Category: self help

2022 Year of the Deep Water Tiger

Guest Post by Tina Falk, CFSP, Founder of VIA School of Feng Shui

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Are you feeling a shift in this new year? Some transitions are subtle while others are a surge of energy. To me, I already feel a powerful surge. My favorite method to interpret energy is through a 4,000-year-old astrology system; the Chinese five elements and zodiac signs. I am a Chinese Astrologer and Metaphysician. I use these insights and intuitive nudges to assist my clients and students from all around the world.

Aside from exploring their own 4 Pillar Chinese astrology chart; most of my clients are eager to know about the energy of the new year and how it may influence their lives based on their particular chart. Even if you’ve not yet had a 4 Pillar chart reading, there is still a lot to gain by understanding the incoming energy of this year.

So let’s dive in and see what 2022, the year of the Deep Water Tiger might present.

The world we are creating…our lives, our homes, our communities, and planet, is a reflection of the health or dis-ease we are owning. Are you on default mode or creation mode?

This year will be about choice. Stepping into, and understanding the power of, your will to choose. What you decide is your choice. The choices we’re being faced with, at this critical time in our human evolution, are between the old and the new.

If you choose, in any given moment, to fall back into habit, or what someone else wants, out of fear or out of stubbornness, then that is a counter clockwise turn directing you back into old ways.

However if you choose potential, creation, uncertainty, and future, then you are spinning the dial forward into a new world. Yep, that new world many of us came here to be a part of.

The main traits of the Deep Water Tiger energy are intense, extreme, and powerful. Below is my interpretation of these energies to assist you in the navigation of your Dark Water Tiger journey:


The response of fear or optimism relates to Deep Water energy. Think of being at sea during a storm without any means to anchor or get your feet on the ground. We don’t do well making decisions that will serve us long term when we come from a place of fear. Fear is valuable and can bring about quick reactions to get us out of harm’s way, but we don’t thrive living in that reactive state for long. For long-term survival, we need to turn our attention towards the next forward step.

When we have something to look forward to, or take time to see challenging moments or relationships as a valuable lesson or opportunity for growth, we begin to feel encouraged, hopeful, and stronger. Optimism is an innate drive in humans. Having a desire for better or more is what keeps us alive. Assess your connection with the external world and be sure you are allowing space for other optimistic influences and people to be a part of your everyday life.


The emotions of anger and serenity are indicative of the Tiger. Tiger, the beginning of Spring, is a Wood Chinese element. Wood is associated with the liver and limbs, birth families, unexpected change, strength, growth, maturity, new beginnings, and anger. What emotions are you choosing to express, sit in, live in, and project onto others?

Anger can be the impetus for change. That’s a good thing. But we can’t live in anger—instead we use that energy to make things different. Keep in mind, and heart, that the world around you, is also being influenced by these energies. You may choose to remain angry, but are you able to stand in the center of the storm without snapping or being swayed by the noise? Can you create serenity within?

An inner place I often tap into for serenity, is a trusting that there is a greater purpose to this thing called life. That even though right now—I may not like what I’m experiencing or foresee the outcome—I trust there is a reason for it to be happening. My husband and I have always had a saying through uncertain times (we’ll be celebrating our 34th Anniversary this year, so many opportunities to use it), “Things always work out.” This comforts our souls and allows us to move forward.


If you know someone with a Tiger in their Chinese astrology chart, you know there is no sitting on the fence for them. They are either all in or all out. This year, the Tiger is teaching us the importance of our choices.

Whatever you decide—you can’t get it wrong. You can pick an old way, and continue down that path for the rest of your life or choose the new. There’s no right or wrong. We are each here for various reasons and there is no one “true” path for everyone. But there is a “true” path for YOU.

The state of humanity is deeply divided, and the energy of 2022 indicates that this division will become deeper and more expansive. So what does this mean? Are we supposed to pick sides? Fight against those who disagree with us? Or appreciate the contrast? Abraham-Hicks speaks frequently of the value of contrast.

We need to see and experience things we don’t want, so we can get clear on what it is we do want in our lives. That’s all. There is no right or wrong, good or bad. It’s just an energy presenting itself that you get to make a decision about. And those decisions realign us on our purposeful and meaningful path.


Tiger is often seen as the symbol of power, authority, prestige, royalty, and war. The Tiger knows exactly what side of the fence it is standing on. And will then put every part of its fierce attention, and being, towards that intention. He has his eye on the prize and will stay laser focused to see it through.

The war has already begun. It is in each of us. Our greatest battles are fought within, but we often turn our anger towards others thus becoming at war with the world.

One of the simplest, yet most profound, quotes of this new-age era came from Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Gandhi embodied internal peace. No matter the chaos, disagreements, fear, or destruction happening around him, he stood strong without being swayed from his convictions. What steps can we take to create stillness, rest, a pause, a breath, gratitude, and peace in our own lives to bring more peace to our world?

This is the year to turn inward. To tune out the noise and the blame, and work on our own inner peace. Tuning into, and tending to, our Selves is a profound choice that will anchor and support other decisions we’ll make this year.

The Tiger is fierce. He is focused. And hungry. What are you hungry for?

The decisions you make this year will set the trajectory of your future self. Just get off the fence and keep moving. And remember that everyone around you, those next door, on the news and the other side of the planet, are all being influenced by these energies, too. There’s no time for judgment. Be patient and empathetic.

The Tiger is a keen observer. It’s our duty to witness the events that unfold before us, then turn inward—to our innate intuitive compass—to guide us along our path.

Are you curious how the 4 Chinese zodiac animals in your chart get along with the Tiger? Reach out to schedule your personal 4 Pillar Chinese Astrology Reading.

I am Tina Falk, a Chinese Metaphysician and Astrologer. I’ve been practicing this way of life since 2005. My goal is to provide a professional and intuitive perspective to enhance your awareness and appreciation of Self and Space. My role is to bring you into a place of being in gratitude, creating conscious intentions, taking action and believing in your own power. This will propel you into a more meaningful and purposeful life. I am a classically trained feng shui practitioner who also incorporates Landform and BTB principles. And to me, the most exciting aspect is integration of your 4 Pillar Chinese astrology charts. My approach allows me to personalize your whole feng shui experience! I can make recommendations that are specific to you, and each member of your family or business team. Everyone deserves that personal attention. Overall, I am here to support — sometimes with a firm stance, but always with love and empathy — and to inspire a new way in which you see the world and your place in it. Feng shui has enriched my life by revealing everything from the insanely obvious to the subtlest of energy in our surroundings. We are sensitive beings and when we can connect and create a sacred relationship with ourselves, our space and others…damn, life gets exciting and motivating! Feng Shui has been a true gift to me . . . and my family. I intend for it to be the same for you.

Connect with Tina: VIA Feng Shui Instagram

Why Are These Crystals So Magickal?

Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly

Think that crystals are *just* pretty rocks? Think again!

The love of crystals is not just for witches, yogis, geologists and spiritual gurus. Since the beginning of Time, humans have had an ongoing fascination with shiny & colorful rocks. Yes, they are pretty- but they are so much more than that. Today, I want to share a few of the many wonderful, dare I say magickal, properties associated with 3 of the most popular gemstones: Amethyst, Clear Quartz, and Rose Quartz.

If you’re just starting out in your energy practice, these 3 crystals make excellent tools that you can begin working with right away.

For a solid metaphysical reference, I like “The Book of Stones: Who They Are and What They Teach” by Robert Simmons, Naisha Ahsian, and Hazel Raven.

Ready to dive in to some of Earth’s magickal treasures? Let’s Go!


a close up photo of amethyst crystal
Photo by Jason Deines on

Amethyst is simply beautiful and develops various shades of purple as it grows. Ranging from delicate lavender to deep violet, this variety of quartz gets its gorgeous color from small amounts of irradiated iron, or other impurities that change the color of this otherwise clear mineral. For me, I meditate with amethyst whenever I am preparing to work with a client for an energy reading. I find it helps me to connect spiritually with the client and their guides while still maintaining an energetic barrier of protection for myself as the channel.

  • Magickal Correspondences: Divine connection, spiritual protection, purification, releasing addictions.

Shop Amethyst items at The Blessings Butterfly Gift Shop! 108 Bead Amethyst Prayer Mala Peace Candle w/Amethyst

Clear Quartz

close up photo of clear crystals
Photo by Castorly Stock on

Clear Quartz is a favorite of mine because it serves so many purposes in my magick practice. Whether I’m using a long point to focus energy on something specific, or pairing it with another stone to amplify that crystal’s properties, I don’t think you can ever go wrong with clear quartz as an all-purpose energy tool. And, if you’re not into the witchy stuff, it’s still just a really pretty rock to decorate your bookshelf or desk.

  • Magickal Correspondences: Programmable, amplifies intention, magnifies ambient energies, clearing, cleansing, memory enhancement, awareness, focus & clarity.

Shop Clear Quartz items at The Blessings Butterfly Gift Shop! Positivity Crystal Candle

Rose Quartz

photo of rose quartz
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

Ah, Rose Quartz, the stone of Ultimate Love! This is in my opinion a perfect stone for anyone who is ready to welcome more Love into their life: Love for the Self, Love for one another, Love for all beings that make up our magnificent universe. It is simply not possible to have too much Love, but it’s evident that a lack of Love causes tremendous suffering. For me, Rose Quartz has been a pivotal crystal in my own healing journey to Whole-Self Love.

  • Magickal Correspondences: Love, gentleness, emotional healing, release of stress, Divine Unity.

Shop Rose Quartz items at The Blessings Butterfly Gift Shop! Rose Quartz Rough Stone (pocket sized) Sage Bundle for Love + Friendship

Now, you tell me: Which crystals are your favorites? Are you interested in learning about the magickal qualities of any other stones?

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Photo by RODNAE Productions on
Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly

A Journey of Sexual Healing

By Stacy Walker, Guest Contributor

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

anonymous woman with rainbow light on face
Photo by Wings Of Freedom on

It’s been just over five years, five years since I’ve had any intimacy. No sex, no kissing and no cuddles.

This wasn’t initially my decision, and at first for a long while, I’ll be honest it felt like a slow torturous death for me. Because in many ways it was. Most of the suffering starting out was because it wasn’t my choice. But I was the one that actually initiated it, without realizing at first.

I am a very physical woman, touch is my life force recharge. I love to have sex, and wanted it often, like at least every few days often, if not more. After my first divorce I refrained for a while, but once I reopened myself to it, the flood gates opened. They opened to a dangerous proportion.

I wasn’t reckless with situations, but I did quickly align myself with someone else who used sex as a distraction and addiction. The two of us getting together on weekends was a blur of sweat and showers. Often times topping off at twenty plus rounds in a weekend. It was quickly going from unleashing my sexual goddess and experiencing the best orgasms of my life, to numbing out and not being able to get enough.

Looking back on this and the one eighty turn I did after a few months of this indulgence, is an obvious intervention of the Divine.

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Going Deep

It was during my birthday dinner with a long table of my new friends, that I got the ping. The notification that would launch my Soul into a long and tumultuous journey. It was my next ex husband messaging me via And my universe instantly shifted. So much so that within the first week of communication with this new man, I abruptly ended it with my recent sex companion. Cold stop. Which is now ironic, because as it turns out, that would be the last occasion for me to actually have a more functional sex life, as dysfunctional as it was. That was nearly ten years ago.

After a few weeks of corresponding with my now recent ex husband, we decided to meet in person. I was immediately enthralled with him. And when we said goodbye and he kissed me at my car, there in the late afternoon sun, the earth and my world shifted. For the first time in my life since I was a little girl, I was acutely aware of the dramatic change in the air and atmosphere around me, and within me. I knew in that instant that my life was about to radically change, and it did.

I was enraptured with this man, so much that I didn’t even notice at first that he wasn’t reciprocating any sexual body language. That he was actually just going through the motions and leaned heavily on his ability to dazzle me with his words and kissing. I was in it for the long haul, it was a spell, a spell as it turns out that my Soul had orchestrated. And that the energy shift I felt when he first kissed me was our Souls reigniting a long standing contract, one that now needed completion, and was necessary to launch me into a long initiation into the dark night of my own Soul. So that I could be the anchored and authentic Soul Guide I am now.

Sex was complicated from the start, he was always scrambling to avoid it, and I was always desperately wanting it, with him. Because I was so wildly attracted to him like I have never been with a man before, yet he kept me at an arms length. At first it was all about excuses and philosophies about wanting it to be different this time, and needing to still heal from ex’s cheating on him, etc. All the while talking about and flaunting his sexual experiences with others, and still showing obvious signs of being a womanizer. So many red flags, one after another after another. It was quickly becoming a mine field of red that no one could navigate. Yet I stayed.

It was like I had no choice, for the first time in my life I was going head first into something that made no sense, all I could do was feel. Feel the potential and feel the activation I felt in my entire body even just thinking of him. Which of course was just a new addiction. But also more, because my Soul actually was inviting me to see this through and to initiate my spiritual awakening. We did occasionally have sex, and with my level of attraction and addiction for all things him, I didn’t even notice how dysfunctional and lacking it really was. I was so far gone that the slightest crumb of affection and touch was all I needed, while pining and obsessing the entire time in between occasions, as to when I would get more. He was literally starving me sexually, which led to his ability to control me. This was his Souls ‘in’, in this contract playing out between us.

By the time his behavior shifted from this repeating cycle between just us to taking his toxic behavior outside of our relationship and using other women to hurt me, I was too far gone.

calm young woman looking at camera through broken window
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Coming to the Surface

The story that played out between us is an entire novel, a novel of Souls, shadows, victimhood, and eroticized wounds. We eventually married, which is when the sex dried up even more, from once or twice per month, to once every two months. But I was content suddenly, because he was finally ‘mine’ and he was content in knowing he ‘had’ me. So I relaxed into this new rhythm for a while, until just a few weeks before our one year anniversary when I took a trip to the beach with friends.

There on the beach at sunrise one morning I asked my friend to help me pray for healing between my husband and I, and for our sexual healing. This is the moment that I initiated the ending of my sex life (for now), and my journey into celibacy, without even realizing it. Because what we are praying for often shows up differently than we think it should, than we initially want it to. That what we are actually praying for is at the core of what we are wanting help with, but not at the surface level frustration of it, but at the root cause and ultimate healing of it.

As it turns out the last time my husband and I had sex before my trip, would be the last time we had sex. On that beach, I had an additional silent prayer, a shift within me, that I never wanted to have to fight for or beg my husband to have sex with me again. What I thought I was asking for was his healing, his emotional capacity to open, and for me to finally have the intimacy with him I so desperately craved. But ‘our’ sexual healing would not be the healing between us and our ability to come together in better harmony. It was to be a separate healing journey, one that would take us both by surprise, and yet not surprise.

It was to be a separate healing journey, one that would take us both by surprise, and yet not surprise

stacy walker

A few months had passed after that prayer, and I was beginning to suffer the death of my sex life, this is not what I wanted, this is not what I asked for, and this wasn’t fair. I tortured myself with what might have gone wrong, what did I say or do wrong. I became resentful and sure I was secretly being punished somehow. I even secretly resented my friend at first, because I thought maybe she did something wrong in the prayer. I had after all just only recently started praying again after giving it up most of my life due to religious trauma, and I had counted on her to guide me, which was just more victim coming to the surface for me to heal.

I spent the next year suffering, I spent it angry and confused. All the while my husband felt more relaxed and calmer than I had ever seen him. But I never begged or tried to seduce him into being with me. I decided to follow his cue to truly heal this and to feel less dysfunctional with our sexuality. As dysfunctional as it was for newlyweds to not have a sexual relationship between them, it was less dysfunctional than our previous way of dealing with it through arguing. So I allowed it space, and in this space I found clarity. Clarity not only between us, but in myself and the reawakening into my psychic gifts. Gifts that I had closed off since I was a little girl, out of self preservation and safety. Safety from other people, not from the spirits that were constantly around me. And through this psychic reawakening, I also experienced my spiritual awakening.

Two years had passed and I was deep into my own personal healing and Soul journey. And things between us relaxed and even became sweeter than I had ever expected, we found harmony in this new space of celibacy and calm. That my old tendencies to lean too hard into my sexual desires, and his old tendencies to avoid it by ironically playing the part of womanizer, stopped. The smoke had cleared for both of us. Here we temporarily found peace, a breather. And here is where truth could finally come through, for both of us, and between us. This was the agreement our Souls had made that sunny afternoon when we kissed next to my car.

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Photo by Pixabay on

Compassionate Clarity

A few more months into this two year journey had gone by when the biggest truth came through. I was finishing up some laundry and noticed a rubber band that had fallen out of his pants pocket. In that moment everything flashed before me, our history, his history, and his truth. In that moment I knew that his rejection of me sexually, was never about me. It was never about me not being good enough, or sexy enough or even young enough. It was solely about him and what he didn’t even know about himself. That I wasn’t actually aligned with his true sexual orientation. And that none of the women that he desperately flaunted were. It was all so clear. All of it.

The depth of compassion and heartache that immediately flowed through me took me to my knees, I didn’t think of myself. I thought of him and how tortured he must have been his entire life. And I wept. Then I made a new internal vow. Knowing that ultimately our marriage had to end, and that we both needed to live lives that honored our genuine needs. It took another three years, three years of compassion, grace and continued celibacy to steer us towards this ending. It nearly killed me. But I held the container and the space within it for us to come through a new depth of even greater harmony and truth. I poured absolute unconditional love into this man, I showed him the utmost compassion and understanding, and I held the space for him to eventually realize for himself what his truth is, and to find peace within himself.

That this space of celibacy between us enabled him to heal into his truth, and to start to heal a lifetime of wounds around it, and it enabled me to heal years of sexual and psychic trauma too. I am incredibly grateful for this experience between us, I consider it to have truly saved me, although it nearly killed me too, it ultimately did save me. It thrust me into a massive awakening and into the gifts I have carried for lifetimes, waiting to be embodied and used to serve others through, starting with myself and my recent now ex husband.

I am still currently celibate, as I am walking myself through the grieving of finally closing out this Soul agreement between us. Still unraveling the threads that kept me so closely bound for so long. Recognizing now that the intense passion I felt for him was the eroticization of my old wounds, lifetimes of wounds, being touched, triggered and activated for the purpose of healing and integrating. And that the level of intensity I had felt for so long was only a reflection of the intensity of my wounding, and the desperate plea for it to be met and healed.

In the months since this conscious uncoupling, so much has been revealed to me about the masculine and feminine energies within each of us, and between us. Regardless of how we identify, that these energies when brought into harmony through the healing of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine within us individually, can create Divine Union between us as partners. That we can disarm the eroticized wounds and roles as victims, and embark on the hero’s journey into conscious co-creation. That conscious or even unplanned celibacy can both create a space for clarity and truth, a space of ease and also raw and open opportunity for the deepest sexual healing we could ever have imagined for ourselves. And possibly for those that witness us too.

Regardless of how we identify, that these energies when brought into harmony through the healing of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine within us individually, can create Divine Union between us as partners.

stacy walker

I look forward to my journey moving forward, of further harmonization within myself, and in aligning with a new partner in true Divine Union and expression. While now knowing that whoever this man is, that he is also an opportunity for any additional wounds being called to the surface for healing and integration, through more conscious awareness, and not misunderstood eroticization. But also that he will be a reflection and celebration of all of the healing and transformations I have carried myself through so far. And that will truly be something glorious to experience and to exalt to.

Stacy Walker is an embodied Oracle, Akashic Records Reader and Teacher. She currently lives in Jacksonville, Florida where she is actively working with the Ley Lines in the area. 
Working with clients remotely primarily through zoom, as a Quantum Healer distance isn’t an issue, nor is time, these initiations, activations and healings are infinite and are just as effective as receiving in person. 

A Session with her provides tremendous insights, understanding and support. You are held by your Guides, and provided with what you are needing most in that moment. Coming away from your session with a greater understanding of many areas of your life and experiences, plus tools to further support your journey. 
Her primary mission is empowerment, through her Online Courses and Services, every individual can unlock their highest potential, and anchor in their own Souls Purpose and Personal Power. 

Connect with Stacy:

I will be offering my Akashic Records Readings at 50% Off for the remainder of the year (2021). 
•There isn’t any discount code required•The discount come off automatically in their shopping cart •No limit on purchases •These Sessions can be Gifted to others 
My New Soul Codex -Akashic Reading & Embodiment is open for enrollment now! Content will be accessible on Dec 1st.

Want some more good reads about personal empowerment? Try these: The First Pillar: Whole-Self Love [Part 1- Personal Empowerment Overview] Take Your Power Back I Said YES to Me!

Are You Brave Enough?

Written By Guest Contributor, Lisa Winston

Trigger Warning: This post contains mentions of serious disease, abuse, sexual violence.

My life has been hard. One challenge after another since I was very young. Then, one year after finally meeting the love of my life at the age of 59 and beginning a life-long dream of travel, international speaking, writing books and more, I got hit with an excruciatingly difficult personal health challenge, one that was totally unexpected. I collapsed with neuro-Lyme disease, a disease that rendered me unable to go out in public for almost a year. I became so panicked, I could have been institutionalized. My brain and eyes didn’t work. I couldn’t see clearly and my visual perception was way off. I felt like I was going blind and crazy. And that was just the beginning of the 25 severe symptoms I was about to experience. 2019 was the longest year of my life.

As I began to slowly heal, I was beyond anxious to be able to eat at restaurants, go to a movie, shop and travel. I pushed myself and flew to LA in January of 2020, for a movie premiere with my love, even though I didn’t look or feel very well. I got to briefly see my daughter who was driving from San Diego back to Oregon. It was a first step. It felt good.

I made plans. I looked forward to the future and I couldn’t wait to be well again.

And then, Covid hit. And it hit hard. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t see it coming. All of my intuitive capabilities didn’t give me a clue. No one else saw it coming either. Shock, fear, uncertainty and eventually depression hit. Now what? What if I or someone I love gets sick or dies? Will we have enough toilet paper? How will we make a living? Will life ever be the same?

For someone who teaches that life is happening FOR us and not TO us, two big crisis’ in one year was too much. In that moment, I was forced to choose between giving up what I teach and believe or using every tool I had in my toolkit. I didn’t like what I was experiencing but I had a deep knowing that what I teach is true, so I clung to it. That choice saved me and that’s why I’m sharing this with you today.

What do you do when LIFE challenges you?

stylish model with closed eyes in sunshine
Photo by Olya Prutskova on

When life throws us curve balls, we have two choices. We get to jump into a deep state of fear, depression and negativity, or, we can choose to see things in a different light, a more positive light. You know the saying “what you focus on grows?” Well, it’s 100% true. We are energetic beings who always attract what we think, feel and vibrate. We attract our dominate vibration. And again, we always get to choose. We are not victims of fate, but deliberate creators with power.

One thing I know for sure, is that when I look back over my life and all of my challenges; abuse, r*pe, divorces, losing my home to wildfire, breast c*ncer and Lyme, I can absolutely SEE how Spirit (God, the Universe, the Divine) is woven through all of my “stories.” I can see how things were perfectly orchestrated just for me. I can find evidence of loved ones supporting me, unexpected people showing up; proof of everything I needed being provided in perfect timing and yes, even miracles.

So, we can all go to the “dark side,” but why would we want to? We all have a habit of expecting the worst. But what would happen if we expected the best? We can’t possibly see the entire picture; only the Divine can do that. So, what if we chose to amp up our faith, and trust that something bigger than us, some “thing” that loves us so much, actually has our back and wants us to experience good?

You Can’t Just Sit There

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Whether it’s Covid, a health challenge, relationship breakup, trouble with your kids or your job, you get to choose how you’ll show up. If you sit around mulling things over in your head, nothing will get better. And I guarantee, you will suffer. But, if you decide to jump in, say YES to whatever is happening for you, not only will things improve, but you will feel better. I live by this. It’s been my saving grace and my greatest strength.

Taking action is imperative, even if only baby steps at first. When you actively participate in asking questions, listening for answers and raising your vibrations, victimhood falls by the wayside. I’m not saying these things are easy at first, especially when you’re in a crisis, but you can absolutely work through your human moments and inch your way into using your superpowers. My bout with Lyme propelled me into the darkest night of the soul I ever experienced. I was sure I was dying and there were days I wanted to die. But there was a fire that burned inside of me that was greater. I found my way to it, and so can you.

Do Anything And Everything To Raise Your Vibes

woman standing in front of flowing water
Photo by Alexandr Podvalny on

When I was ill, one day I just decided I was going to fight for my life. From that moment on, I did every, crazy thing I could think of to show the Universe I meant business. I did energy work all day long; I listened to Jason Mraz and danced around the apartment even though I couldn’t see! I put affirmations on sticky notes large and small and stuck them on windows, ceilings and walls. I videotaped my journey for teaching when I was well. I meditated and more.

So, when life hits you with things unexpected, try one or all of these things. I promise, if you’re determined enough and don’t give in to your old negative human habits, they will help.

1. Start an “evidence journal.” Just as I explained above, write down all of the things you remember about difficult times in your life when you absolutely saw the hand of the Divine working on your behalf. Look at these miracles often and be in gratitude.

2. Ask, “what is this here to teach me?” Then, stay out of your head and wait as long as it takes for an answer(s). Be patient. It will come.

3. Reframe your thinking. This is imperative. If you feel you’re powerless in your situation, ask yourself how this wonderful challenge has come to assist you in stepping into your power. If you feel that horrible things always happen to you, ask yourself how this situation is happening FOR you. Look for the evidence. Reclaim power over your “stinkin thinkin” and learn to see the good. Question your thoughts, self-talk and beliefs and soon, you will see that most of the things you tell yourself are just not true!

4. Visualize a happy outcome. I call this pre-paving your future. Once you get good at seeing yourself healthy, happy, in love, etc, then add emotion to it. Don’t just see yourself in these situations. FEEL the story as if you’re living it. This kind of energy creates.

5. Learn to be in gratitude for anything and everything. Gratitude is a high vibration. Even if you don’t feel grateful because your dominant vibration is fear, do it anyway. Create a list. As you commit to doing it more often, your vibrations will begin to rise.

6. Do something you love that’s high vibe. We are creators. When we don’t create, we stagnate. Sing. Dance. Paint. Take a walk.

And, above all else, love and be gentle with yourself. It’s all a part of the journey.

lisa winston

And, above all else, love and be gentle with yourself. It’s all part of the journey. The more you practice these skills during the difficult times, the more grit you acquire, the more you ignite your inner fire and the more confident you become, knowing all things are here to make you stronger. And, you get to help others through your experience!

So, are you brave enough?

Lisa Winston is a gifted vocalist, #1 international bestselling author of “Your Turning Point,” TV host, intuitive mindset strategist and inspirational speaker.  A life of extreme challenges, including losing her home to wildfire, breast cancer, and neuro-Lyme disease, made her hungry for a deeper connection to Source and determined to find her true calling.  Today, she shares the message that life is always happening for you and challenges are sent to refine, not define you.  Lisa has produced many influential global summits and is also featured on online summits, national radio, podcasts and trainings.  She co-hosts and produces The Mindset Reset TV Show, a weekly series which reaches millions, worldwide.  Lisa is so grateful to be mom to her beautiful daughter, Sarah, and to live, teach, and speak across the globe with her soulmate, life partner and love, Dr. Joe Vitale.

“Say YES to life and allow it to transform you at the deepest level.” – Lisa Winston
Lisa Winston Television Host, Producer, Best-Selling Author, The Unstoppable Resilience Coach and Speaker Cosmic Love, LLC(c) 858-705-2134 Inquiries:
Personal Website: 
Personal Email:

This article appeared originally on and is reprinted here with the express permission of the writer. All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Open Letter to a Little Girl

Written by Sherry Van Antwerp, Guest Contributor

mother and daughter in the garden
Photo by Jonathan Borba on

To: The Little Girl That Just Wanted Love

From: Your Adult Self

Date: The Here and Now

RE: Exciting Status Update

Hello Little One,

I’m sorry I haven’t taken the time to write to you sooner. Honestly, I didn’t know exactly what to say because I’m still trying to figure out what is going on!

First, let me say that I’m sorry you had to endure so much at such a young age. At a time in your life when you should have felt care-free, you instead felt a tremendous burden.

That wasn’t right.

I know that you desperately wanted, and needed, love and attention. And for real, we all do!

You shouldn’t have had to struggle so hard to feel that.

Sometimes you decided that doing things absolutely perfectly was the way you got attention, and maybe just a smattering of love, but it didn’t fill you up.

You just learned that you had to excel at everything in order to even get noticed.

And that success was always fleeting because there was always the next goal, or project, that came along.

So you’d start all over again working so, so hard to get it right.

To get noticed.

To get a little acknowledgement and a few precious moments of feeling like you were worthy.

Sometimes you thought, well F*ck this all, and became a little Rebel. That defiant little self showed up when you were tired of fighting to be valued.

If no one cared, why should you?

But deep inside you felt a bit selfish, and that you were just a disappointment.

Again, not worthy.

I’m so very sorry that things weren’t different. But know that I have learned some lessons, and I’m working on making changes for us.

I want you to know that you are always loved and worthy now. We don’t need external validation, because honestly that’s just always going to be a game with someone else determining our worth.

But here’s the big news that I’ve learned for us!

It is OK to make taking care of ourselves a priority! WOW!

I know, I know… we thought that we always had to be excelling and preforming and being the “good” one.

Everyone and everything came before us, because that’s how we had always gotten acknowledgement!

We were the great employee that went above and beyond, the great mom doing alllll the things, the spouse that kept it all going (even though we often resented it).

Little One, I have figured out that isn’t how it works! Because I can’t be anyone’s rock if I’m crumbling.

So now I’m making us more of a priority. It doesn’t mean I’m shoving everything else aside, because well… reality! But I am making sure that I’m on the list.

Self-care doesn’t have to mean “me first” but it does mean “me too.”

I’m excited for the future and I want you to know that I value what you went through. You are amazing, just the way you are.

Love you and I mean it!

Little One, I have figured out that isn’t how it works! Because I can’t be anyone’s rock if I’m crumbling.

sherry van antwerp

Sherry VanAntwerp, also known as The GenX Whisperer, is an intuitive mindset coach and speaker. With 20+ years in corporate, raising two children and triumphing over traumatic losses, she now helps GenX women uncover and discover their passion and purpose to create more fulfilling lives. Sherry’s perspective on the craziness of life as a GenX woman drives her mission to help women follow through with their own life transformation because you can’t be anyone’s rock if you’re crumbling!

Follow Sherry on Instagram: @the_genx_whisperer

Want some more good reads about healing? Try these oldies but goodies: How I Became The Blessings Butterfly, Pt. 2: Redemption Story Positivity is My Superpower, Negativity is My Kryptonite #FridayFaves: Healing Your Trauma Through Meditation, Featuring Rachel John of Soul BEing

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Grounding yourself in what matters to you…

By Tracy Neely, Guest Contributor

There’s a spark inside of you and we all see it. Do you? Life has a way of sometimes masking our light underneath beliefs, thoughts, and life circumstances that keep us from feeling grounded in our desires.

We are just past the halfway point for 2021. What is life showing you right now? Is it in alignment with your desires?

As we experience life and everything that comes with that, I want to share a grounding practice with you that can activate your root energy center and stimulate a remembrance of what matters to you, so that in the moments when we may feel challenged, we can remember what’s important to us.

There have been many moments when I have felt lost or felt disconnected from myself. In those moments, the practice of grounding into my desires has supported me in feeling more rooted in myself and what matters to me. Our main energy channels direct energy up and down and all around our body. They affect our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual bodies. We have additional energy centers that exist in our hands, feet, below our physical body and above our physical body. For now we are going to focus on our root center, our first energy center.

Life has a way of sometimes masking our light underneath beliefs, thoughts, and life circumstances that keep us from feeling grounded in our desires.

tracy neely

Root Energy Center

Our root center (first energy center) is the energy center located at the base of our spine.

  • It is connected to how safe we feel.
  • It governs our sense of stability.
  • It takes into account our self-preservation.
  • It shows us how connected we are to our community.
  • It is tied to our basic instinct of survival.
  • It is the foundation upon which everything else is built.
  • It is deeply connected to the Earth and signals to us how grounded we feel in our body, in our emotions, in our mind.

The symbolism of this practice is represented by a tree with strong roots. Without strong roots, a tree will wither and die. With strong roots, a tree will flourish and nurture everything around it. Words are very powerful and create energy in our lives so I’m sharing a practice that can ground you back into your true self. With so much going on in the world, it’s easy to lose ourselves or forget what matters to us.

Grounding Practice

This grounding practice is very simple and powerful. I discovered this from a beautiful soul name Oracle Blue. I’ve adapted it so that it connects with your root energy center.

Think of five words that root you back into yourself. These five words remind you of who you are when the world wants to tell you something different.

Take some time to get still and breathe. Think about your five words and write them down.

These five words will direct you throughout everything you do personally and professionally.

I’ve included two illustrations. You can print out the first one and fill it out and refer back to it. The second illustration is my five words. They are the foundation of who I am even when I doubt myself. It’s a remembrance of what matters to


As you write down each word, bring your attention to the base of your spine and breathe in your five words, allowing them to ground into your root energy system. If you’re so inclined, I would love for you to share your five words with us by commenting on this blog post.

As we navigate the rest of this year and connect with what lights us up, come back to your five words and feel the energy of them so that you continue to feel grounded in what matters to you.

I’m sending you love as you connect with the deepest part of yourself and experience a remembrance of being grounded and rooted in your whole self.

Gratitude and Love, Tracy

Tracy Neely – Intuititive Healer, Certified Life Coach and Seer For Womxn Entrepreneurs
Mindset Alchemy®

[A lovely Black Womxn sits in front of a gray brick wall. She is wears her natural curls in a way that frames her face. She has a black v-neck blouse on and smiles at the camera.]

Tracy Neely is an Intuitive Healer, Certified Life Coach, Seer and Soul Priestess for coaches, healers, and visionary womxn entrepreneurs that are ready to elevate to the next level of their business and experience success doing what lights up their soul.  ⁣Tracy believes that transforming the way we work in our business is an inside job. ⁣Tracy believes that harmonizing and balancing our energy, activating our light and accessing our gifts will amplify the impact we desire to share with the world through the transformational work she does with her clients. Tracy works one-on-one with private clients in her Elevate Alchemy Private Coaching and Healing Program and through her Mindset Alchemy Sessions. Tracy utilizes ancient healing tools, techniques and practices to support and guide her clients through their inner-transformation so that they experience a powerful shift in their life and business.

Connect with Tracy: Website Facebook Instagram Email:

Want to read more about energy healing practices? Try These from The Blessings Butterfly: A Story About Energy & Healing Mindset Shifts and Deep Healing Transformational Positivity and the 4 Pillars

Watch this interview between Tracy Neely and Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Take Your Power Back

By Sarah Marie Liddle, Guest Contributor

woman in black angel costume. Your real power
Photo by murat esibatir on

Your power is not something you force externally, or obtain, it is not reliant on anything or anyone. While you can still surround yourself with things you derive happiness from, it is important to draw yourself home to your intangible inner world. Your worth and power should not be found in things, people or experiences. Do not sacrifice your real power in search of the powerless illusions of the ego. 

Where have you given your power over to someone or something outside of yourself?

The universe gives you specific circumstances and people to learn from, so if you find yourself in a space which you would rather not be in, stop right now and see how you created the space that you are in. Then ask yourself what thinking got me here? Placing blame in people and situations outside of yourself will only take you away from your true power. The reality is, God/Goddess/Source/Spirit gave you everything for a reason, so relax, and enjoy the journey, you have got this, you have the power. 

Have Faith

Everything is where it needs to be, including you. Choosing to release how you think it should go, and how you think people should behave, will ease you away from pain and grievances. If you release the illusions you hold, then the things outside of yourself will make space for the infinite power within yourself to emerge. If you are holding too tightly onto external things—people, positions, places, events, objects and outcomes—then there is no room for things to emerge inside of yourself.

Expand Into Your Real Power

Expanding your life starts by expanding your power. Real power does not just expand externally, it expands internally. Meet yourself in this moment, allow it to be what it is, without judgement, shame, embarrassment, hatred, or hurt. Just allow. This moment is said to be your life, when you lean into the moment you are leaning into your life and the lessons of it. 

You are reclaiming your soulful power and allocating a new meaning to your life by stepping away from the stories that keep you stuck. 

This is your life, your one true life, and you are now lifting yourself higher.

sarah marie liddle

No longer is the power outside of yourself, no longer do you need to know who will be where and when, no longer do you feel drawn to purchasing something to feel better. You have stepped into your one true power. The power of your being. In this loving space it is all easy. Let me repeat that again, it is all easy. It is spacious, and it is graceful. Now breathe deeply. This is your life, your one true life, and you are now lifting yourself higher.

Journal Prompts:

  • How have I prevented myself from stepping into my inward power?
  • What might I need to let go of to move forward?
  • How can I make space to tune into my inward power?
  • Who or what must I release to awaken the power that was within me all along?

[A lovely woman with fair skin and blonde hair stands in front of lush greenery. She wears a see-through black lace dress and looks with intensity into the camera.]

Sarah Marie Liddle is a Certified Professional Coach, and Certified Body Ecologist. Sarah has been a coach for fifteen years. She specialises in wellness, healing and soul growth. Sign up for Sarah’s weekly news/letter. Receive wellness tips, seasonal rituals, and nourishing ways to connect to yourself and others—completely free. Join the newsletter. To learn more about Sarah visit her website.

Want to read some more quick mini-articles about personal empowerment? Try these: A Moment of Truth The Best Idea Is To Let You Shine All The Way Through

Watch this video interview between Sarah Marie Liddle and Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

It’s messy & smelly & hairy, but it’s the only way through

By Kristin Nelson, Guest Contributor

Hi there, loves! I’m Kristin and in 2020 I created a business in Kansas City, Missouri called Unravel Your Life. I create & take opportunities that allow me to help people de-clutter their homes & minds, making more space for them to stretch out their arms & be themselves. I do Akashic Record & Tarot readings, and I’m learning Reiki & energy healing. It’s glorious & I’m grateful because my life is rad. I let the Universe guide me on what to do next. I listen, I move forward, one step at a time, with Spirit by my side, receiving messages for myself and for my clients. I feel connected & fulfilled for the first time in my life.

Sounds beautiful & fun & easy breezy, doesn’t it!? Like I just woke up one day and became a magical mystical spiritual goddess. Like I just stepped into energy work & oops, discovered I could hear messages from Spirit for myself and others. Teehee, the fairies made me do it!


It’s been hard af.

I didn’t step into this life, into energy work, gracefully & with poise. It wasn’t an angelic ascension or a miracle enlightenment. It wasn’t perfection incarnate. It wasn’t love & light & laughter. It was so. very. human. And spoiler alert…being a human is gross. And heartbreaking. And messy. And smelly. And imperfect. And hairy. And overwhelming. And it hurts. A lot.

But for me, it was the only way through.

young female astrologist predicting future with shining ball
Photo by Victoria Borodinova on

Shiny On The Outside

Because for decades, I had tried everything else. I was a rule follower & I listened to what society told me to do: “Stop crying. Study up. Climb the ladder. Buckle down. Hustle. Work hard. Keep moving. Buy more! Eat this. Lose weight. Improve yourself. Move on. Try harder.” Guess what? It didn’t work. I had a great career. I had a great life. I had everything they said would give me happiness. But I felt unfulfilled, burned out. And the world around me was still a mess.

Now don’t get me wrong, if you saw me, you’d never know that I wasn’t happy. On the outside, I usually looked shiny & excited, and I always looked put together & accomplished & productive. That’s the persona I built my entire life. I was independent & studious & a go-getter. But inside, I was scared a lot. I needed to control all the things to keep the anxiety at bay. I was always moving, always planning, always thinking ahead. Running so fast that time (life) would just fly by me. I kept my mind either racing with distractions or numbed out with alcohol. Never just still. Never just present. Never just fully here. I pushed down anything that was scary or sad or dark or unpleasant or uncomfortable to feel, and leaned hard into safety, security, comfort, control.

In some ways it felt like living a double life. Super fine & dandy on the outside. “All good here! Livin’ the dream! Keepin’ busy!” And then under the surface I often felt…broken. A mess. Like I needed fixing because I did all the things & still wasn’t happy. Still wasn’t satisfied with myself and my life. Still didn’t know what I wanted. Still didn’t feel like I had a purpose. I felt far away from myself & had no idea who I was or wanted to be.

And all that stuff I suppressed, pushed down, ignored, denied? It had nowhere to go. It stayed inside of me because I wouldn’t let it out. It bubbled & boiled & lingered. And so every so often, always in the dark, always in private, I would break down & shatter into a thousand pieces. All the darkness I ignored would spill out & through me, I couldn’t control it any longer. Panic, paralyzation, disorientation. In those moments when I let it all loose, I felt completely batshit crazy. Like I was nuts for feeling so ‘fine’ most of the time (life is good! I have all the things!) and then for being completely blindsided again and again by this deep, dark horrible realization that living as I was, with high functioning anxiety & indecision & fear & control, wasn’t really how I wanted to live.

It was like waking up for a brief moment after being asleep for a really long time. It was like glimpsing reality for a brief moment after living in denial for decades. It was like realizing that I had been floating along, letting the current of busy life just sweep me away, getting farther and farther and farther away from myself. It felt fucking awful. It felt like I was so broken inside, so unfixable, that maybe I should just stop tryin’.

This happened over and over throughout my life, when I least expected it, when I thought everything was good & under control. Until I reached a point in 2016, hyperventilating (again) on the floor of my closet, after 6 MONTHS of debilitating indecision & anxiety over an impending break up, where I just couldn’t do it anymore. This cycle of living in the land of make believe and crashing into reality, over and over. 30 years of curation. 30 years of seeking perfection. 30 years of trying to control everything. I was tired. I was done. I wouldn’t put myself through that again.

crop person hand in broken mirror
Photo by Bruno Pires on

Healing From The Inside

So in that moment, I made a vow to stop pretending. To start dealing with my shit instead of burying it inside of me. It was the only thing left I hadn’t tried. The only thing I had always been too scared to do. Facing myself. Turning inwards, instead of out there, to “find myself.” At the age of 31, I stopped pretending that I was “fine” & started wading through the muck of my life. Childhood experiences that made me build super strong armor around my heart & hide who I really was. Beliefs I had about life that were hurting me, not helping me. All the rules & the ‘shoulds’ I had accumulated over decades. For me personally, a big one was feeling all the things I never let myself feel when I was 13 and my mom died. At her funeral, I smiled & played with my cousins & was “totally fine, thanks bye!.” I never grieved. I never processed.

I unearthed everything within me that I had been pretending wasn’t there. I stepped into myself. And it was horrifying stuff. It’s dark in there, in the corners of yourself you’ve never dared to look. I got a therapist. I started digging & exploring within myself. Anything that came up, instead of suppressing it & running in the other direction, I faced it. Wrote about it. Talked about it. Shared about it. Read about it. Cried about it. Laughed about it. Raged about it. I let anything that needed to surface, surface. And I faced it. And it sucked.

But I also realized that it’s everything I came here to do. I’m here to LIVE, not float through life. I’m here to THRIVE, not settle for some mediocre existence. I’m here to be a messy human, not a perfect robot. I’m here to learn & grow & expand. And now I have enough room inside me to do that. Those things that I suppressed actually took up real estate inside of me. They blocked my life force from flowing. They kept ‘me’ hidden & small, when all I’ve ever really wanted is to be seen & valued & loved. They kept my mind spinning. For decades I hemorrhaged my personal power & energy trying to keep them quiet & hidden & secret.

…when the noise & clutter were gone, and I could hear myself clearly for the first damn time, I didn’t feel alone…

kristin nelson

“Finding myself” was not a process of adding new experiences, new skills, new jobs, new knowledge on top of myself. The accumulation actually made it even harder for me to see myself within all that junk. “Finding myself” was a process of removal. Digging deep. Exploring. Rooting around & removing all the junk that others had given to me. Expectations, shoulds, beliefs, stories, lies, inherited traumas from my family & ancestors….stuff that wasn’t really mine. And when I unraveled that mess inside myself, when I made space, all that was left was…me.

And what’s extra wild is that when the noise & clutter were gone, and I could hear myself clearly for the first damn time, I didn’t feel alone & small in a deep dark cave of nothingness. I felt…connected for the first time in my life to something bigger than me.

Where I used to spend so much of my energy curating and improving and perfecting myself, and caring what other people thought of me, and maintaining my image, now my power is free for me to use. The energy has always been there. The connection has always been there. The power has always been there. But I was always too busy racing through life to notice.

Maybe like me, you were told to leave your troubles behind & climb to the highest heights to find happiness. Those stairs lead nowhere. Trust me, I climbed pretty damn high. You are strong enough to feel all the things & to face all of you. Stop climbing. Turn around. And start stepping down into yourself. It will be gross, and heartbreaking, and messy, and smelly, and imperfect, and hairy, and overwhelming, and hard af, and it will hurt. A lot. But for me, it was the only way through.

[A lovely fair-skinned young woman against a dark background. She wears a dark tank top and holds a light, shimmering fabric behind her neck. Her brown hair is pulled back from her face. She looks upwards and smiles.]

Kristin Nelson (she/hers) lives in Kansas City, Missouri but keeps little pieces of her heart all over the world in the places she’s lived & loved. In 2019, burnt out by a 12-year fundraising career, she quit to fulfill a dream of leading biking tours in Europe with Backroads. That terrifying leap of faith changed everything, and in 2020 she started working for herself & created Unravel Your Life, LLC. A highly sensitive person (HSP) herself, Kristin understands overwhelm all too well & helps people move through clutter & the daunting home organization projects they dread. She also receives messages for clients from Spirit via the Akashic Records & Tarot, which makes her magic-seeking inner child insanely happy. In her Aquarian, Projector heart of hearts, Kristin really wants to use her privilege & power as a white, cisgendered woman to dismantle the racist & sexist systems running our world & to create a new paradigm of leadership that makes everyone feel like they are truly seen, “gotten”, and treasured.

Connect with Kristin: Facebook Instagram or Email at

Want to read more articles about reckoning with healing? Try these: A Story About Energy & Healing Thoughts on Healing In the Aftermath

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Without Condition

Written by Tina Falk, Guest Contributor

{watercolor painting with the words Dream, Certainty, Soar, Forgive, Success drawn in different colors of hand lettering. There is a multi-colored border of watercolors surround the words.]
Original artwork by Tina Falk

There’s a remarkable woman I know. A little bit on a personal level, but on a heart and soul level—I see her and she is pretty fxcking cool. I’ve witnessed her strength, and grace, and ability to consider others even during challenging personal moments. She’s someone I look to to remind me that we are far deeper and greater than our circumstances and that we can embody so much at one time. We can be fearful and hopeful, we can be grieving while dreaming, or even centered on self while being of service to others. 

I was incredibly honored, but a bit taken aback when this strong woman, Michelle Lewis, private-messaged me asking if I would write about how I show up to life with love, courage, respect, compassion and peace for MY SELF. So I got curious and started asking myself how I show up to life as a strong woman who embodies these high-vibe traits. ‘Cause man, does Michelle do it well!

Here’s what I know . . . I show up best to life through self-assessment.

tina falk

Here’s what I know… I show up best to life through self-assessment. It’s only when I know ME in the moment that I can make the necessary adjustments. And sometimes those are bold changes towards setting clear boundaries and loving myself. I learned 25 years ago, from one of my master teachers, that checking in with myself first was solid good practice for how to address any challenges whether situational or relationship wise. We are co-creators. We’re all in this together and if I don’t check in with myself to see what my role in “this” is, then I am missing the mark. Let me share a bold decision I made a few years ago that propelled me to the life I live now.

I was 50 (for those of you who know western astrology this is during a Chiron return and mine is in my first house—childhood wounds and trauma). It was Thanksgiving day. I shared a story with someone about my unhealthy, one-sided, and confusing relationship with my father. The person I was sharing this with was shocked, as they had known me my whole life. “Tina, I had no idea,” they replied with concern. Then they shared one thought that changed everything. 

“I wonder if he (my father) has Narcissistic Personality Disorder?” My whole life flashed before my eyes—like a video replay. And I heard myself say, “No wonder he doesn’t love me. It’s not my fault.” My eyes filled with tears, my heart pounded and I was devastated. AND I felt an indescribable sense of freedom.

I had spent my entire life wondering what I had to do to be seen and loved by this man. And now on the heels of this new aha! moment was a deep dive into understanding this disorder and what I was going to do about it. After weeks of research and consulting professionals, I had made one of the most challenging decisions of my life—to go NO CONTACT. 

Well, it’s been 5 years and it’s like he didn’t even notice. My own father hasn’t reached out to me nor his grandchildren. He moved on to his next source. MY GAWD! what a relief to come to this realization, that my own birth father, someone who was supposed to protect me and love me without condition, dropped the ball because of who HE is……NOT who I am. 

It was devastating because I knew no matter what I did things would never change. I doubted my decision for a while, grieved for a couple years, and to this day still think about him. Sometimes with anger, but mostly with gratitude for my awareness and the decision I made to protect myself and my family. Aside from not having to anxiously navigate that messed up relationship anymore, I needed to find purpose and meaning in it. Like Why? Why would I have picked him to be my father? Why would I have agreed to this? 

[blue sea under blue sky. a castle sits atop an island in the distance.]
Photo by Riccardo Bertolo on

What am I here to learn?

I was working with a Body and Emotion Code therapist, a couple years after my no contact decision, who sweetly yet firmly responded to my questions. She said, “You are here, as Tina, to learn unconditional love. In fact, you are getting your PhD in Unconditional Love. God wouldn’t put you in a family that knew how to love unconditionally. You wouldn’t learn that way, right?” Crap. Made total sense. 

This was a very empowering time for me. I felt rebellious and free!!! — to discover who I am rather than who I thought I had to be in the eyes of others. It was in the stars, right? Thanks Chiron. The timing was divine and each day moving forward I gained a greater sense of compassion (not pity) for myself. I have created a life of peace. A life that is at my pace, in my time, with my boundaries, plenty of rest and quiet, and bringing in moments of ceremony—like lighting a candle, reciting mantras, breathing, journaling, nature walks, and fire burning. I love to connect with others through my passion of Chinese metaphysics and astrology. And, I pay forward the gifts I’ve been given by teaching, as well as donating energy to charitable organizations that assist children who feel alone, hungry and scared.

Check in with Yourself

I’m still checking in with myself. It’s a habit now, it’s just how I do things. Not everyone has that skill—my father sure didn’t. Once I realized my role in enabling this nonsense and toxicity to continue, it was an easy call. I did what I did because I love and respect myself. The consequences of that decision have blessed me. I’m aware of the lifetime of trauma that came from this relationship. I’m more aware of what my wounds are and what stress responses I have because of them. I am learning to take all that love, respect, and compassion I have offered others and direct it upon myself by creating a life that is intentional, meaningful and peaceful. 

It’s never too late to love yourself. Check in. Ask questions. What are you co-creating? Is it serving your highest well being? How are you going to love yourself today? 

Tina Falk BFA, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, Chinese Astrologer & Metaphysician

A lovely fair-skinned woman stands outdoors. She is clothed in a white v-neck shirt and a dark cardigan with geometric print details layered over it. Her hair is very long and warm brown. She smiles peacefully at the camera.]

About Tina:

I am Tina Falk, a Chinese Metaphysician and Astrologer. I’ve been practicing this way of life since 2005. My goal is to provide a professional and intuitive perspective to enhance your awareness and appreciation of Self and Space. My role is to bring you into a place of being in gratitude, creating conscious intentions, taking action and believing in your own power. This will propel you into a more meaningful and purposeful life. I am a classically trained feng shui practitioner who also incorporates Landform and BTB principles. And to me, the most exciting aspect is integration of your 4 Pillar Chinese astrology charts. My approach allows me to personalize your whole feng shui experience! I can make recommendations that are specific to you, and each member of your family or business team. Everyone deserves that personal attention. Overall, I am here to support — sometimes with a firm stance, but always with love and empathy — and to inspire a new way in which you see the world and your place in it. Feng shui has enriched my life by revealing everything from the insanely obvious to the subtlest of energy in our surroundings. We are sensitive beings and when we can connect and create a sacred relationship with ourselves, our space and others…damn, life gets exciting and motivating! Feng Shui has been a true gift to me . . . and my family. I intend for it to be the same for you. 

Connect with Tina: VIA Feng Shui Instagram

Want to read more articles on Self-Love and Acceptance? Try These: Self-Care for Self Love Transformational Positivity and the 4 Pillars

All opinions expressed in this article are the sole perception/experience of the writer, and may not necessarily be shared by Michelle Lewis – The Blessings Butterfly. All Rights Reserved.

Big Intentions

BIG JUNE INTENTIONS: I am planning to be away from the digital life for most of this month so I can be totally present while away on my Honeymoon. I am Choosing Presence.

For the month of June, it is my intention to stay in-the-moment and also to dramatically reduce the amount of time I spend on social media… quite the challenge for someone whose business is almost exclusively online!

I am not abandoning my work, instead what I am doing is putting it back in it’s proper place. I’ve noticed that my screen time has become quite lopsided and I’m not okay with that.

silhouette of a person on a swing
Photo by Asad Photo Maldives on

To be honest, it gives me an anxious feeling to share this Big Intention. It feels very familiar- much like when I first quit smoking, or when I quit drugs, or when I learned how to not get shit-faced drunk everyday, or when I stopped disconnecting from my body especially during sex, or when I learned how to have a mutually loving & healthy relationship with food instead of using it as another tool to abuse myself… basically the way it felt for me to face, understand, and release myself from my addictions.

You know, the real-life baggage of someone who’s been through some shit.

But here’s the thing: Big Intentions can lead us to Big Transformations.

Sure, there are maybe a million tiny actions and next-steps that take place between the declaration of the Big Intention and the realization of the Big Transformation. It’s not like one just flips a switch and POOF! Metamorphosis. There may even be millions of micro-movements before the Big Intention is stated. But there IS something absolutely magickal in that moment when you decide that Yes, actually, I am ready to make a change.

But here’s the thing: Big Intentions can lead us to Big Transformations.

michelle lewis – the blessings butterfly

The moment of the Big Intention is the moment when Hope and Faith and Belief and Wishes and Dreams and Desire all intersect, and you find yourself choosing to leap from the place of stagnant self-doubt into the realm of possibility. It’s the moment between shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. It’s the moment when your “I can’t!” becomes “I think I can!”

And before anyone gets it twisted, there’s NO SHAME in getting professional help. Remember, you’re still the one doing the work even when you’ve got a coach, therapist, or specialist guiding & supporting you.

Maybe your own Big Intention is something that challenges you, inspires you, or even maybe scares you- it’s okay. Gather up your courage, call in your support squad, and take that next right step forward. As soon as you decide that you’re ready to make that change, whatever it may be- your own Big Transformation is waiting on the other side of it.

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Michelle Lewis (she/her/they) is the creator & founder of The Blessings Butterfly, a holistic coaching & energy healing practice that is teaching people to live a life that they love. She is a writer, speaker, energy witch/healer, and author of the Amazon bestselling positive affirmation books, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Companion Guide Having worked hard for decades to overcome severely traumatic events that began in her early childhood and repeated in painful, looping patterns well into her adult life, Michelle is passionate about using her gifts and wisdom in bringing hope and healing to millions. This is more than “mindset hacks” and “Pollyanna” positivity. Through the work of what she calls Transformational Positivity, Michelle helps her clients to get clear on where to shift their thoughts and actions, while dismantling the culture of toxic positivity.