Written by Sherry Van Antwerp, Guest Contributor
To: The Little Girl That Just Wanted Love
From: Your Adult Self
Date: The Here and Now
RE: Exciting Status Update
Hello Little One,
I’m sorry I haven’t taken the time to write to you sooner. Honestly, I didn’t know exactly what to say because I’m still trying to figure out what is going on!
First, let me say that I’m sorry you had to endure so much at such a young age. At a time in your life when you should have felt care-free, you instead felt a tremendous burden.
That wasn’t right.
I know that you desperately wanted, and needed, love and attention. And for real, we all do!
You shouldn’t have had to struggle so hard to feel that.
Sometimes you decided that doing things absolutely perfectly was the way you got attention, and maybe just a smattering of love, but it didn’t fill you up.
You just learned that you had to excel at everything in order to even get noticed.
And that success was always fleeting because there was always the next goal, or project, that came along.
So you’d start all over again working so, so hard to get it right.
To get noticed.
To get a little acknowledgement and a few precious moments of feeling like you were worthy.
Sometimes you thought, well F*ck this all, and became a little Rebel. That defiant little self showed up when you were tired of fighting to be valued.
If no one cared, why should you?
But deep inside you felt a bit selfish, and that you were just a disappointment.
Again, not worthy.
I’m so very sorry that things weren’t different. But know that I have learned some lessons, and I’m working on making changes for us.
I want you to know that you are always loved and worthy now. We don’t need external validation, because honestly that’s just always going to be a game with someone else determining our worth.
But here’s the big news that I’ve learned for us!
It is OK to make taking care of ourselves a priority! WOW!
I know, I know… we thought that we always had to be excelling and preforming and being the “good” one.
Everyone and everything came before us, because that’s how we had always gotten acknowledgement!
We were the great employee that went above and beyond, the great mom doing alllll the things, the spouse that kept it all going (even though we often resented it).
Little One, I have figured out that isn’t how it works! Because I can’t be anyone’s rock if I’m crumbling.
So now I’m making us more of a priority. It doesn’t mean I’m shoving everything else aside, because well… reality! But I am making sure that I’m on the list.
Self-care doesn’t have to mean “me first” but it does mean “me too.”
I’m excited for the future and I want you to know that I value what you went through. You are amazing, just the way you are.
Love you and I mean it!
Little One, I have figured out that isn’t how it works! Because I can’t be anyone’s rock if I’m crumbling.
sherry van antwerp
Sherry VanAntwerp, also known as The GenX Whisperer, is an intuitive mindset coach and speaker. With 20+ years in corporate, raising two children and triumphing over traumatic losses, she now helps GenX women uncover and discover their passion and purpose to create more fulfilling lives. Sherry’s perspective on the craziness of life as a GenX woman drives her mission to help women follow through with their own life transformation because you can’t be anyone’s rock if you’re crumbling!
Follow Sherry on Instagram: @the_genx_whisperer
Want some more good reads about healing? Try these oldies but goodies: How I Became The Blessings Butterfly, Pt. 2: Redemption Story Positivity is My Superpower, Negativity is My Kryptonite #FridayFaves: Healing Your Trauma Through Meditation, Featuring Rachel John of Soul BEing
All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.
You must be logged in to post a comment.