Tag: empowered

New Moon, New Beginnings

Whew! Well Loves, this has been an interesting month, hey?

We’re entering the New Moon phase, which is all about rest, introspection, and new beginnings. It has me wondering:

•What does Rest look like for you right now?

What have you been learning about yourself in the past month?

What new beginnings are you preparing for?

I’ll start:
REST for me has been very much about allowing my body to recover from the first round of chemo. It’s looked like saying “No” or “Not Now” to everything that I can, instead of my usual recovering Type A habit of pushing myself through to the point of collapse. (Hello, that’s not healthy in any circumstance!)

INTROSPECTION has been teaching me some pretty cool things about myself. Qualities like resilience, courage, strength, joyfullness, creativity, and wisdom that I have tended to overlook or diminish for fear of “what people might think” because let’s be honest- being judged sucks, and… it’s going to happen anyway so you might as well be true to yourself.

NEW BEGINNINGS well hot damn, as corny and cheesy as it may sound every day really is a gift. I am grateful for each new day that I wake up alive in this body, and- I still sometimes have to remind myself this throughout the day. Today, for example, if things had gone to plan I would be in Australia for the start of an epic, around-the-world honeymoon with my gorgeous husband. Instead, I am writing from our dining room table for a change of scenery. It’s not quite the same! 😂 And, it’s still pretty fucking great.

Okay, your turn! Tell me what’s what in your world today. I miss you.

💖🙏🦋

Today instead of starting our around the world honeymoon in Sydney, Australia- I’m bald and writing from our dining room table in Southern California.
Saturday was my wedding day! The day that my hair began falling out by the handful from chemo. Barely enough to hold my veil in place!

Showing Up, Even When It Feels Scary

WHAT IF I JUST… SHOW UP 💖🦋

Amazingly beautiful and powerful shifts can take place within us whenever we begin to allow the magic within to come out of hiding and just… SHOW UP.

Yes- that means that you will need to be seen, be heard, be counted- and I know that even just reading these words can cause some feelings of panic, without even taking a single step!

I get it, showing up can sometimes feel really scary. I know this intimately! You may have a story inside you that includes a time when showing up somewhere caused you pain, or even a traumatic experience. Even if this is true for you, I still want to encourage you to SHOW UP whenever you sense that little glimmer of wanting to emerge from your hiding place, that opportunity to be seen and heard. There are ways for you to do this safely, supported by a strong and understanding community that doesn’t try to “fix” you- they just witness you and hold space for you.

The more that you allow yourself to show up, on your own terms and in your own way, the closer you get to reaching your goals, living your dreams, and conquering your fears of being seen. You get to take control and be the star of your life story, not play a minor role or resign yourself to the random twists of fate. You don’t have to have everything figured out first, and you don’t have to be perfect (not a real thing). Just… Show Up. Show up for yourself. Show up for your big dreams, your side hustle, and your day job. Show up for the souls bumping around throughout the world, crossing your path each day. Show up for every single lesson that Life is teaching you, and know that those of us here in your support circle are rooting for you and cheering you on.

The Bachelorette, Gaslighting, and True Love

Bachelorette Fans: Let’s Discuss 🌹

I think it’s pretty safe to say that we have all experienced (or have had someone close to us experience) falling for someone who is soooo not right for us. Someone who you are so attracted to, knowing full well that there’s just something “off” but you convince yourself that it’s not really a big deal, or justifiable, or somehow you can work through it together for Love. Someone who makes you second guess yourself, twist to conform, dumb down, or dim your light because it’s just too damn bright for them to handle.

I mean, I get it- I personally have given myself away to men like Luke P. in the past, seduced by the pretty packaging while blowing past all of the early red flags until it was too late to pull out of the relationship without a big mess.

In my 20’s -and even in my 30’s- I was so entangled in the drama that I lost myself, my voice, my power, and permanently damaged some friendships and family connections as a result. In more than one such relationship, it nearly cost me my life. The injuries I sustained were physical (some I still carry to this day), but also deeply wounding emotionally and eventually led me to seek professional guidance from a great therapist or two.

So, when I watch shows like The Bachelorette for fun and cheesiness, I can’t ignore the twisty feelings in my gut that come up when watching the Luke P. scenes. I recognize those feelings, because the truth is that our bodies hold our stories- for better or worse. We have a physical response that reflects our past traumatic experiences, reminding us that we don’t want to go through that shame and pain again.

One of the most important messages I can ever share, whether I am speaking to a room full of women, or a classroom of young people, or 1:1 in coaching sessions is this: You don’t have to change or hide your true self to earn true Love.

If you are stuck in a relationship (romantic or otherwise) where you don’t feel like you can really be yourself, I invite you to schedule a chat with me for some personal empowerment coaching. *And especially if you are in a situation that is not safe- call the domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233*

It’s Really NOT Personal: When You Find Yourself in the Middle of Someone Else’s Mess

Ohhhh my goodness! Have you ever found yourself swept up in the painful and confusing feeling that someone else’s mess [shit] is being personally directed at you?

I’ve seen this show up as people seemingly (or even actually) ignoring you, flaking out on their agreements, passive-aggressiveness, or even with rude/angry/abusive comments. Any or all of these things can be hurtful to you as an individual, and damaging to your relationship with the other person. So how do you find the positivity in situations like this?

1- You have to start by recognizing that this is their shit, not yours. They are showing up to the situation in their own shadowy behavior through no fault of your own.

2- And while they may or may not realize what they’re doing, it’s your responsibility to protect your own energy and your peace. So don’t be afraid to remove yourself from their negativity for as long as YOU need to.

3- Keep your own space clean by taking the time for some introspection. Notice what feelings and thoughts come up in you, and address them. Extend the other person grace, first in your own heart and from a distance if necessary. Wish them healing & peace, without trying to “fix” them (that’s not your job).

Questions or want to chat about this? Schedule a free 30 minute consultation with me and let’s see where Transformational Positivity can help.

A Look Inside Your Walls

BUILDING YOUR BEST LIFE: At the beginning of the weekend, my fiancé and I had our “open wall” walkthrough of the new house. This is the home as it looked on Friday morning, just prior to the next round of inspections. We met with our GC/Foreman and did a literal walk-through of the property, while the expert told us everything we could ever want to know about it. We were encouraged to ask questions, and found it fascinating to learn not only about the specific materials used, but why the builder is so particular about what goes into each home. It was a good feeling to be able to see behind the scenes and know that we are getting exactly what we want, without corners being cut or important steps being hidden. Fascinating! (No, really!)

So of course, it got me thinking: When we are building our own best life ever, how important is it to pause and check in with ourselves as the Master & Creator of our reality? How powerful is it for us to inspect our own internal “construction project” and see specifically What we are putting in, & Why it matters?

I love to help my clients see that we build the home that our souls live in every day, with every choice. It all matters. And you know what? You really do deserve to imagine, create, & build your own best life.

Schedule a free consultation call with me today to get started!

💖🦋 #theblessingsbutterfly #empowermentcoach #visualization #manifesting #buildingyourbestlife #newhome #personaldevelopment #writer #author #speaker #inspiration

Stretch Yourself

the blessings butterfly

Stretch Yourself!

Stretch the muscles in your body;

Stretch the limits of your imagination;

Yes Love, S t r e t c h   Y o u r s e l f, and see how far you can grow. Reach a little farther if you can.

Stretch the boundaries of all that you think is possible for you to achieve, and in so stretching you will elevate yourself out of your small space of comfort, where you can harness your furthest goals and ride your wildest dreams!

stretch yourself

 

Look Up, Look Around, Look Within

As you celebrate this coming Earth Day, remember to honor our wonderful earth and all its inhabitants. Send out your Healing Thoughts, meditate on Prayers for Peace, and be open to give and receive Unconditional Love from the deep and endless Source of all Life.

Look Up. Look Around. Look Within! All of the Beauty and Magick of the universe is waiting for your embrace today!

look up

#FridayFeels FLOW

FUN FACT: I’ve worked my whole life on addressing my control-freak tendencies, but for as far as I’ve come in releasing my Kung Fu grip there is always another life lesson for me in the art of letting shit go.

Even though I practice regular “clearing” it is amazing to me how much stuff I still manage to cling to… from trinkets and knick-knacks gathering dust to outdated beliefs that seek to hold me down.

Today, I encourage you to take a step forward with me in releasing, in allowing, in letting go. What is one area of your life where you can Relax and Let Life Flow?

My Plea on International Women’s Day

Today, March 8, is a day celebrated for more than a century now as International Women’s Day. In it’s earliest iteration, it was founded as “International Working Women’s Day” and was actually linked back to the American Socialist Party.  To be crystal clear, I am NOT a Socialist.  But I most definitely am a Woman, and I choose to support, elevate, empower and celebrate women around the world today and every day.
In 2017, I’m astonished that so many women in my own country and around the globe still lack equality and in so many parts of the world, basic human rights. Global politics and policies continue to separate and divide us, and it breaks my heart that so many of my sisters would rather tear each other apart over our differences than stand together to uplift and protect the most vulnerable among us. Instead of engaging in intelligent discussions to seek common ground, too many of us draw uncrossable lines in the social media sand fostered by religious and political divisiveness.  Too many of us take the stance that because we are not personally oppressed, it is foolishness that prompts those who protest another person’s felt struggle. Certainly, it is our right as free-born people to peacefully protest, and I completely respect the choice of those who do… and those who don’t.  Hey Girl, you do you.
But as for me:
As an incredibly privileged American born woman, I’m deeply grateful for the women who came before me and for their protests, marches, and tireless campaigns to educate and fight for the rights I enjoy today. I am clear that while much progress has been made, there is still much work to be done here and around the globe. As long as there remains such unbearable things as gender inequality, patriarchy, misogyny, domestic violence, rape culture, sex trafficking, ritual genital mutilation, child marriage, and honor killings, we must continue to bravely stand up and speak out for the most vulnerable among us.
 
I have been to many countries outside of the US. I’ve worked with many women over the years who don’t enjoy the same rights as I do. Not even close! As a result, I’ve raised funds, rallied and educated people here about many of the horrors women and girls still face daily- because once you’ve seen that kind of pain and oppression, you simply can’t unsee it. My compassion and empathy compels me to do whatever I can, whenever I can.
 
And while I cannot speak for the other women who choose to protest today (or any other day), I can tell you that this is exactly the reason I do proudly count myself among them. I will continue to speak out and stand up on behalf of women and girls globally and dedicate myself to advancing the rights of my sisters here, there, and everywhere. For me, it goes much farther and deeper than the political divisions and power grabs that taint the surface of any one event; it is that we must love every other human to the very best of our ability, and that sometimes means drawing attention to injustice suffered and doing whatever possible to address and correct it. On this, I believe, we surely agree.
Want to join my list of like-minded butterfly souls?

blonde, the blessings butterfly, head shot

When Things Go Sideways 

We all have those daysYou know the kind I’m talking about, right? The ones that you have carefully and thoughtfully planned out with a neat list of manageable tasks to check off, a few scheduled appointments, and some wonderful self-care all lined up. Ahhhh, heavenly!  Except… It all goes sideways. Someone gets sick. Meals get skipped. Self-care gets sabotaged. Deadlines get missed.  You find yourself going from blissed-out to pissed-off, and from boss on top of your game to curled up in fetal position under a blanket.

 

My last sideways day looked a little something like this:  The first appointment of the day was delayed by three hours, which then set off a falling-dominoes chain of events: rescheduling, scrambling, cancelling, more rescheduling, and a whole lot of stress.   Feelings of frustration and irritation slowly start boiling over, and lord help the next person to say something stupid/rude/insensitive to me (I’m looking at you, 3 hour late mansplaining contractor!)   GAHHH!
So what can you do to keep yourself from completely losing your shit when your day goes sideways?  Here’s my Top 3 Tips:

  1. Just Breathe 
  2. Get Over Yourself 
  3. Face Forward 

 

Just Breathe. Okay, right now is when you want to give yourself a quick time out and just take a few deep breaths.  We call these “cleansing breaths” for good reason, because slowing yourself down to pause and breathe is the quickest way to immediately diffuse a tense situation.  Changing the energy inside you will change the energy around you, clear your mind, and allow you to make a calm next step.  A few deep, relaxing breaths can shift you from a path that leads to blind rage, and instead put you back in control of the situation at hand.

 

Get Over Yourself. Yes, the situation is annoying and you wish it was different, but it’s not. It is what it is, so instead of jumping into victim mode, remove yourself from the equation for a few minutes to regain perspective. Remember that sometimes, shit just happens and nobody is immune to it.  See this series of events as an opportunity to let go of things you can’t control, and learn new healthy ways to cope with disappointment, frustration, or anxiety.


Face Forward.  No matter how derailed your day may have been, it is all going to be OK.  You can remind yourself that you’ve been through tough days before, and just like you made it through the last time you are going to make it through this one too.  You may need to course-correct. You may need to learn a few new things. You may have a cool battle scar at the end of this one, but dammit, you surely aren’t done yet missy!  Your life is not linear, it’s a winding journey and this is just another part of the scenery. Keep moving forward.

the blessings butterfly

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