Category: inspiration

Retrograde Retrospective

Written By Montine Rummel, Guest Contributor

Oct. 13, 2021 

Can we please stop using retrogrades as a scapegoat for our discomfort and lack of preparation?  

As astrology has become more mainstream over the last few years, there has been growing panic surrounding retrogrades because it seems like it’s a fun thing for media companies to sensationalize for clicks and ad revenue (from my perspective, anyway). Looking at some of the language being used in the last few weeks we see “a reign of retrograde confusion” that’s “coming for your relationships” and so many “survival guides” to get one through.  

While astrological retrogrades have had a bad rap for centuries, and they can indeed shake things up, ultimately, we are the ones who are in the driver’s seat for this ride, and it doesn’t need to be a wild one.  

While astrological retrogrades have had a bad rap for centuries, and they can indeed shake things up, ultimately, we are the ones who are in the driver’s seat for this ride, and it doesn’t need to be a wild one.

montine rummel

What is a retrograde? 

A retrograde is when the apparent motion of a planet from the perspective of someone on Earth appears to slow down and even move backwards for a period of time before appearing to move forward again. Here are two of my favorite gifs that show what it would look like if we looked at the same spot in the sky over the course of a few weeks. 

Venus Retrograde

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b6/32/dd/b632dd33ada494ef64526e0b72519eac.gif

Mars Retrograde (this link goes to a video, not a gif)

https://external-preview.redd.it/W04sJNvzt9QzGptfE0ZiuH8lgRV_-QSpFl1CyyCpP4E.gif?format=mp4&s=cdc7a9c775a19dcfa21e1146f6c2193eed9bdf5

As you can see, the apparent motion of Venus and Mars seems to slow down and move backwards. 

Astrologically speaking, during this time when the planet appears to be slowing down or moving backwards, the energy of the planet also is said to slow down or be stalled. 

This movement was not lost on ancient astronomers and astrologers. Vettius Valens was a Hellenistic astrologer born in 120 AD who wrote “The Anthology” — the longest and most detailed treatise on astrology which has survived from that period (thank you, Wikipedia!).  

It is clear from some of his writing that even 2,000 years ago retrogrades were deemed unpleasant: 

“If the star is setting or proceeding with a retrograde motion, it will be harmful and hazardous.” Vettius Valens, The Anthology, Book III, translated by Mark T. Riley 

Vettius could totally write for Bustle.  

Changing our perception of retrogrades

Even if retrograde energy is here to fuck shit up, we don’t have to let them overtake us. We can accurately predict retrogrades, so much like a hurricane, we can prepare for what is coming. The challenge is that this requires a bit of self-awareness and forethought which is seemingly more of a luxury in this post-capitalist hellscape we call life. The demands of merely surviving in this world don’t often leave everyone with enough time to reflect on the ways we move through and react to it.  

Also, retrogrades can affect us in many ways. Most articles about retrogrades are only written based on how they might affect a Sun sign, which is about as much as general audiences know about their birth chart. But the placement of Mercury in one’s chart, as well as house placements come into play, as well. This article was written a couple years ago and does a great job describing the 3 ways to observe a retrograde based on the planets in your own chart. If you don’t have your birth chart, Café Astrology has a great one for free.  

If this starts to feel overwhelming, just keep in mind that these are just offerings of different perceptions to observe during a retrograde! Remember: a retrograde is only the perception from our viewpoint, it is not the only source of truth. If we were to view a Venus retrograde looking down on the solar system like in the gif above, we would see Venus continue in her orbit as usual; it would not look like she’s slowing down or moving backwards. So, what we can do for ourselves during these times is seek out new perspectives and ways of thinking about whatever energy the retrograde is supposed to represent. For example, if this Mercury retrograde in Libra was “coming for our relationships,” what perspectives would be best to learn and understand?  

Start each retrograde by being curious about at least one aspect and see what you notice! 

woman in gray tank top and black cap
Photo by Anthony Brown on Pexels.com

You could have told me this a few weeks ago… 

Both Jupiter and Mercury will go direct in the next few days, Saturn is already direct, so why mention saying any of this now? If I want to prepare, why not say something BEFORE it happens?  

I’m glad you asked! This is the perfect time to reflect on what exactly did come up for you. Make some time to journal about the following events and their aspects from this year. You don’t need to through every single one of these, of course. They are just some of the available perspectives to choose from! 

This Mercury retrograde in Libra, Sept. 27-Oct. 18, 2021 

man in black suit and black pants painting
Photo by Eva Elijas on Pexels.com
  • Think about anything regarding communication, such as how you communicate with others, methods of communication, and so on. Pay extra attention to anything related to your relationships. What went right? What went wrong?  
  • Think about travel and transportation and anything else related. 
  • Think about thinking, mental clarity, and types of thoughts you have been having, again paying extra attention to anything related to relationships.  
  • Think about any physical feelings or ailments that appeared in your brain, nervous and respiratory systems, and thyroid. 
  • If you have any planets in Libra, look up their aspects and home in on those. 
  • If you have any planets in your seventh house, look up those aspects and home in on those. 
  • Look at the sign Mercury is in on your chart and home in on those aspects, too. 

Jupiter Retrograde in Pisces, June 20-Oct. 18, 2021 

black and white stars during night time
Photo by Guy on Pexels.com
  • Think about anything regarding growth, healing, prosperity, and fortune that happened in these last few months, especially regarding your emotions, dreams, and creativity. 
  • Think about any physical feelings or ailments that appeared related to your liver, kidneys, ears, and tongue. 
  • If you have any planets in Pisces, look up their aspects and home in on those. 
  • If you have any planets in your twelfth house, look up those aspects. 
  • Look at the sign Jupiter is in on your chart and home in on those aspects, too. 

Saturn Retrograde in Aquarius, May 23-Oct. 10, 2021 

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Photo by Giorgi Iremadze on Pexels.com
  • Think about anything regarding your career, authority figures, stability, and achievements, especially regarding individuality, intellect, compassion, and justice. 
  • Think about any physical feelings or ailments that appeared related to your skin, hair, teeth, and bones. 
  • If you have any planets in Aquarius, look up their aspects and home in on those. 
  • If you have any planets in your eleventh house, look up those aspects. 
  • Look at the sign Saturn is in on your chart and home in on those aspects, too. 

The more you pay attention to the different aspects that exist, the more patterns will start to emerge, especially as you do it over time. Then you’ll be able to know exactly which areas of your life you need to pay closer attention to during retrogrades and other astrological events.  

Have you ever noticed that some people don’t seem phased by astrological events when others do? These people might be prepared and ready to roll with them, but they might also have aspects in their chart that don’t get shaken up as much at the time. Observing these events and paying attention to the different aspects of your chart can help you learn what you can roll with and what you need to be more prepared for! 

The upcoming Venus retrograde  

woman statuette during golden hour
Photo by Etienne Marais on Pexels.com

The next planet to go retrograde will be Venus Dec. 19, 2021-Jan. 1, 2022, in Capricorn and will be the perfect time to practice seeking these new perspectives. Here are some things to observe during this time: 

  • Anything regarding beauty, love, unification, and harmony, especially regarding the areas of work, stability, and responsibility. What might benefit from some extra care and attention? 
  • Anything regarding your reproductive system, lower back, throat, or circulatory system. Take extra care of yourself during this time if you have any conditions related to these areas. 
  • If you have any planets in Capricorn, look up their aspects and see what might benefit from some extra care and attention. 
  • If you have any planets in your tenth house, look up those aspects. 
  • Look at the sign Venus is in on your chart and home in on those aspects, too. 

Being aware of the energies and possibilities at play will help give ourselves more a sense of control as we navigate our days and help us learn even more about the way we work and what makes us tick. Knowing how different energies affect us will also allow us to prepare for ones that are heavier or take advantage of the ones that can propel us further than we’d be able to go on our own.  

If you enjoy exercises like this, check out my workbook for 2022! It will include prompts for each Full and New Moon to help you explore your psyche and get to know yourself better. You can find more at BookOfMyShadows.com

Check out a free sample from Book of My Shadows for 2022!


All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

About Montine:

Montine Rummel (she/they) is an astrologer and writer who likes to explore her own personal growth using these tools. She has been studying astrology since 1994 and began her personal growth journey in 2016 focusing on shadow work and emotional regulation. In 2017 she had the idea to create her own practice to explore her Shadow using the sign the new and full moons were in as a theme. After sharing the idea with some friends who told her that many more people would be interested in following along, Montine began writing Book of My Shadows and turned it into a yearly zine. She sometimes updates her blog, too!

Want some more good reads about connecting with cosmic energies? Check these out: The Third Pillar: Natural Harmony (Part 1- Connecting with Nature); Embody Your Archetype: The High Priestess; New Moon, New Beginnings

6 Power Practices to Shift from Blah to Bliss

By Marcia Mariner, Guest Contributor

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

We ALL require access to divine sweetness in our lives to thrive. The sweetness or “sweet spot” that I am referring to is a profound feeling of soul nourishment, a constant connection to our innate worth, wisdom, power, and assurance of the infinite wealth that is always here for us.

That sweetness is mostly locked away deep within us. Many of us have had to harden our hearts to survive in a world that devalues the sacred feminine. Most women have been in a state of survival, operating from an outdated model that programmed us to excessively sacrifice our desires and well-being.

Unfortunately, this type of survival functioning results in women feeling frozen and disconnected from our hearts and therefore from the very nourishment required to fully actualize our potential.

Women, activated in our divine sweetness, are a powerful transmitter of this vital nutrient. We create a portal for miracles in us and in those around us. That is why it is essential that each awakening woman find her unique portals to access this sweet spot within. To discover and accomplish our destiny, having access to that inner sweet spot must be and must remain our number one priority.

Power Practice #1: Say YES to Love

Opening to love is a practice that you must choose to in every moment if you want to experience the fullness of divine sweetness is available for you. If you are lost in a trance of scarcity or unworthiness, or if you are not willing to say yes to love, then you will not experience the profound benefits constantly offered to you to live in your sweet spot.

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Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Power Practice #2: Find Your Unique Sweet Spot Portals & Savor Them

Each of us has unique sources that activate this divine sweetness. For example, many women love connecting with the Earth’s wisdom, beauty, power, and rhythms as a portal to their divine sweetness. Also, making room in your heart to nurture yourself and cultivating life-giving relationships and activities powerfully expands your access to this inner sweet spot.

Create time to discover inspired ways to sustain and expand access to your heart. Some women find that taking several three-minute breaks to be outside throughout their day can help them shift into their inner sweet spot. Others who are too depleted or who do not have sufficient skills to access their sweet spot will require more time and skills development to make and sustain that inner shift.

When you feel drained, it is important that you know how to quickly and powerfully source yourself and realign with that energy. In fact, the more you are serving and/or leading others in one form or another, the more vital it is to know how to renew yourself so that you show up from the best within yourself.

If your daily activities are not aligned with your sacred gifts, you will feel far away from that sweet spot. If this is the case, the misery you are feeling is a loving sign to wake up and get on your soul aligned path which will lead you to that sweet spot.

woman with white hair and black eyes
Photo by Merlin lightpainting on Pexels.com

Power Practice #3: Show Up Consciously and with Full Awareness in Order to Receive

Learn to seek out and savor the depth, breadth, and vastness of the sweetness. When you notice them, show up fully present and receive from them. Perhaps there is a divine message coming through. It is important to be attuned and available so that you are conscious of your unique portals when they are being revealed to you.

Consciously focus on using all of your senses to be in that higher energy. As you do, your energy will rise, and you will feel a vibrational shift occurring within you.

silhouette of woman standing near cliff
Photo by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com

Power Practice #4: Express gratitude for these portals

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude amplifies the sweetness that you can experience. Make this a habit as you go throughout your day. Even the subtle energies of sweetness that show up in our daily lives are powerfully expanded through a gratitude practice.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude amplifies the sweetness that you can experience.

marcia mariner, m.a. lmhc

Power Practice #5: Let Go of Resistance and Fully Embrace All of Your Emotions

It is not unusual when the heart opens to feel deep emotions coming up for clearing. The emotions that surface is natural and part of your organic unfolding. Awakening women are thawing out from centuries of collective trauma and neglect. Draw close to all of your emotions. If pain surfaces, welcome it with love. Let go of judgment and move towards your pain with the tenderness you would have for a young child.

Constantly source yourself from the beauty, joy and spiritual nourishment you are being given through your unique portals. This is especially important when you are experiencing a major loss or a time of transition. The healing of the heartbreak will naturally follow. By saying yes to what shows up and by trusting your process, you will emerge more fully in your radiant essence with each layer of past conditioning that has been shed.

collage of portraits of cheerful woman
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Power Practice #6: Find a Mentor and Join a Supportive Collective of Other Heart-centered Visionaries

This creates the optimal conditions to activate your sacred worth, discover your unique portals and anchor in your sweet spot. It provides a feeling of safety and connection, which naturally gifts you with a collective sweetness and opportunity to accelerate your full becoming. This personal support also helps you process challenging emotions and share your dreams in a supportive climate. This expands your heart’s power to give and receive love.

As your power to access your sweet spot develops, you discover what it feels like to fully thrive from the inside out. This inner assurance empowers you to love more freely and embrace the outer uncertainties of life with confidence and grace. The stabilizing support of this collective sweetness frees you to fully embody your authentic self and move in the direction of your dreams at lightning speed.


Marcia Mariner, M.A. LMHC

Marcia is a sacred feminine empowerment coach, certified hypnotherapist, and licensed counselor who specializes in empowering awakening women to break free from patriarchal conditioning, reclaim their feminine power and create lives they love. For over 25 years, Marcia has provided and continues to provide her clients with individual sessions, women’s empowerment circles, psycho-educational programs, and destination retreats. Marcia loves creating a safe space for women to connect on a heart-to-heart level so that they feel supported not just to heal, but to become who they are divinely encoded to be.

An exciting free gift from Marcia:
https://marciamariner.com/free-gift-2/

Want some more good reads about personal empowerment? Check these out: Take Your Power Back; #FridayFeels Empowered ; Transformational Positivity and the 4 Pillars


Are You Brave Enough?

Written By Guest Contributor, Lisa Winston

Trigger Warning: This post contains mentions of serious disease, abuse, sexual violence.

My life has been hard. One challenge after another since I was very young. Then, one year after finally meeting the love of my life at the age of 59 and beginning a life-long dream of travel, international speaking, writing books and more, I got hit with an excruciatingly difficult personal health challenge, one that was totally unexpected. I collapsed with neuro-Lyme disease, a disease that rendered me unable to go out in public for almost a year. I became so panicked, I could have been institutionalized. My brain and eyes didn’t work. I couldn’t see clearly and my visual perception was way off. I felt like I was going blind and crazy. And that was just the beginning of the 25 severe symptoms I was about to experience. 2019 was the longest year of my life.

As I began to slowly heal, I was beyond anxious to be able to eat at restaurants, go to a movie, shop and travel. I pushed myself and flew to LA in January of 2020, for a movie premiere with my love, even though I didn’t look or feel very well. I got to briefly see my daughter who was driving from San Diego back to Oregon. It was a first step. It felt good.

I made plans. I looked forward to the future and I couldn’t wait to be well again.

And then, Covid hit. And it hit hard. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t see it coming. All of my intuitive capabilities didn’t give me a clue. No one else saw it coming either. Shock, fear, uncertainty and eventually depression hit. Now what? What if I or someone I love gets sick or dies? Will we have enough toilet paper? How will we make a living? Will life ever be the same?

For someone who teaches that life is happening FOR us and not TO us, two big crisis’ in one year was too much. In that moment, I was forced to choose between giving up what I teach and believe or using every tool I had in my toolkit. I didn’t like what I was experiencing but I had a deep knowing that what I teach is true, so I clung to it. That choice saved me and that’s why I’m sharing this with you today.

What do you do when LIFE challenges you?

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Photo by Olya Prutskova on Pexels.com

When life throws us curve balls, we have two choices. We get to jump into a deep state of fear, depression and negativity, or, we can choose to see things in a different light, a more positive light. You know the saying “what you focus on grows?” Well, it’s 100% true. We are energetic beings who always attract what we think, feel and vibrate. We attract our dominate vibration. And again, we always get to choose. We are not victims of fate, but deliberate creators with power.

One thing I know for sure, is that when I look back over my life and all of my challenges; abuse, r*pe, divorces, losing my home to wildfire, breast c*ncer and Lyme, I can absolutely SEE how Spirit (God, the Universe, the Divine) is woven through all of my “stories.” I can see how things were perfectly orchestrated just for me. I can find evidence of loved ones supporting me, unexpected people showing up; proof of everything I needed being provided in perfect timing and yes, even miracles.

So, we can all go to the “dark side,” but why would we want to? We all have a habit of expecting the worst. But what would happen if we expected the best? We can’t possibly see the entire picture; only the Divine can do that. So, what if we chose to amp up our faith, and trust that something bigger than us, some “thing” that loves us so much, actually has our back and wants us to experience good?

You Can’t Just Sit There

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Photo by Ithalu Dominguez on Pexels.com

Whether it’s Covid, a health challenge, relationship breakup, trouble with your kids or your job, you get to choose how you’ll show up. If you sit around mulling things over in your head, nothing will get better. And I guarantee, you will suffer. But, if you decide to jump in, say YES to whatever is happening for you, not only will things improve, but you will feel better. I live by this. It’s been my saving grace and my greatest strength.

Taking action is imperative, even if only baby steps at first. When you actively participate in asking questions, listening for answers and raising your vibrations, victimhood falls by the wayside. I’m not saying these things are easy at first, especially when you’re in a crisis, but you can absolutely work through your human moments and inch your way into using your superpowers. My bout with Lyme propelled me into the darkest night of the soul I ever experienced. I was sure I was dying and there were days I wanted to die. But there was a fire that burned inside of me that was greater. I found my way to it, and so can you.

Do Anything And Everything To Raise Your Vibes

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Photo by Alexandr Podvalny on Pexels.com

When I was ill, one day I just decided I was going to fight for my life. From that moment on, I did every, crazy thing I could think of to show the Universe I meant business. I did energy work all day long; I listened to Jason Mraz and danced around the apartment even though I couldn’t see! I put affirmations on sticky notes large and small and stuck them on windows, ceilings and walls. I videotaped my journey for teaching when I was well. I meditated and more.

So, when life hits you with things unexpected, try one or all of these things. I promise, if you’re determined enough and don’t give in to your old negative human habits, they will help.

1. Start an “evidence journal.” Just as I explained above, write down all of the things you remember about difficult times in your life when you absolutely saw the hand of the Divine working on your behalf. Look at these miracles often and be in gratitude.

2. Ask, “what is this here to teach me?” Then, stay out of your head and wait as long as it takes for an answer(s). Be patient. It will come.

3. Reframe your thinking. This is imperative. If you feel you’re powerless in your situation, ask yourself how this wonderful challenge has come to assist you in stepping into your power. If you feel that horrible things always happen to you, ask yourself how this situation is happening FOR you. Look for the evidence. Reclaim power over your “stinkin thinkin” and learn to see the good. Question your thoughts, self-talk and beliefs and soon, you will see that most of the things you tell yourself are just not true!

4. Visualize a happy outcome. I call this pre-paving your future. Once you get good at seeing yourself healthy, happy, in love, etc, then add emotion to it. Don’t just see yourself in these situations. FEEL the story as if you’re living it. This kind of energy creates.

5. Learn to be in gratitude for anything and everything. Gratitude is a high vibration. Even if you don’t feel grateful because your dominant vibration is fear, do it anyway. Create a list. As you commit to doing it more often, your vibrations will begin to rise.

6. Do something you love that’s high vibe. We are creators. When we don’t create, we stagnate. Sing. Dance. Paint. Take a walk.

And, above all else, love and be gentle with yourself. It’s all a part of the journey.

lisa winston

And, above all else, love and be gentle with yourself. It’s all part of the journey. The more you practice these skills during the difficult times, the more grit you acquire, the more you ignite your inner fire and the more confident you become, knowing all things are here to make you stronger. And, you get to help others through your experience!

So, are you brave enough?


Lisa Winston is a gifted vocalist, #1 international bestselling author of “Your Turning Point,” TV host, intuitive mindset strategist and inspirational speaker.  A life of extreme challenges, including losing her home to wildfire, breast cancer, and neuro-Lyme disease, made her hungry for a deeper connection to Source and determined to find her true calling.  Today, she shares the message that life is always happening for you and challenges are sent to refine, not define you.  Lisa has produced many influential global summits and is also featured on online summits, national radio, podcasts and trainings.  She co-hosts and produces The Mindset Reset TV Show, a weekly series which reaches millions, worldwide.  Lisa is so grateful to be mom to her beautiful daughter, Sarah, and to live, teach, and speak across the globe with her soulmate, life partner and love, Dr. Joe Vitale.

“Say YES to life and allow it to transform you at the deepest level.” – Lisa Winston
Lisa Winston Television Host, Producer, Best-Selling Author, The Unstoppable Resilience Coach and Speaker Cosmic Love, LLC(c) 858-705-2134 MindsetResetTV.com Inquiries: inquiries@mindsetresettv.com
Personal Website: www.LisaAWinston.com 
Personal Email: thebeautyofauthenticity@gmail.com

This article appeared originally on www.LisaAWinston.com and is reprinted here with the express permission of the writer. All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Open Letter to a Little Girl

Written by Sherry Van Antwerp, Guest Contributor

mother and daughter in the garden
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Pexels.com

To: The Little Girl That Just Wanted Love

From: Your Adult Self

Date: The Here and Now

RE: Exciting Status Update

Hello Little One,

I’m sorry I haven’t taken the time to write to you sooner. Honestly, I didn’t know exactly what to say because I’m still trying to figure out what is going on!

First, let me say that I’m sorry you had to endure so much at such a young age. At a time in your life when you should have felt care-free, you instead felt a tremendous burden.

That wasn’t right.

I know that you desperately wanted, and needed, love and attention. And for real, we all do!

You shouldn’t have had to struggle so hard to feel that.

Sometimes you decided that doing things absolutely perfectly was the way you got attention, and maybe just a smattering of love, but it didn’t fill you up.

You just learned that you had to excel at everything in order to even get noticed.

And that success was always fleeting because there was always the next goal, or project, that came along.

So you’d start all over again working so, so hard to get it right.

To get noticed.

To get a little acknowledgement and a few precious moments of feeling like you were worthy.

Sometimes you thought, well F*ck this all, and became a little Rebel. That defiant little self showed up when you were tired of fighting to be valued.

If no one cared, why should you?

But deep inside you felt a bit selfish, and that you were just a disappointment.

Again, not worthy.

I’m so very sorry that things weren’t different. But know that I have learned some lessons, and I’m working on making changes for us.

I want you to know that you are always loved and worthy now. We don’t need external validation, because honestly that’s just always going to be a game with someone else determining our worth.

But here’s the big news that I’ve learned for us!

It is OK to make taking care of ourselves a priority! WOW!

I know, I know… we thought that we always had to be excelling and preforming and being the “good” one.

Everyone and everything came before us, because that’s how we had always gotten acknowledgement!

We were the great employee that went above and beyond, the great mom doing alllll the things, the spouse that kept it all going (even though we often resented it).

Little One, I have figured out that isn’t how it works! Because I can’t be anyone’s rock if I’m crumbling.

So now I’m making us more of a priority. It doesn’t mean I’m shoving everything else aside, because well… reality! But I am making sure that I’m on the list.

Self-care doesn’t have to mean “me first” but it does mean “me too.”

I’m excited for the future and I want you to know that I value what you went through. You are amazing, just the way you are.

Love you and I mean it!

Little One, I have figured out that isn’t how it works! Because I can’t be anyone’s rock if I’m crumbling.

sherry van antwerp

Sherry VanAntwerp, also known as The GenX Whisperer, is an intuitive mindset coach and speaker. With 20+ years in corporate, raising two children and triumphing over traumatic losses, she now helps GenX women uncover and discover their passion and purpose to create more fulfilling lives. Sherry’s perspective on the craziness of life as a GenX woman drives her mission to help women follow through with their own life transformation because you can’t be anyone’s rock if you’re crumbling!

Follow Sherry on Instagram: @the_genx_whisperer

Want some more good reads about healing? Try these oldies but goodies: How I Became The Blessings Butterfly, Pt. 2: Redemption Story Positivity is My Superpower, Negativity is My Kryptonite #FridayFaves: Healing Your Trauma Through Meditation, Featuring Rachel John of Soul BEing

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Grounding yourself in what matters to you…

By Tracy Neely, Guest Contributor

There’s a spark inside of you and we all see it. Do you? Life has a way of sometimes masking our light underneath beliefs, thoughts, and life circumstances that keep us from feeling grounded in our desires.

We are just past the halfway point for 2021. What is life showing you right now? Is it in alignment with your desires?

As we experience life and everything that comes with that, I want to share a grounding practice with you that can activate your root energy center and stimulate a remembrance of what matters to you, so that in the moments when we may feel challenged, we can remember what’s important to us.

There have been many moments when I have felt lost or felt disconnected from myself. In those moments, the practice of grounding into my desires has supported me in feeling more rooted in myself and what matters to me. Our main energy channels direct energy up and down and all around our body. They affect our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual bodies. We have additional energy centers that exist in our hands, feet, below our physical body and above our physical body. For now we are going to focus on our root center, our first energy center.

Life has a way of sometimes masking our light underneath beliefs, thoughts, and life circumstances that keep us from feeling grounded in our desires.

tracy neely

Root Energy Center

Our root center (first energy center) is the energy center located at the base of our spine.

  • It is connected to how safe we feel.
  • It governs our sense of stability.
  • It takes into account our self-preservation.
  • It shows us how connected we are to our community.
  • It is tied to our basic instinct of survival.
  • It is the foundation upon which everything else is built.
  • It is deeply connected to the Earth and signals to us how grounded we feel in our body, in our emotions, in our mind.

The symbolism of this practice is represented by a tree with strong roots. Without strong roots, a tree will wither and die. With strong roots, a tree will flourish and nurture everything around it. Words are very powerful and create energy in our lives so I’m sharing a practice that can ground you back into your true self. With so much going on in the world, it’s easy to lose ourselves or forget what matters to us.

Grounding Practice

This grounding practice is very simple and powerful. I discovered this from a beautiful soul name Oracle Blue. I’ve adapted it so that it connects with your root energy center.

Think of five words that root you back into yourself. These five words remind you of who you are when the world wants to tell you something different.

Take some time to get still and breathe. Think about your five words and write them down.

These five words will direct you throughout everything you do personally and professionally.

I’ve included two illustrations. You can print out the first one and fill it out and refer back to it. The second illustration is my five words. They are the foundation of who I am even when I doubt myself. It’s a remembrance of what matters to
me.

Prompt

As you write down each word, bring your attention to the base of your spine and breathe in your five words, allowing them to ground into your root energy system. If you’re so inclined, I would love for you to share your five words with us by commenting on this blog post.

As we navigate the rest of this year and connect with what lights us up, come back to your five words and feel the energy of them so that you continue to feel grounded in what matters to you.

I’m sending you love as you connect with the deepest part of yourself and experience a remembrance of being grounded and rooted in your whole self.

Gratitude and Love, Tracy

Tracy Neely – Intuititive Healer, Certified Life Coach and Seer For Womxn Entrepreneurs
Mindset Alchemy®

[A lovely Black Womxn sits in front of a gray brick wall. She is wears her natural curls in a way that frames her face. She has a black v-neck blouse on and smiles at the camera.]

Tracy Neely is an Intuitive Healer, Certified Life Coach, Seer and Soul Priestess for coaches, healers, and visionary womxn entrepreneurs that are ready to elevate to the next level of their business and experience success doing what lights up their soul.  ⁣Tracy believes that transforming the way we work in our business is an inside job. ⁣Tracy believes that harmonizing and balancing our energy, activating our light and accessing our gifts will amplify the impact we desire to share with the world through the transformational work she does with her clients. Tracy works one-on-one with private clients in her Elevate Alchemy Private Coaching and Healing Program and through her Mindset Alchemy Sessions. Tracy utilizes ancient healing tools, techniques and practices to support and guide her clients through their inner-transformation so that they experience a powerful shift in their life and business.

Connect with Tracy: Website Facebook Instagram Email: info@tracyneely.com

Want to read more about energy healing practices? Try These from The Blessings Butterfly: A Story About Energy & Healing Mindset Shifts and Deep Healing Transformational Positivity and the 4 Pillars

Watch this interview between Tracy Neely and Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Embody Your Archetype: The High Priestess

Written by Guest Contributor, Kate Sheridan

“Archetypal energy carries a much higher charge than personal energy — the difference between a thunderbolt and a duckling’s quack.” – Marion Woodman

purple and brown colored planet
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The first time I felt the presence of The High Priestess, I was at a music festival with a group of friends. As we set up our tents and settled in, we showed off our costumes and festival gear. A friend pulled out a long robe, blue and black and white. The moment felt like a thunderbolt. “The High Priestess!” I said aloud, and just a few minutes later, a friend from another campsite tapped me on the shoulder, and I said it again. It was precisely the image a tarot reader had recently used to describe The High Priestess to me: “She’s that tap on your shoulder,” she’d said, “that comes when you least expect it.”

It wasn’t that the robe had simply reminded me of the card. Instead, the archetype had become manifest to me through the robe. Learning to sense the difference is precisely what The High Priestess represents: she appears in a reading to encourage us to tap into our intuition rather than our rational mind. She speaks to us in patterns of synchronicity, only accessible when our psychic channels are open. She invites us to experience a simple tap on the shoulder as a mysterious sign or symbol.

This period of time — Summer 2015 — was when I first felt my channel opening. I had recently had my first psychic experience while reading tarot for a friend, and all spring I’d grown increasingly unhappy with my life as a high school English teacher. Claircognizant information seemed to be coming in all the time, but I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. I was pulling The Moon card a lot: whatever my path was, it felt shrouded in fog. I remember standing in the moonlight that weekend and thinking, “I’d rather be a priestess,” but I didn’t know what that meant.

I had no idea at the time that The High Priestess was my life path card, according to the system put forth by beloved tarotist Mary K. Greer. (In fact, I had no idea who Mary K. Greer was!) I also had no idea that The High Priestess corresponds to the moon (not The Moon card but the moon in the sky, that one that has waxed and waned above us for time immemorial). I had no idea that each of the major arcana corresponds to an astrological planet or sign, and that we can use these correspondences to receive additional intuitive information when reading tarot for ourselves or others.

assorted tarot cards on table
Photo by Alina Vilchenko on Pexels.com

It took me a few more years to dig this deep into the tarot. After the robe and the tap on the shoulder, I spent another three years at my teaching job, and I ignored my intuition whenever it told me to quit.

But something changed when Halloween 2018 rolled around and I decided to dress up as — you guessed it! — The High Priestess.

I already had a long blue dress, and I went to Goodwill to buy a white robe and a sheer blue curtain to add more watery, flowing fabric to my look. I bought a sparkly crown at a party store and printed out an image for my crown of Hathor: a full moon flanked by two crescents, waxing and waning. I went to a Halloween party on October 27th, and a series of thunderbolt moments showed me that my romantic relationship had to end. I told my partner how I felt on November 6th, and by the 14th, I was moving out. (It’s still on my calendar — I scrolled back and looked!)

November 6th, 2018 was the day before the Scorpio New Moon, and by the next lunation, I was studying moon magic in my new apartment. I was coming home to myself. It turns out that Scorpio is in the 5th House of my natal chart, the house of creative self-expression. Nowadays, I set a New Moon intention each month based on which of my houses the moon is in. Plus, I’ve also learned about the so-called “gestational phases” of the moon, a concept that helps me see the long-game when it comes to my intentions.

According to this gestational framework, at each New Moon we plant a seed that begins to sprout nine months later, at the First Quarter Moon in the same sign. (In the case of my High Priestess path, I can trace these moon phases in Scorpio). Nine months after that, there will be a Full Moon in that sign, representing the fruition of the seed you planted eighteen months earlier. And finally, in another nine months is a Last Quarter Moon, when you undergo a process of harvesting and composting, until the chapter closes for good, three years after it began.

At the Scorpio New Moon in November 2018, I had just dressed up as the High Priestess and ended my relationship. At the First Quarter Moon in August 2019, I had just quit my job and moved back to my home state. By the Scorpio Full Moon in May 2020, the seed had fully blossomed and I’d embarked on a training program with a community called the Priestess Presence Temple. I was a priestess! And finally, by February 2021, I’d been holding my own temple circles for months and was gearing up to add more to the calendar.

It’s amazing what magic is available to us when we give ourselves permission to see the patterns underneath our everyday experiences

kate sheridan

It’s amazing what magic is available to us when we give ourselves permission to see the patterns underneath our everyday experiences. There is archetypal energy available just under the surface of life, and tools like tarot or astrology can help you sense the synchronicities and decipher their meaning.

If you’re interested in the gestational phases of the moon, you can consider our next New Moon, which will be on August 8th, in the sign of Leo. You can look for 16 degrees Leo in your natal chart to determine which area of your life will be most affected, which can help you set a clear, heart-centered intention. Whether we choose to create a special ritual or simply rest under the dark moon, a seed will be planted for each of us in the fertile soil of Leo — and who knows what might blossom over the coming months and years?

LEO GESTATIONAL CYCLE:

New Moon: August 8, 2021

First Quarter: May 8, 2022

Full Moon: February 5, 2023

Last Quarter: November 5, 2023

Kate Sheridan is a moon witch, tarot reader, and astrologer who calls herself The Laundress. Through her project The Spiral Temple, Kate holds sacred space to re-member the Goddess, reawaken the Divine Feminine, and reconnect with the cycles of the Moon and the Wheel of the Year. You can find her online at www.thelaundresstarot.com and on Instagram @themodernlaundress.

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Want to read more about witchy things? Try these articles from The Blessings Butterfly: Lean Into Your Weird Explore [Your] Divinity

Take Your Power Back

By Sarah Marie Liddle, Guest Contributor

woman in black angel costume. Your real power
Photo by murat esibatir on Pexels.com

Your power is not something you force externally, or obtain, it is not reliant on anything or anyone. While you can still surround yourself with things you derive happiness from, it is important to draw yourself home to your intangible inner world. Your worth and power should not be found in things, people or experiences. Do not sacrifice your real power in search of the powerless illusions of the ego. 

Where have you given your power over to someone or something outside of yourself?

The universe gives you specific circumstances and people to learn from, so if you find yourself in a space which you would rather not be in, stop right now and see how you created the space that you are in. Then ask yourself what thinking got me here? Placing blame in people and situations outside of yourself will only take you away from your true power. The reality is, God/Goddess/Source/Spirit gave you everything for a reason, so relax, and enjoy the journey, you have got this, you have the power. 

Have Faith

Everything is where it needs to be, including you. Choosing to release how you think it should go, and how you think people should behave, will ease you away from pain and grievances. If you release the illusions you hold, then the things outside of yourself will make space for the infinite power within yourself to emerge. If you are holding too tightly onto external things—people, positions, places, events, objects and outcomes—then there is no room for things to emerge inside of yourself.

Expand Into Your Real Power

Expanding your life starts by expanding your power. Real power does not just expand externally, it expands internally. Meet yourself in this moment, allow it to be what it is, without judgement, shame, embarrassment, hatred, or hurt. Just allow. This moment is said to be your life, when you lean into the moment you are leaning into your life and the lessons of it. 

You are reclaiming your soulful power and allocating a new meaning to your life by stepping away from the stories that keep you stuck. 

This is your life, your one true life, and you are now lifting yourself higher.

sarah marie liddle

No longer is the power outside of yourself, no longer do you need to know who will be where and when, no longer do you feel drawn to purchasing something to feel better. You have stepped into your one true power. The power of your being. In this loving space it is all easy. Let me repeat that again, it is all easy. It is spacious, and it is graceful. Now breathe deeply. This is your life, your one true life, and you are now lifting yourself higher.

Journal Prompts:

  • How have I prevented myself from stepping into my inward power?
  • What might I need to let go of to move forward?
  • How can I make space to tune into my inward power?
  • Who or what must I release to awaken the power that was within me all along?

[A lovely woman with fair skin and blonde hair stands in front of lush greenery. She wears a see-through black lace dress and looks with intensity into the camera.]

Sarah Marie Liddle is a Certified Professional Coach, and Certified Body Ecologist. Sarah has been a coach for fifteen years. She specialises in wellness, healing and soul growth. Sign up for Sarah’s weekly news/letter. Receive wellness tips, seasonal rituals, and nourishing ways to connect to yourself and others—completely free. Join the newsletter. To learn more about Sarah visit her website.

Want to read some more quick mini-articles about personal empowerment? Try these: A Moment of Truth The Best Idea Is To Let You Shine All The Way Through

Watch this video interview between Sarah Marie Liddle and Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

It’s messy & smelly & hairy, but it’s the only way through

By Kristin Nelson, Guest Contributor

Hi there, loves! I’m Kristin and in 2020 I created a business in Kansas City, Missouri called Unravel Your Life. I create & take opportunities that allow me to help people de-clutter their homes & minds, making more space for them to stretch out their arms & be themselves. I do Akashic Record & Tarot readings, and I’m learning Reiki & energy healing. It’s glorious & I’m grateful because my life is rad. I let the Universe guide me on what to do next. I listen, I move forward, one step at a time, with Spirit by my side, receiving messages for myself and for my clients. I feel connected & fulfilled for the first time in my life.

Sounds beautiful & fun & easy breezy, doesn’t it!? Like I just woke up one day and became a magical mystical spiritual goddess. Like I just stepped into energy work & oops, discovered I could hear messages from Spirit for myself and others. Teehee, the fairies made me do it!

NOPE. HARD NOPE. NOOOOOOPE.

It’s been hard af.

I didn’t step into this life, into energy work, gracefully & with poise. It wasn’t an angelic ascension or a miracle enlightenment. It wasn’t perfection incarnate. It wasn’t love & light & laughter. It was so. very. human. And spoiler alert…being a human is gross. And heartbreaking. And messy. And smelly. And imperfect. And hairy. And overwhelming. And it hurts. A lot.

But for me, it was the only way through.

young female astrologist predicting future with shining ball
Photo by Victoria Borodinova on Pexels.com

Shiny On The Outside

Because for decades, I had tried everything else. I was a rule follower & I listened to what society told me to do: “Stop crying. Study up. Climb the ladder. Buckle down. Hustle. Work hard. Keep moving. Buy more! Eat this. Lose weight. Improve yourself. Move on. Try harder.” Guess what? It didn’t work. I had a great career. I had a great life. I had everything they said would give me happiness. But I felt unfulfilled, burned out. And the world around me was still a mess.

Now don’t get me wrong, if you saw me, you’d never know that I wasn’t happy. On the outside, I usually looked shiny & excited, and I always looked put together & accomplished & productive. That’s the persona I built my entire life. I was independent & studious & a go-getter. But inside, I was scared a lot. I needed to control all the things to keep the anxiety at bay. I was always moving, always planning, always thinking ahead. Running so fast that time (life) would just fly by me. I kept my mind either racing with distractions or numbed out with alcohol. Never just still. Never just present. Never just fully here. I pushed down anything that was scary or sad or dark or unpleasant or uncomfortable to feel, and leaned hard into safety, security, comfort, control.

In some ways it felt like living a double life. Super fine & dandy on the outside. “All good here! Livin’ the dream! Keepin’ busy!” And then under the surface I often felt…broken. A mess. Like I needed fixing because I did all the things & still wasn’t happy. Still wasn’t satisfied with myself and my life. Still didn’t know what I wanted. Still didn’t feel like I had a purpose. I felt far away from myself & had no idea who I was or wanted to be.

And all that stuff I suppressed, pushed down, ignored, denied? It had nowhere to go. It stayed inside of me because I wouldn’t let it out. It bubbled & boiled & lingered. And so every so often, always in the dark, always in private, I would break down & shatter into a thousand pieces. All the darkness I ignored would spill out & through me, I couldn’t control it any longer. Panic, paralyzation, disorientation. In those moments when I let it all loose, I felt completely batshit crazy. Like I was nuts for feeling so ‘fine’ most of the time (life is good! I have all the things!) and then for being completely blindsided again and again by this deep, dark horrible realization that living as I was, with high functioning anxiety & indecision & fear & control, wasn’t really how I wanted to live.

It was like waking up for a brief moment after being asleep for a really long time. It was like glimpsing reality for a brief moment after living in denial for decades. It was like realizing that I had been floating along, letting the current of busy life just sweep me away, getting farther and farther and farther away from myself. It felt fucking awful. It felt like I was so broken inside, so unfixable, that maybe I should just stop tryin’.

This happened over and over throughout my life, when I least expected it, when I thought everything was good & under control. Until I reached a point in 2016, hyperventilating (again) on the floor of my closet, after 6 MONTHS of debilitating indecision & anxiety over an impending break up, where I just couldn’t do it anymore. This cycle of living in the land of make believe and crashing into reality, over and over. 30 years of curation. 30 years of seeking perfection. 30 years of trying to control everything. I was tired. I was done. I wouldn’t put myself through that again.

crop person hand in broken mirror
Photo by Bruno Pires on Pexels.com

Healing From The Inside

So in that moment, I made a vow to stop pretending. To start dealing with my shit instead of burying it inside of me. It was the only thing left I hadn’t tried. The only thing I had always been too scared to do. Facing myself. Turning inwards, instead of out there, to “find myself.” At the age of 31, I stopped pretending that I was “fine” & started wading through the muck of my life. Childhood experiences that made me build super strong armor around my heart & hide who I really was. Beliefs I had about life that were hurting me, not helping me. All the rules & the ‘shoulds’ I had accumulated over decades. For me personally, a big one was feeling all the things I never let myself feel when I was 13 and my mom died. At her funeral, I smiled & played with my cousins & was “totally fine, thanks bye!.” I never grieved. I never processed.

I unearthed everything within me that I had been pretending wasn’t there. I stepped into myself. And it was horrifying stuff. It’s dark in there, in the corners of yourself you’ve never dared to look. I got a therapist. I started digging & exploring within myself. Anything that came up, instead of suppressing it & running in the other direction, I faced it. Wrote about it. Talked about it. Shared about it. Read about it. Cried about it. Laughed about it. Raged about it. I let anything that needed to surface, surface. And I faced it. And it sucked.

But I also realized that it’s everything I came here to do. I’m here to LIVE, not float through life. I’m here to THRIVE, not settle for some mediocre existence. I’m here to be a messy human, not a perfect robot. I’m here to learn & grow & expand. And now I have enough room inside me to do that. Those things that I suppressed actually took up real estate inside of me. They blocked my life force from flowing. They kept ‘me’ hidden & small, when all I’ve ever really wanted is to be seen & valued & loved. They kept my mind spinning. For decades I hemorrhaged my personal power & energy trying to keep them quiet & hidden & secret.

…when the noise & clutter were gone, and I could hear myself clearly for the first damn time, I didn’t feel alone…

kristin nelson

“Finding myself” was not a process of adding new experiences, new skills, new jobs, new knowledge on top of myself. The accumulation actually made it even harder for me to see myself within all that junk. “Finding myself” was a process of removal. Digging deep. Exploring. Rooting around & removing all the junk that others had given to me. Expectations, shoulds, beliefs, stories, lies, inherited traumas from my family & ancestors….stuff that wasn’t really mine. And when I unraveled that mess inside myself, when I made space, all that was left was…me.

And what’s extra wild is that when the noise & clutter were gone, and I could hear myself clearly for the first damn time, I didn’t feel alone & small in a deep dark cave of nothingness. I felt…connected for the first time in my life to something bigger than me.

Where I used to spend so much of my energy curating and improving and perfecting myself, and caring what other people thought of me, and maintaining my image, now my power is free for me to use. The energy has always been there. The connection has always been there. The power has always been there. But I was always too busy racing through life to notice.

Maybe like me, you were told to leave your troubles behind & climb to the highest heights to find happiness. Those stairs lead nowhere. Trust me, I climbed pretty damn high. You are strong enough to feel all the things & to face all of you. Stop climbing. Turn around. And start stepping down into yourself. It will be gross, and heartbreaking, and messy, and smelly, and imperfect, and hairy, and overwhelming, and hard af, and it will hurt. A lot. But for me, it was the only way through.


[A lovely fair-skinned young woman against a dark background. She wears a dark tank top and holds a light, shimmering fabric behind her neck. Her brown hair is pulled back from her face. She looks upwards and smiles.]

Kristin Nelson (she/hers) lives in Kansas City, Missouri but keeps little pieces of her heart all over the world in the places she’s lived & loved. In 2019, burnt out by a 12-year fundraising career, she quit to fulfill a dream of leading biking tours in Europe with Backroads. That terrifying leap of faith changed everything, and in 2020 she started working for herself & created Unravel Your Life, LLC. A highly sensitive person (HSP) herself, Kristin understands overwhelm all too well & helps people move through clutter & the daunting home organization projects they dread. She also receives messages for clients from Spirit via the Akashic Records & Tarot, which makes her magic-seeking inner child insanely happy. In her Aquarian, Projector heart of hearts, Kristin really wants to use her privilege & power as a white, cisgendered woman to dismantle the racist & sexist systems running our world & to create a new paradigm of leadership that makes everyone feel like they are truly seen, “gotten”, and treasured.

Connect with Kristin: Facebook Instagram or Email at hello@unravelyourlife.com

Want to read more articles about reckoning with healing? Try these: A Story About Energy & Healing Thoughts on Healing In the Aftermath

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Without Condition

Written by Tina Falk, Guest Contributor

{watercolor painting with the words Dream, Certainty, Soar, Forgive, Success drawn in different colors of hand lettering. There is a multi-colored border of watercolors surround the words.]
Original artwork by Tina Falk

There’s a remarkable woman I know. A little bit on a personal level, but on a heart and soul level—I see her and she is pretty fxcking cool. I’ve witnessed her strength, and grace, and ability to consider others even during challenging personal moments. She’s someone I look to to remind me that we are far deeper and greater than our circumstances and that we can embody so much at one time. We can be fearful and hopeful, we can be grieving while dreaming, or even centered on self while being of service to others. 

I was incredibly honored, but a bit taken aback when this strong woman, Michelle Lewis, private-messaged me asking if I would write about how I show up to life with love, courage, respect, compassion and peace for MY SELF. So I got curious and started asking myself how I show up to life as a strong woman who embodies these high-vibe traits. ‘Cause man, does Michelle do it well!

Here’s what I know . . . I show up best to life through self-assessment.

tina falk

Here’s what I know… I show up best to life through self-assessment. It’s only when I know ME in the moment that I can make the necessary adjustments. And sometimes those are bold changes towards setting clear boundaries and loving myself. I learned 25 years ago, from one of my master teachers, that checking in with myself first was solid good practice for how to address any challenges whether situational or relationship wise. We are co-creators. We’re all in this together and if I don’t check in with myself to see what my role in “this” is, then I am missing the mark. Let me share a bold decision I made a few years ago that propelled me to the life I live now.

I was 50 (for those of you who know western astrology this is during a Chiron return and mine is in my first house—childhood wounds and trauma). It was Thanksgiving day. I shared a story with someone about my unhealthy, one-sided, and confusing relationship with my father. The person I was sharing this with was shocked, as they had known me my whole life. “Tina, I had no idea,” they replied with concern. Then they shared one thought that changed everything. 

“I wonder if he (my father) has Narcissistic Personality Disorder?” My whole life flashed before my eyes—like a video replay. And I heard myself say, “No wonder he doesn’t love me. It’s not my fault.” My eyes filled with tears, my heart pounded and I was devastated. AND I felt an indescribable sense of freedom.

I had spent my entire life wondering what I had to do to be seen and loved by this man. And now on the heels of this new aha! moment was a deep dive into understanding this disorder and what I was going to do about it. After weeks of research and consulting professionals, I had made one of the most challenging decisions of my life—to go NO CONTACT. 

Well, it’s been 5 years and it’s like he didn’t even notice. My own father hasn’t reached out to me nor his grandchildren. He moved on to his next source. MY GAWD! what a relief to come to this realization, that my own birth father, someone who was supposed to protect me and love me without condition, dropped the ball because of who HE is……NOT who I am. 

It was devastating because I knew no matter what I did things would never change. I doubted my decision for a while, grieved for a couple years, and to this day still think about him. Sometimes with anger, but mostly with gratitude for my awareness and the decision I made to protect myself and my family. Aside from not having to anxiously navigate that messed up relationship anymore, I needed to find purpose and meaning in it. Like Why? Why would I have picked him to be my father? Why would I have agreed to this? 

[blue sea under blue sky. a castle sits atop an island in the distance.]
Photo by Riccardo Bertolo on Pexels.com

What am I here to learn?

I was working with a Body and Emotion Code therapist, a couple years after my no contact decision, who sweetly yet firmly responded to my questions. She said, “You are here, as Tina, to learn unconditional love. In fact, you are getting your PhD in Unconditional Love. God wouldn’t put you in a family that knew how to love unconditionally. You wouldn’t learn that way, right?” Crap. Made total sense. 

This was a very empowering time for me. I felt rebellious and free!!! — to discover who I am rather than who I thought I had to be in the eyes of others. It was in the stars, right? Thanks Chiron. The timing was divine and each day moving forward I gained a greater sense of compassion (not pity) for myself. I have created a life of peace. A life that is at my pace, in my time, with my boundaries, plenty of rest and quiet, and bringing in moments of ceremony—like lighting a candle, reciting mantras, breathing, journaling, nature walks, and fire burning. I love to connect with others through my passion of Chinese metaphysics and astrology. And, I pay forward the gifts I’ve been given by teaching, as well as donating energy to charitable organizations that assist children who feel alone, hungry and scared.

Check in with Yourself

I’m still checking in with myself. It’s a habit now, it’s just how I do things. Not everyone has that skill—my father sure didn’t. Once I realized my role in enabling this nonsense and toxicity to continue, it was an easy call. I did what I did because I love and respect myself. The consequences of that decision have blessed me. I’m aware of the lifetime of trauma that came from this relationship. I’m more aware of what my wounds are and what stress responses I have because of them. I am learning to take all that love, respect, and compassion I have offered others and direct it upon myself by creating a life that is intentional, meaningful and peaceful. 

It’s never too late to love yourself. Check in. Ask questions. What are you co-creating? Is it serving your highest well being? How are you going to love yourself today? 

Tina Falk BFA, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, Chinese Astrologer & Metaphysician

A lovely fair-skinned woman stands outdoors. She is clothed in a white v-neck shirt and a dark cardigan with geometric print details layered over it. Her hair is very long and warm brown. She smiles peacefully at the camera.]

About Tina:

I am Tina Falk, a Chinese Metaphysician and Astrologer. I’ve been practicing this way of life since 2005. My goal is to provide a professional and intuitive perspective to enhance your awareness and appreciation of Self and Space. My role is to bring you into a place of being in gratitude, creating conscious intentions, taking action and believing in your own power. This will propel you into a more meaningful and purposeful life. I am a classically trained feng shui practitioner who also incorporates Landform and BTB principles. And to me, the most exciting aspect is integration of your 4 Pillar Chinese astrology charts. My approach allows me to personalize your whole feng shui experience! I can make recommendations that are specific to you, and each member of your family or business team. Everyone deserves that personal attention. Overall, I am here to support — sometimes with a firm stance, but always with love and empathy — and to inspire a new way in which you see the world and your place in it. Feng shui has enriched my life by revealing everything from the insanely obvious to the subtlest of energy in our surroundings. We are sensitive beings and when we can connect and create a sacred relationship with ourselves, our space and others…damn, life gets exciting and motivating! Feng Shui has been a true gift to me . . . and my family. I intend for it to be the same for you. 

Connect with Tina: VIA Feng Shui Instagram

Want to read more articles on Self-Love and Acceptance? Try These: Self-Care for Self Love Transformational Positivity and the 4 Pillars

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Big Intentions

BIG JUNE INTENTIONS: I am planning to be away from the digital life for most of this month so I can be totally present while away on my Honeymoon. I am Choosing Presence.


For the month of June, it is my intention to stay in-the-moment and also to dramatically reduce the amount of time I spend on social media… quite the challenge for someone whose business is almost exclusively online!

I am not abandoning my work, instead what I am doing is putting it back in it’s proper place. I’ve noticed that my screen time has become quite lopsided and I’m not okay with that.

silhouette of a person on a swing
Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on Pexels.com

To be honest, it gives me an anxious feeling to share this Big Intention. It feels very familiar- much like when I first quit smoking, or when I quit drugs, or when I learned how to not get shit-faced drunk everyday, or when I stopped disconnecting from my body especially during sex, or when I learned how to have a mutually loving & healthy relationship with food instead of using it as another tool to abuse myself… basically the way it felt for me to face, understand, and release myself from my addictions.

You know, the real-life baggage of someone who’s been through some shit.

But here’s the thing: Big Intentions can lead us to Big Transformations.

Sure, there are maybe a million tiny actions and next-steps that take place between the declaration of the Big Intention and the realization of the Big Transformation. It’s not like one just flips a switch and POOF! Metamorphosis. There may even be millions of micro-movements before the Big Intention is stated. But there IS something absolutely magickal in that moment when you decide that Yes, actually, I am ready to make a change.

But here’s the thing: Big Intentions can lead us to Big Transformations.

michelle lewis – the blessings butterfly

The moment of the Big Intention is the moment when Hope and Faith and Belief and Wishes and Dreams and Desire all intersect, and you find yourself choosing to leap from the place of stagnant self-doubt into the realm of possibility. It’s the moment between shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. It’s the moment when your “I can’t!” becomes “I think I can!”

And before anyone gets it twisted, there’s NO SHAME in getting professional help. Remember, you’re still the one doing the work even when you’ve got a coach, therapist, or specialist guiding & supporting you.

Maybe your own Big Intention is something that challenges you, inspires you, or even maybe scares you- it’s okay. Gather up your courage, call in your support squad, and take that next right step forward. As soon as you decide that you’re ready to make that change, whatever it may be- your own Big Transformation is waiting on the other side of it.

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Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Companion Guide Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.