Weekends are sacred in our home, a time for resting, relaxing, and restoring our bodies & souls. We take care of one another, just as much as we take care of ourselves. Sometimes that looks like tucking ourselves away, and sometimes it looks like yesterday did. Yesterday was a gorgeous, get outside, enjoy some fresh air & sunshine, get a little bit spoiled kind of day. Both are necessary. We visited our favorite fancy restaurant- the place where we were engaged- which has recently reopened with modifications to protect the health guests and staff. Then, we made our way down to the harbor to take in some fresh sea air and walk along the docks, daydreaming of owning a beautiful boat.
It was fascinating to observe the contrast of these two public spaces and how one place felt clean and safe, while the other felt quite the opposite. The wide open space of the harbor was packed with people clustered together, very few people wearing masks, and fewer still making an effort to give space to others. It felt hostile and entitled. I would be lying if I said this wasn’t disappointing to see, because no matter how many times I see selfishness on display, I am always hopeful that people will choose the higher way of caring for one another.
And- we are still living in a time when the coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic is still very much present, and doesn’t give a hoot about how long we’ve been quarantined or how much we would like to go get our hair and nails done or how much we miss hanging out with groups of friends or that we would just really like to go sit inside a fancy restaurant and be served.
So how do we treat ourselves in such unprecedented times as these? We make the choice of maintaining a positive mindset and take the responsibility of caring for our physical safety. Whenever my husband and I do go out in public, and it is a rare occasion- we wear our masks & practice safe social distancing- including only visiting places that honor the safety of others. Our personal safety matters, and we are collectively responsible for making the world a safer place for all.
It is not such a hard thing to do, quite honestly. We would rather be mildly inconvenienced by wearing a mask in public spaces and avoiding hugs from loved ones for a few more months, than to risk contracting the virus (something that I as a person who is very much immuno-compromised right now cannot afford to tempt Fate with) or passing it along unknowingly to someone else. Taking care of one another extends beyond our immediate family. For us, temporarily sacrificing some of our individual comforts is preferable when doing so means securing a safer environment for all in our community- especially for the most vulnerable.
Personal responsibility + compassionate consideration for others = safety for all.
Had to take my mask off to eat lunch. First time at a restaurant since beginning of March! We dined al fresco, our server wore a full face shield, occupancy was dramatically reduced and tables were more than 6′ apart.
Caring for my body & soul while helping others to do the same is a huge component of my Transformational Positivity work.Work With Me
In my understanding of The 4 Pillars of Transformational Positivity, the First Pillar is Whole-Self Love, which is about understanding & healing our connection to the Self. This is tremendously important in its own right, and it is essential to do the work of Whole-Self Love for us to move forward successfully to the Second Pillar: Serving With Joy, which is all about our connection with community. (You can read about The First Pillar here if you missed it)
In this third part of the current series, we wrap up our look at the Second Pillar by understanding why serving with joy is directly tied to our connection with community.I believe that it is within the space of COMMUNITY that we learn how to best SERVE in our highest capacity and find true JOY in our soul’s purpose. (Please click here to read if you missedPart 1 or Part 2 of this series.)
Your Soul’s Purpose
Serving humanity from a place of deep Joy starts within your chosen community (online, in person, geographic neighborhood, professional, or common interest). You have a very special, unique, one-of-a-kind gift to share, one that can never be duplicated and one that only you can offer. That gift is You. You! Your story. Your passions. Your experiences. Your perspective. Your wisdom. Your voice. Your talents & hobbies. Your art. Your curiosity. Your discoveries. Your healing. Your peace. Your Past, Present, & Future. All of what makes up your personal journey, your own unique expression of Divinity in the flesh, is the whole point of coming to Earth and experiencing life as a human. Discovering, embracing, celebrating and sharing what makes you uniquely You- that IS your soul’s purpose. And the most beautiful thing? Once you realize that this precious, perfectly imperfect, one-of-a-kind life of yours IS your gift, you can stop wasting so much time and energy on the shit that doesn’t interest you and start connecting with your passion, your joy, your slice of heaven on earth and serving your community with it.
So, What Are You Passionate About?
Spending any amount of your time engaged in things that you are passionate about creates a wonderful sense of fulfillment and a layer of Joy to your life. But what if you’ve never had the time or opportunity to explore things that interest you, let alone spark the deep burning fire of passion?
If you’ve been feeling stuck for a long time and just can’t even begin to think about what you are passionate about, here are 3 of my favorite questions to jump-start your thoughts and maybe even rekindle a fire inside you. Take some time to journal on one or all of these prompts:
Name 3 highlight experiences in your life. What do they have in common? What does this tell you about yourself?
What did you dream about doing when you were a child? How does it feel to imagine yourself doing that now?
What are you most curious about right now?
That third question is probably my favorite because it takes the pressure off what can feel like the overwhelming “bigness” of trying to discover your passion. Especially true if you’re feeling depressed or find yourself using not knowing what you’re passionate about as a way to beat yourself up. Curiosity becomes a lifeline, a rope to pull you up, a trail of breadcrumbs to follow into a brighter, more hopeful frame of mind. Curiosity can lead you on a life-long path of discovery that will help you reveal more and more of what makes you so unique, what makes you the most happy, a path that opens up new friendships, support systems, and joyful connections to community.
If you recall from Part 2 of this series, I invited you to determine where the gaps are in your community. Now that you’ve started to explore the things that bring you the most Joy, ask yourself: Is this thing that I enjoy or am passionate about something that can help to serve my community? If the answer is Yes, then you are holding the missing puzzle piece. Bring your passions & interests forward and present them, filling in the gap in a way that only you can fill it. You may just look up and see a grateful new community unfolding around you.
In the first part of this article series, I wrote about the different types of community and invited you to identify what your current connections might look like. Then, I asked you to think about and make a list of the different communities you currently belong to. In order to begin to bridge the gaps in your community, you have to first look at your answers to the following questions:
How do I fit in to each space?
What are my roles in each space?
What are some of the ways that I contribute and serve in each space?
Are there any gifts, talents, ideas, strengths, or other resources that I can offer to better serve my community/ies?
Is there anything that I need that I am NOT getting from my community/ies?
Let’s take a closer look and break these down to see where you may be experiencing gaps:
1- How do I fit in?
After you’ve identified the different communities you are connected to, you will want to take a look at where you currently see yourself fitting in to each defined space. Are you newer to the group, or a veteran presence? Do you tend to be interactive and heavily involved, or more of an observer? Are you happy with how you fit in, or is there a more authentic and satisfying way that you would like to show up? Understanding where you are now is the first step in deciding if that’s where you want to remain.
2- What are my roles?
You’ve identified your communities, and you’ve recognized where you currently fit in. Narrowing down to define the different roles you play in each space is your next step. Where are you a Leader? Where are you a Colleague or Collaborator? Where are you a Supporter? Where are you a Student? Where are you a Contributor? Where are you an Enforcer? In any of these roles- how many of them feel right, good, comfortable, natural? Do any of them feel like they belong to someone else? Are there any of your current roles that you would like to let go of, or others that you would like to adopt? Understanding that you have some choice around the roles that you accept and reject can be liberating, and it can also require you to make some significant changes.
3- Ways that I AM serving and contributing
Make an honest and comprehensive list of all the ways that you currently serve and contribute to your different communities. [Note: Don’t censor yourself, and don’t discount or discredit anything as “too small” or insignificant.] What themes or patterns do you notice in the ways that you serve and contribute?
How do you feel when you review the different offerings that you’ve listed?
Are there ways that you are serving that don’t feel good to you, or that are draining you physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or financially?
Is there anything that you would like to offer your community that you currently are not?
4- Ways that I WANT to serve and contribute
Get Clear: What is it that you REALLY want to do? What is it that you really WANT to be known for? Now make a list of your gifts, talents, ideas, strengths, skills or other resources that you can offer to better serve your community.
Is there anything else that you need to help you move forward with what you want to offer or how you want to serve, such as additional training, a mentor, community buy-in or other types of support?
This is where it gets fun. Now is the part where you can take the information you’ve gathered and create a bridge-building plan! Knowing that it doesn’t have to be perfect before you get started, how can you begin to use what you already have to do the things that you actually want to do?
5- Unmet Needs
By going through this process, you begin to see clearly where there may be any gaps between where you are vs. where you want to be, what you are doing vs. what you want to be doing. This next step is critical for recognizing and honoring what you need vs. what you are getting.
Ask Yourself, without judgement: Is there anything that I need, want, desire, enjoy, like, or am curious about that I am NOT getting from any of my current community/ies?
Are any of the things you’ve just listed available to you in any of your current spaces? If YES, then what will you need to do to access them? If NO, then what communities do you need to connect to?
If you have unmet needs in your current group/s, chances are that you are NOT alone and that there are others in your area, space, neighborhood etc. that would love to connect with you. What would it look like for you to create and launch a new community?
The 2nd Pillar of Transformational Positivity is Serving With Joy, which is about how we find connection within community. Let’s start by taking a quick look at what “community” actually means beyond simply being a group of people. There are 4 basic types to consider:
Common Interest: Communities of people who share the same recreational interest or passion.
Action Based: Communities of people trying to bring about change.
Place/Circumstance: Communities of people brought together by geographic boundaries.
Professional/Practicing: Communities of people in the same profession.
These 4 basic categories are not mutually exclusive, and there can be overlap (Common Interest + Place/Circumstance, or Practicing + Action Based + Place/Circumstance, for example). You might find yourself in one or more of these communities at the same time, and it’s entirely possible that you’ll run into a few of the same people in some of the other circles that you frequent.
A Closer Look at Your Connections
The Second Pillar: SERVING WITH JOY [Key Area = Connection to Community] Which communities do you most identify with? What are some of the various roles you have played or are currently playing in your different communities? What do you need in order to feel like you are seen, heard, and a valued part of your community? How are you contributing? How are you receiving? Where are you serving with the most Joy?
“Community” includes all of the other humans we interact with outside of ourselves. Some of these relationships are knit closer to us than others- family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, colleagues. While other relationship threads are going to be much thinner and stretched over a greater distance, it is important to recognize that in the most basic sense we are all connected in some way. If we can understand that the First Pillar is about Who We Are, then we can recognize that the Second Pillar is about Why We Are Here.
Whenever clients come to me looking for guidance in this area, it’s typically because they are struggling to find meaningful ways to connect their “Why” in ways that feel in alignment with Who they are and the people in their communities. They feel unfulfilled because their is no reciprocal Joy that they are experiencing. I help them to look for opportunities that they may be missing, shifts in mindset, perspective, and/or actions that they can take to create more positive connections in their various communities.
Desire to belong to a community of our choosing is a natural part of our identity. As people, we are inherently social beings and are hard-wired for human connection, a part of our development as a species that dates back to prehistoric times and served as a marker for safety and survival. In modern times, even the most introverted people and rugged individuals still need some form of healthy human interaction, even if their community is just 1 other person.
The communities we belong to can serve to provide a sense of belonging, safety, normalcy, education, support, inspiration, camaraderie, entertainment, joy, healing, purpose, personal growth & positive transformation. These are all important aspects of our human experience that we actively seek out, share, and receive through participating in community.
Think about and make a list of the different communities you currently belong to (include in person and online groups, common interest groups, action based groups, geographic groups, professional groups, etc.). Ask Yourself:
How do I fit in to each space?
What are my roles in each space?
What are some of the ways that I contribute and serve in each space?
Are there any gifts, talents, ideas, strengths, or other resources that I can offer to better serve my community/ies?
Is there anything that I need that I am NOT getting from my community/ies?
Now, take a closer look at your answers to the above questions. Do you notice any gaps? Do any of your answers elicit an emotional or physical response in your body? Write them down, this is valuable information for you moving forward.
To discuss your answers with me privately and work on solutions, reach out to schedule a 1:1 coaching session.
Next Week: Tips for Bridging the Gaps in Your Community
TRANSFORMATIONAL POSITIVITY is a set of healing tools and positive practices used to form a framework for manifesting, experiencing, and supporting our Deep, Personal Transformation within these 4 key areas: Self, Community, Nature, and Spirit. Each of these 4 key areas is supported by it’s own pillar.
The 4 Pillars- in a nutshell
The 4 Pillars of Transformational Positivity represent the most important relationships of our human existence, with each one relating to and supporting one of the 4 key areas. The 4 key areas are Connection to Self, Connection to Community, Connection to Nature, and Connection to Divine Spirit.
The First Pillar: WHOLE-SELF LOVE
[Key Area = Connection to Self]Who are you? How do you see yourself? How do you talk to and about yourself? What makes you YOU? Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? How well do you take care of yourself? How do you relate to the body you live in? Do you know, understand, realize, accept, see, believe in who and what you really are at the core of your being?
Most of us get so tripped up in this first key area that we waste years, decades, lifetimes focusing the majority of our energy, attention, and hard-earned cash only on our physical appearance while neglecting to gain an intimate understanding, appreciation, and genuine Love for who we are inside, aka The Real Us. And/Or, we have to unpack so many layers of bad programming and painful lived experiences that the idea of “Self Love” seems like a bridge too far.
This is one of the first areas where many people meet me. Typically, they are looking for some Positivity tools & training to supplement the deeper healing work they are already doing with their therapist.
How Can I Help?
I’m not a therapist, or a psychologist, or a psychiatrist so I am not qualified to diagnose or treat any medical, mental, or emotional health issues. What I can do for my clients is provide additional support, spiritual guidance, and teach positive practices help assist in strengthening your relationship to Self.
[Key Area = Connection to Community]Which communities do you most identify with? What are some of the various roles you have played or are currently playing in your different communities? What do you need in order to feel like you are seen, heard, and a valued part of your community? How are you contributing? How are you receiving? Where are you serving with the most Joy?
“Community” includes all of the other humans we interact with outside of ourselves. Some of these relationships are knit closer to us than others- family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, colleagues. While other relationship threads are going to be much thinner and stretched over a greater distance, it is important to recognize that in the most basic sense we are all connected in some way.
If we can understand that the First Pillar is about Who We Are, then we can recognize that the Second Pillar is about Why We Are Here.
Whenever clients come to me looking for guidance in this area, it’s typically because they are struggling to find meaningful ways to connect in their communities. Their “Why” isn’t showing up in ways that feel in alignment with who they are and how they are seen by the people in their communities. They feel unfulfilled because their is no reciprocal Joy that they are experiencing.
How Do I Help?
I help my clients to look for opportunities that they may be missing. I guide them through shifts in their mindset to see a new perspective. We work on actions that they can take to create new, more positive connections in their various communities.
[Key Area = Connection to Nature]How do you most like to connect with Nature? Which of these natural settings makes you feel the most energized, relaxed, peaceful, or awestruck: Ocean, Mountains, Forest, Desert, Prairie? When was the last time you spent the night stargazing? Are you an animal lover? Tree hugger? Aspiring gardener? Rock-hound and crystal wearer? Where is your nearest green space, and how often do you visit?
The modern era that we live in with its many conveniences and high-level technology has in many ways caused us to dramatically disconnect from the natural world. On a global scale, the push for more more more shows that we have all but abandoned our stewardship of the earth and instead are continuing to consume her vast and varied resources at an unsustainable rate, wreaking havoc on ecosystems, pushing fragile and necessary plants and animals to extinction. Life does not simply begin and end with us; we are part of something much more and we all share a responsibility for the health of our planet.
When my clients are seeking help in this area, it’s typically because they have lost touch with ways to unplug from the daily grind.
[Key Area = Connecting with Spirit]What does your current connection to divinity look like? How does spirituality play out in your daily life? Where do you experience the Divine? Are you able to separate religion and doctrine from spiritual practices? If you could SEE your own Spirit, your life-force, your essence- how would you describe it? What does she/he/they look like? Do you know the guides and energies on your spiritual support team, your Spirit Council?
After all, we are so much more than just our physical flesh and blood, more than what we can see and touch;we are magnificent spiritual beings having a human experience. We ARE each an expression of divinity! This is especially powerful when you consider the positive characteristics that are commonly ascribed to the Divine:
love
joy
peace
creativity
transcendence
blessings
abundance
truth
eternal
holy
sacred
beauty
goodness
generosity
justice
mercy
powerful
liberation
sovereignty
knowledge
wisdom
healing
compassion
empathy
This is probably the most “woo woo” area that people find me to begin work together, and I FREAKING LOVE IT. This isn’t about rules and religion; this is about exploring the ultimate in healing energy. Connecting with Spirit allows us to have a deeper understanding of the divine traits within ourselves, so that we can embody and express them in our human experience.
We get to do this today, in this lifetime- not just in some faraway afterlife. Whether it is connecting with and sharing messages from your Spirit Council during a Spiritual Clarity Reading, or helping you to create more positive connections with the divinity within and around you, this is some of my favorite work of all.
How Do I Help?
I support your exploration of sacred and spiritual practices, and help you to develop your own intuition. I help my clients to differentiate the freedom of spirituality from religion.
Positivity improves our connections to self, to community, to nature, and to spirit. When any of these connections are weak, damaged, or removed we experience collapse in the relationship. Therefore, it is vital to the health of our relationship to each of these 4 key areas that we do the work of examining where we are at, where we want to be, and what if anything needs to change.
For some of us, it means doing some deeper work of healing old wounds, rewriting our old narratives, and learning how to do Life in a whole new way- or even just a slightly different, more empowered, satisfyingly positive way. One thing is for sure- we won’t be engaging in any toxic positivity. No spiritual bypassing. And definitely no gaslighting.
Wherever you may be on your journey, whatever level of awakening you are in, you can find guidance and support from me that will help you to cultivate Positivity in any or all of these 4 key areas of connection.
How To Get Started
Soul-Mirroring Session & 4 Pillars Assessment
The way we begin our Transformational Positivity work together is through a Soul-Mirroring Session. This is a 1:1, deep-look together in which we talk about where you are, what you want, and where you want to go.
I have an incredible gift of being able to truly see YOU, and will share what I see from a spiritual energy perspective. We will do a 4 Pillars Assessment and create a plan for ways that you can begin to cultivate & integrate Transformational Positivity in the area(s) of your choosing.
Hello Loves! I’ve been working on some awesome creative projects for the summer/fall, and over the weekend I came up against a gnarly block that put me on pause and required some extra effort in personal development, self care, and deep healing.
If you’re curious, here’s what my steps looked like:
1- Feel something unpleasant
2- Ask for help
3- Receive help
4- Accept help
5- Process unpleasantness
6- Heal a layer of self
Thank you, Friends, for sharing your beautiful, kind, funny and cheerful words when I most needed them. Please know how powerful your words and your compassion are! I encourage you to be generous with them and share freely with the people you care about.
Y’all know that I keep it real, and that means showing that even a little sparkly ray of sunshine like me gets covered in clouds now and then. And that It’s OK to not be perfect. It’s OK to be a little vulnerable. It’s OK to need and ask for support & validation. It’s OK to have a shit day, and it’s OK to trust in better days ahead- because they always do come.
Yesterday was a tough day for me, and seeing your responses was very much a lifeline. So uplifting and a wonderful reflection of Light when I was deeeeeep in my darkness. That’s the thing with what I call “Transformational Positivity”… sometimes it looks like being able to battle a nasty bout of depression by asking for what you need, and trusting that you actually will receive it. If you are struggling today, please reach out. You do not need to suffer alone; you are Loved, you are needed, and you matter more than you may ever fully understand.
Once I realized that I am not just “weird” but that in fact I am a Beautiful Weirdo, well honey everything else just fell into place around me.
I stopped trying to be anyone other than my own self, in all of my wonderful weirdness, because THAT is my special sauce.
I own my sky-high optimism, and my self-searching shadowy moments of fear & doubt. I shit rainbows and hold space for people in my faerie dust, covered in golden Light and wrapped in unstoppable, unbreakable Love. I believe in believing in you, in me, and in our own immeasurable power to create positive change within and all around us, no matter how hard or challenging the path forward may be.
So cheers to you, my Friend, if in reading this you might see a glimpse of yourself, too. You can totally sit at my table. Know that you are not alone. Know that you are allowed to shine your bright, beautiful, Weirdo light.
Here are 3 Ways that we can continue the conversation:
If you are discovering or awakening to your own “beautiful weirdness” I would LOVE to be part of your support team. My brand of Personal Empowerment Coaching may be a perfect fit for you! Schedule a free consultation call with me and let’s find out!
To book me for your next speaking opportunity, please click here. 💖🦋
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My lovely new neighborhood, in the process of being built. It speaks to me in this way: Even as I am building a beautiful new life for myself, so is my community also in this energetic space of building something new.
You- my people, my tribe, the amazing souls who get me and with whom I most deeply resonate – we are building new lives. We are creating our own next level. We are defining what matters most to us and we are designing a community that supports us. I SEE YOU, I Love You, and I am here to support You.
Click here for a 20-second video of the sneaky-awesome thing I did in our new home!
Every day, our lives involve a series of choices to be made from the moment we wake to the moment we drift off to sleep. Certainly, we must make many of these decisions based on or in reaction to the decisions of those around us, whether they are people within our household, the people in our workplace, or the strangers we pass on the road. But there is without fail one choice that always depends solely on us: The choice to be more Joyful.
“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” ~Henri J. M. Nouwen
Being joyful goes beyond the surface emotion of happiness, which while wonderfully fun to experience, is fleeting, temporary, and in direct relation to our circumstances at the moment. Happy comes and goes. Joy goes much deeper. It is a state of mind, a sense of contentment and peace that can co-exist with the more challenging and darker aspects we all face in our lives.
“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Joy is about seeking a spiritual connection to life itself and serves as more of an anchor for our souls during good times and bad. It isn’t easily shaken off, but like a strong tree planted in fertile soil, joy has the capacity to take root inside of us and grow despite adversity. Joy doesn’t slap a fake smile on your face and ignore or minimize the hard things you are dealing with, but instead Joy taps in to your deeper reserves of faith, strength and courage, and in turn blesses you with confidence and community.
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Today, I will choose Joy. I hope that you will too!
For additional resources, or to purchase my ebook The Blessings Butterfly please check out my Resources page.
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