< and let’s do some Transformational Positivity work together. I offer insightful Spiritual Clarity Readings using the tarot, powerful and subtle Energy Healing, deeply reflective Soul-Mirroring Sessions for you, and Animal Energy Sessions for your pet.

Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.

Transformational Positivity for Shitty Days

A 3-Step Energy Releasing Practice for Your Self-Care

We all experience ups and downs in our personal energy, and we all have moments when we are feeling anything but “high vibe” and positive. Congratulations on being a human! One of my very favorite things about Transformational Positivity is that you will never be shamed for being a human, having emotions, or expressing difficult feelings. You will never be told by me to just fake-it-til-you-make-it. I don’t do spiritual bypassing around here.

I will never teach you to ignore any of the challenging things that you are feeling, carrying, or stuck in. You don’t have to pretend that everything is perfect all of the time, or force yourself to smile and look at the bright side only. Instead, my offering for you today is a simple energy releasing practice to use whenever you are bogged down with hard, heavy feelings and need to make some damn sense of it all. Basically, it’s Transformational Positivity for Shitty Days.

This is a simple 3-step technique I use whenever I need to get unstuck from my wallow:

1• UNAPOLOGETIC FEELINGS DUMP. Set a timer for 3- 5 minutes. Write or Say out loud whatever things you are feeling right now. Don’t censor yourself. It’s powerful & important to acknowledge the so-called negative thoughts, fears and hard feelings in order to learn from them, move through them, & release them. Even if you don’t magically find all the answers right away, the simple action of acknowledging your very real emotions can be enough to move the needle from completely immobilized to okay, there’s maybe possibly some hope here. Also, it’s a good reminder that you are not a robot and are allowed to have a shitty day.

2• I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT. Set a timer for 3- 5 minutes. Move your body as you are able to (dance, stretch, shake it out, clap your hands, walk, climb your stairs, roll your chair around, whatever) It’s okay to make some noise! Bang on a drum, clang some pans, ring some bells. Sing, shout, whistle, laugh, cry, hum, yodel, whatever. Lift some weights, or punch some air. The motions created by your movement and the vibrations of the noise you make physically dispels stagnant energy.

3• BREATHE & BRUSH. Set a timer for 3- 5 minutes. Come back to your breath. Sit and take slow, deep, full breaths, noticing any areas of tension in your body (jaw, neck, shoulders, back, hips, etc). Send loving thoughts to the areas of your body that are carrying your hard feelings. Consciously relax tense areas. Massage or gently touch your temples, forehead, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, belly, hips, legs, feet. Use your hands to “brush” your aura, which is the energetic space just outside of your physical body. You can do this with empty hands, or while holding your favorite crystals, a feather, leaf, or flower.

the blessings butterfly, mantra, prayer

Have you tried this 3-step method? Drop a comment and let me know how it went for you.

To learn some more Transformational Positivity techniques, take my online course How to Cultivate Positivity with 4 Simple Tools.

Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.

The First Pillar: Whole-Self Love (Part 3- Loving the Body You Live In)

What would it look like for you to take your relationship with your body to the next level?

What if I told you that you could love the body that you live in, exactly as it is? YES- without losing/gaining weight, changing your hair, or altering your external image in any way. Imagine what it would feel like to stop being angry at it, disappointed in it, embarrassed by it, afraid of it, or ashamed of it.

I am not going to pretend that this is an easy, 2-step process or that I have a magic potion that will instantly take you from Loathe to Love. You won’t be hearing from me that you have go through some hard-ass Boot Camp to break yourself down first in order to build yourself back up. I am also not going to bullshit you with the claim that “all” you have to do is change your mindset (HELLO, changing your mindset is not like switching a light on or off!) We are much more complex than that and our stories require us to move forward with nuance and care. But I will tell you the truth that it absolutely IS possible and that you CAN learn to truly Love the body that you live in.

It’s also true that you will still experience some highs and some lows; you will still have moments when you slip back into old ways of thinking before you catch yourself and get your booty back on your positive path. I sure do, anyway, and I’ve been practicing Whole-Self Love for more than a decade! It is a life’s work that is well worth every ounce of energy that you put into it, every tear, every journal entry, every layer of pain/drama/lies/ peeled away.

Knowing that… Would you be willing to trade embarrassed for empowered?

Could you dare to swap disappointed in for devoted to?

Can you see the possibility for you and your body to have a positive relationship with each other?

Hallmarks of a Loving Relationship With Your Body

Any strong relationship will have some hallmarks that make it stand apart from more casual acquaintances. It’s no different for cultivating a loving connection with your body. Here are 5 key areas to consider:

  • Awareness & Clarity
  • Commitment
  • Communication
  • Support System
  • Fun!

Awareness & Clarity

Who do you think you are? Awareness & Clarity points to having an honest, true understanding of who you are, what your body is, and how the two of you are going to move through the rest of your life together. One of my favorite tools for this is what I call the Look Deeper Mirror Experiment. This means having the courage to really see yourself as a Divine, sovereign, intelligent being, and your body as both a unique entity and as the temporary housing and vehicle through which you are experiencing life as a Person. To do this, Strip down to your bare-naked self and face yourself in the mirror. Start with your eyes; look into them- really get in deep! You may be tempted to look away, but don’t. What do you feel? Nervous, scared, sad, surprised? Don’t pull away from the feelings, notice them, acknowledge them, follow them. They are clues to Who you are, Where you need healing, and What your body most wants from you. Next, notice everything that you like about your physical body. Send some love, appreciation and kind words from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. When/If you start going down that tired old path of self-criticism and the list of bits and parts you wish looked different, STOP. Remind yourself then and there that you are on a new path now, and that you are learning how to Love yourself. Your WHOLE self.

If you want to experience the positive transformation and deep healing that comes from a Whole-Self Love practice, I recommend having a loving conversation with yourself every day, and a kind word for yourself every time you see yourself in the mirror. At the very least, how about no more actively hating the person looking back at you? That’s a good place to start!

Commitment

Commitment is about making the choice to stay, stick with, and work at something. It’s having the quality of dedication, and it shows up in people who are trustworthy, loyal, honorable. Making a commitment to care for yourself and to love yourself, doesn’t mean that you are being narcissistic or selfish. Far from it. In fact, by committing to love yourself and the body that you live in helps to develop your autonomy and your ability to care for and love the people around you more authentically and with healthy boundaries.

Another favorite tool is writing a Love Letter to Your Body. If you’ve never tried this, you may be surprised by how powerful this can be! You can write it in any way that suits you, whether it’s a narrative or a list or a stream of consciousness or a sonnet. You don’t have be an eloquent writer and you don’t have to show it to anybody; it’s really just another way to reveal and encounter more of your truest self. For an example of one I wrote a while back, click here.

Developing a self-love practice takes some time. It takes some thoughtfulness and intention, and it takes a commitment. It takes some courage to break free from the negative scripts and internal dialogue, and to rebel against the culture of body shaming. But every bit of effort that you put into it is precious and creates a more positive relationship and connection to your true Self, which in turn leads to a more satisfying and happy life.

Communication

Having good communication is one of the most important components of any successful relationship, so now that you’ve taken steps towards Awareness, Clarity, and Commitment it stands to reason that having good Communication with your body is key to cultivating this positive relationship. Where are you at with this? How well do you pay attention to your body signals, and what do you do with them? For example:

  • FOOD– Do you eat when you’re hungry? Do you know which foods are most nourishing and supportive to your body, and which ones to avoid because they are causing you pain? Do you find food & eating in general to be tricky and triggering? This is a HUGE area of challenge for so many of us. Over the years I have worked with dieticians, nutritionists, health coaches, WW, etc and have had varying degrees of success. None of them have helped me to change my unhealthy relationship with food until I began Noom. For me, it was the exact kind of support that I had been missing. I have an affiliate link that will get you 20% off if when you sign up for their program: Click Here
  • SLEEP– Do you let yourself rest whenever you’re feeling tired? Do you give yourself enough sleep each day? When your head hits the pillow, does your brain fight with your exhausted body, or do you drift off into a blissful slumber? I have always been a vivid dreamer (good and bad) and since childhood have been able to remember them upon waking. For years, particularly after surviving some major traumatic events in my early 20’s I suffered from nightmares, night terrors, and insomnia. It wasn’t until I finally began to address the underlying stresses and traumas I was carrying (hello, therapy!) that I could return to giving my body good sleep on a regular basis. Now, whenever I have some unresolved issues that keep me up at night, I know how to handle them.
  • PAIN– How do you respond to pain in your body? Do you ignore it, numb it, push through it? Do you get mad at it, or get angry at your body? I recently shared through my Facebook group, Transformational Positivity, about a breakthrough regarding my response to injuring my back: “Whoooo am I working on this one for sure! I mysteriously injured my upper back yesterday morning and my first response was anything but loving. I was Mad! 😡 I was SO angry at it. 🤬 It actually shocked me how much rage I felt towards the pain in my body. So what did I do after the unhelpful yelling? • Slow, mindful, deep breaths • Concentrated on relaxing the seized muscle • Verrrrrrry gentle stretching • Let [my fiance] help me • Heating pad • Cold cloth • REST • Lots of water, juice • Advil • Recognize that being mad at my body was not a loving or helpful response to it being in need, but was instead abusive and a very old pattern that I am working to replace with kindness & support.”

These are just 3 of many areas where it’s valuable to be in good communication with your body. Essentially, what you want to do to cultivate better communication for a more loving relationship with the body you live in is to listen to your body and actively meet its needs. Understand that our bodies are designed to change throughout our entire life. Pay attention to when your body’s needs change, and adapt your care routine accordingly.

Support System

Having a strong Support System is vital to the health of your new, positive relationship with your body. After all, up until now you’ve likely been firmly ensconced within the destructive, oppressive body-shaming culture that is fueled by the diet industry, fashion industry, cosmetics industry, the social media & entertainment industries, pharmaceutical companies, Westernized religion and the patriarchal, puritanical system that rules it all. Having the audacity to radically love yourself is to effectively stick your middle fingers straight up at it all. That kind of courage requires that you have people in your corner who get it, who understand and can hold space for you to learn, process, and grow in your healthy, positive relationship to your Self and your body.

You need to have people in your life who support you as a person, people you can turn to when you need advice and guidance as well as when you want to celebrate. Ideally, you want to have people like this who you can connect with in person as well as through phone, text, email, or even public & private social media groups. I would love to be part of your support team, whether through my 1:1 Soul-Mirroring Sessions, Spiritual Clarity Readings, or as part of my free Facebook group. If you’re not already on my mailing list, join today and get a free gift as well as a Weekly Positivity Boost from me, straight to your inbox.

FUN!

The last area I want to look at is that special not-so-secret ingredient that makes successful relationships stand out above all the rest: FUN! It’s the same with your relationship with your body.

FUN can look like anything from adrenaline-pumping sports and high-energy physical activities to quiet meditative walks in Nature or relaxing on a sunny beach. It can be found through artistic expression, creativity, dance, making music, writing poetry or enjoying your favorite shows. FUN can be sexual intimacy with your partner or a private, solo exploration of what feels great and turns you on. FUN can be hanging out with a few good friends, playing with your kids or grandchildren, walking your dog or watching funny cat videos. This is obviously not an exhaustive list- the point is that FUN is something that every human desires and deserves to experience. Also, it’s good to note that what may sound like a great time for me might be either too wild or too tame for you, and that’s perfect. You do You, Boo.

You could go through your life being miserable and not having any fun whatsoever, but why do that when you have a world of opportunities to explore?

Like Before Love

If you’ve read all the way through and feel as though Self-Love is still a little too far away for you, but you are willing to try somethingstart with a Like List. A “Like List” is a list of all the things that you like about yourself. It should include as many positive attributes about yourself that you can possibly come up with in each of these 4 categories- physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The Like List is something that you can add to at any time, or make a new one anytime you want to.

If you find that you don’t know where to start, ask your best friends to help you. ONLY ask the people who you trust and who have proven themselves to be kind, not critical! You may be very pleasantly surprised at the good things that others can so easily see in you. With a little practice, you can begin to start seeing, appreciating, liking and even loving these qualities that all help to make you You.

Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.