Tag: hope

Amazed and Grateful

OMG. She’s almost ready! We took another sneak peek yesterday of our house and so much more has been done. The sweet brick motor court is completed. Exterior is 95%. And inside, oh, my… I cannot wait to share what’s going on inside. It’s Beautiful.

——

I am so very grateful for the life I have, and the Joy that I am a co-creatrix of. In my 20’s, my life was such a story of pain and struggle and desperately seeking to escape my suffering. It was a broken heart and a battered body. It was fear and fight. It was a wish for someone to save me, and it was a wish for something better. Little could I imagine then that Love and the power to change EVERYTHING was not external, but waiting to be discovered inside of me. I promise, it’s also inside of you.

💖🦋 #theblessingsbutterfly #firstthoughts #buildingyourbestlife #inspiration #thereishope #loveyourselffree #selfloveheals #writer #author #speaker

Amazed and Grateful

OMG. She’s almost ready! We took another sneak peek yesterday of our house and so much more has been done. The sweet brick motor court is completed. Exterior is 95%. And inside, oh, my… I cannot wait to share what’s going on inside. It’s Beautiful.

——

I am so very grateful for the life I have, and the Joy that I am a co-creatrix of. In my 20’s, my life was such a story of pain and struggle and desperately seeking to escape my suffering. It was a broken heart and a battered body. It was fear and fight. It was a wish for someone to save me, and it was a wish for something better. Little could I imagine then that Love and the power to change EVERYTHING was not external, but waiting to be discovered inside of me. I promise, it’s also inside of you.

💖🦋 #theblessingsbutterfly #firstthoughts #buildingyourbestlife #inspiration #thereishope #loveyourselffree #selfloveheals #writer #author #speaker

Inspiration: 3rd Time’s a Charm

OMG, it’s still there! And it’s really beautiful. And it’s totally distracting, lol! I must look down at my ring 1000x a day. I love it though and Here’s the thing:

SHOCKER- I’ve been engaged twice before. Never married, just engaged to be. The first engagement was to my baby daddy and it was a million years ago and it was horrible. Grateful that we did not marry is such an understatement; grateful to have left that relationship with my life.

The second one was a considerably better relationship, but not without serious flaws and a cracked foundation as well. It ended with a broken engagement, some painful attempts to keep dating each other, and finally me finding the courage to let him go.

I spent the next decade plus figuring out who I am, what I want, and how I can give/receive Love in a way that is beautiful and healthy and whole and complete.

So, to be in this place again and NOT feel like I want to throw up and/or run away is pretty damn incredible. To be in this place and feel nothing but Love and Joy and Gratitude and Peace, to finally feel worthy of this, is beyond remarkable; it’s an amazing gift, and it’s the reality that I co-created. This is my life, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it. All of it!

#theblessingsbutterfly #powerofpositivity #youcanchangeyourlife #empowermentcoach #healing #love #selflove #youareworthy

#MondayMantra Seek the Best

Even as I write this, I am dealing with a personal situation that is seriously trying my patience and causing me to question the motives of the other parties involved. It is disappointing and disheartening, but I will still hold on to hope because I believe it is a misunderstanding. I will still offer space for the people involved to make things right- because in so doing, it allows them to rise to the occasion. 

Hoping and activating for the best outcome also keeps me from becoming bitter and cynical. However this one plays out, it is teaching me to be more loving and patient and inviting me to lean into my support team, too.

Whenever you are faced with a trying situation (that doesn’t threaten your safety) this powerful mantra can help you too: “I will keep seeking the best in people, so that we can rise together.”

What Do We Do Now? Heal and Rebuild 

butterfly on rocks

In the wake of any disaster, whether natural or man made, the most immediate need is the lifesaving work of the first responder. Assess the situation, bring relief, create safety.  Rebuilding and healing for individuals and communities comes later.

 

[Disaster Strikes] During the national election results on Tuesday November 8, I was a complete wreck and in so much shock. Disbelief. Total meltdown. The truth is that the bubble I had unknowingly created for myself had been burst, and I was left feeling frightened, betrayed, raw, and very, very vulnerable. The reason I didn’t realize I had created a bubble around myself is that I have many, many friends with opposing viewpoints and political leanings. I have never hidden the fact that I am of a more liberal and progressive POV, and I don’t begrudge my more conservative leaning friends for their politics. We respectfully don’t agree on many things. I love that diversity of thought!  Still, when it was clear that my candidate of choice was getting kicked hard in the pantsuit, I felt a profound sense of sadness, and a palpable fear for what might come next.  I had an overwhelming feeling of panic beginning to set in because based on the racist, homophobic, sexist images I had seen throughout the campaign  I was automatically equating a vote for Trump as a vote for hate.  My heart was broken seeing the map turn blood red, thinking, “this cannot be true; we cannot be this hateful as a nation.”   That, to me, felt like a disaster of epic proportions.

 

[First Responder] Over the next 48 hours, I reached out through my social media platforms to offer a small light of hope to anyone needing it.  Letting people know they aren’t alone. Letting myself know I am not alone!  I reached out, and began pouring more of my energy into sending love & hope & healing to those feeling the same sense of loss, fear, hopelessness. I isolated myself for a good while between “hope breaks” and just let myself be sad.  I stretched, walked, prayed. I let myself cry hard (I mean full on ugly cry) whenever possible. I chose to keep my social media interaction minimal, and quickly diverted away from anyone being ugly (gloating, condescending, rude). My goal was just to stay in touch, show compassion, and create safe havens wherever possible.

 

the blessings butterfly

[Healing & Rebuilding]  Now is when the real hard work begins: healing and rebuilding. Spending so much of my time online is a big part of my job, but I can still choose how and where to put my energy.  I am always most interested in creating and fostering compassionate community, so that’s what I will continue to do.  I was totally shocked when my bubble burst, mostly because I had no idea I was even IN a bubble.  I need to acknowledge and own up for my part in this so that I never allow it to happen again.  I want to stay close to the people I am most comfortable with, but not at the exclusion of people with a different POV.  I value differences of opinion and experience, and I will always welcome dialogue that is entered into with a spirit of mutual respect. 

 

This is where shit gets real.

  • I am actively seeking answers from those I care most about who voted differently than I did by creating safe spaces and times for us to dialogue.
  • I am making the time and lovingly listening to their fears & frustration.
  • I am choosing compassion for them and expecting the same in return because I am already in a valued relationship with them.
  • I’m purposefully not sharing divisive memes, stories or articles. If someone on my timeline does, I won’t hide them. I will either reach out to them privately if I feel it can open dialogue, or keep on scrolling.
  • I won’t entertain anyone just acting like an asshole though, and I will call out hate speech, racism, sexism, xenophobia, elitism, and homophobia each and every time.
  • I am sharing tools and resources that offer help, hope, healing, love, compassion.

 

[ctt template=”5″ link=”VSWrO” via=”yes” ]We each need to go beyond the vitriol and rhetoric, the sound bites and screenshots and memes. I want us to see the humanity in each other @Blsng_Butterfly[/ctt]

I believe our biggest need now is to connect with each other and understand wtf actually happened, how, and why. We each need to go beyond the vitriol and rhetoric, the sound bites and screenshots and memes.  I want us to see the humanity in each other, and I will work passionately for that outcome.

 

<3 My Tribe <3  Certainly, the people who I vibe most closely with, folks who energize and excite and empower me, these are the people I want around me and who I will to look to for inspiration.  But I can’t claim to be well-informed if I am only listening to the voices, ideas, views and opinions of those whom I easily agree with.  It does nobody any good to exist in an echo chamber.  I’m deciding now how to move forward together with those I can, build bridges for those with different views, and position myself more clearly as a voice of empowerment & hope.

 

Would you like to join my private email list? It’s where I share awesomeness with my tribe of wild & beautiful butterfly souls.

 

the blessings butterfly

#FridayFeels Sad, But Hopeful

If you are feeling sad today, like so many of us are- know that it’s OK. You are allowed to feel what you feel, and though I wish everyone would honor and respect your feelings- they won’t, so you have to.

Feelings are primal. They are common to all, but show up in us individually at different times and with different prompting. They are real, and powerful, and valid. So feel whatever it is that YOU feel- and in kind, allow others their feelings though they differ from your own. It’s OK.

For me, there is a lot of sadness (among other things) but there is ultimately, beautifully, empowering Hope. And if I can give you something to hope for, however small, take heart: today is a new day, and the power for change and healing is in your hands. Love you. ❤️

Would you like to join my private email list? It’s where I share awesomeness with my tribe of wild & beautiful butterfly souls.

 

Together, We Must Move Forward 

i voted

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

Today, half of my country is celebrating.  Or if they are not actually celebrating, they are at least relieved that their candidate won.  They feel that their voice was heard.  If you are among the people in this category, I do offer my congratulations and send my love.

Today, half of my country is devastated.  As I watched in shock and complete disbelief last night, I felt so much sadness and pain for the sharp division.  And in many ways, the world around us is kinda freaking out.  So many questions. So much anxiety. All of the really, really hard feelings are on full display: Confusion, Fear, Anger, Hate, Apathy, Disbelief, Sadness, Shock, Exhaustion.  It’s a lot to take in, and for many of us the pain is unbearable.  But bear it we must.

 

 

[ctt template=”2″ link=”_Jbau” via=”yes” nofollow=”yes”]We must also recognize that there is still Hope, always Hope, and it is in Hope that we can see the way forward. @Blsng_Butterfly[/ctt]

We must also recognize that there is still Hope, always Hope, and it is in Hope that we can see the way forward. It is in Hope that we can begin the process of rebuilding a country so clearly divided, and it is in Hope that we can do the real work of loving each other back to wholeness despite our differences. 

 

To those who are hurting, frightened, saddened and disappointed:  I want to tell you that it is OK to feel whatever you are feeling. I want to tell you that you are not alone. I want to wrap you in a warm, gentle hug and kiss the top of your head and tell you that I love you. You are Safe. This is still your home. Your voice still matters, maybe now more than ever before. I am still here, and I believe in you, and I Love You. We are all going to be OK.

 

 

And to the other half of my country, I want to hug you too. I want to wrap you in Love and I want to sit down to tea or wine or margaritas with you and I want to listen and I want to understand what the message is that you sent to me, to our country, and to the world with your vote yesterday.  I want you to know that I don’t hate you for using your voice.  I want you to know that we can still move forward together.


I don’t want any more name calling, I don’t want any more fighting, I want to understand what you think is so broken and wrong with America that you voted to “make America great again.”  I want it to be great too! Truly. And though we have different ideas of what that means, what that looks like, and what should happen next-I want to move forward, always forward, and I have to believe that the only way that there is a chance of this happening is if we put down our fists and work together.

 

I’m here. I’m not running away, I’m not hiding.  I’m sure as hell not going to be silent. Now more than ever, I’m sending Light and Love and Hope to all beings, to my family, friends, neighbors, strangers, aliens, the powerful, the weak, the broken, the frightened, the voiceless, me, & you.  There are no Others, there is only Us. We are ONE and we belong to each other. I am willing to move forward together. Can we do this? Can we love each other more bravely than ever before?

[ctt template=”2″ link=”37uZT” via=”no” ]There are no Others, there is only Us. We are ONE and we belong to each other. I am willing to move forward together. Can we do this? Can we love each other more bravely than ever before?[/ctt]

 

Would you like to join my private email list? It’s where I share awesomeness with my tribe of wild & beautiful butterfly souls.

 

How I Became The Blessings Butterfly, Pt. 3: Finding My Purpose

the blessings butterfly

How My Most Desperate Prayer Was Answered

When I had finally reached my true rock bottom, I had reached a place of complete and total surrender.  At the young age of 29, I just wanted everything to end. I was done with life and the mess I had made of it seemed impossible to redeem.

There, in my most broken moment, God/Spirit/My Higher Power answered my most desperate prayer to “take my life and recycle my soul.”

When my childhood friend Robert called my parents’ house late that night, he had no idea what I was about to do. He had no idea that I had just swallowed a handful of pills and was on my way out the door to die quietly, out of sight.  He didn’t know that somehow, miraculously, the God that he had come to have faith in was going to use him to save me that night.  But that’s exactly what happened.

 

Catalina Island + Jesus Freaks

A few days later, instead of being dead, I would be off on a boat to Catalina Island for a camping trip with a group of college-aged men and women who also happened to be a bunch of total Jesus Freaks (I say that in love!), and their leader, my friend Robert. Robert, the squirrelly boy who grew up across the street from me. Robert, who had found a higher calling and become a youth pastor at a local church.  Robert, who unknowingly saved my damn life with one phone call.

It wasn’t my first experience with church, or camp, or church-camp. I had attended Sunday School and mid-week Bible studies, retreats, and the like throughout my childhood and high school, so the concept wasn’t new to me. I had already heard all the Bible stories and I had gone forward about a million times during peer-pressure soaked alter calls. Hell, I had even been baptized and “born again” a few times.  This time, however, something (everything?) was different.

There wasn’t any kind of emotional formula or scare tactics involved, no pressure to “come forward and accept JESUS” or anything like that.  Nobody carrying giant yellow signs telling me that I was going to Hell.  Actually, the people I met on that trip were just… nice. And they were so genuine.  You know that saying, “Sweating like a whore in church?”  These people weren’t about trying to judge me, and they weren’t trying to get in my pants.  It was just nice, and normal, and casual, and dare I say- it was fun.  It was peaceful.  And the most significant difference is that there was just a presence this time that I had never quite understood before, and I began for the first time in my life to experience a sense of deep, deep love in my soul that this presence was somehow tapping into and calling to life.

I know, I know.  It sounds crazy-pants. 

No, I was not high.

Yes, it kinda freaked me out… but I decided eh, what the hell, I’m just going to go ahead and see what this is all about.  And I am so grateful that I did!

It was on that camping trip that I began to discover that what I understood as God- however you may understand this divine presence– is beautifully real, and exists within every living thing.  And holy crap, for the first time ever, I could actually feel this divine presence living in me.  Me!

 

Seeking the Divine & Skipping Church

I would spend the next 15+ years seeking after the Divine and going through some intense and powerful emotional healing.  I began dealing with the many scars and fears I harbored inside myself, slowly and very deliberately allowing Divine Love to bring all of my funky junk to the surface, without fear or judgment or shame.  I learned how to soften, and I learned how to forgive.  I learned what it meant to be blessed, and express gratitude.  To see beauty all around me.  To see goodness in people, and in myself, again.  I learned about strength and trust and hope and joy.  And although I would still make plenty of mistakes along the way, I didn’t have to run away anymore.  I didn’t have to hide anymore.  I could just do the work, and find a new purpose for my life.

I don’t “go to church” anymore, and that’s perfectly fine for me. I consider the whole world as a sacred place, and I consider my ministry or my purpose to extend far beyond any man-made walls or theological boundaries. I like to think of those years of healing as my own personal cocoon where I was being infused with Divine Love in every part of my being, and I was slowly transforming into someone completely new, and dramatically different, and impossibly free. Maybe, if this divine presence could exist in someone like me, I could have the chance for a do-over.  Maybe I wasn’t beyond repair after all.  Maybe, I could begin to pick up the pieces of my broken shit-show life and start to make something useful, something helpful, something beautiful out of it.  I’ll take a Maybe any day, because Maybe = Hope, and Hope = Everything.

 

The Blessings Butterfly today!
The Blessings Butterfly today!

 

Click here if you missed Part 1 or Part 2

#FridayFeels: Be the Light

In a world that seems to be going crazy, now more than ever we need to shine a bright light of hope.

Hope for better days. Hope for peaceful resolutions. Hope for justice. Hope for goodness, civility, and understanding to be valued and upheld. 

With Hope, we can become the Hero that our childhood self needed, and still needs today. With Hope, we can overcome the ugliest evils of hatred, ignorance and apathy by bringing them to light. With Hope, we can rise up in Love and Light and Strength that shines brightly.  

Remember this: Darkness is only overcome by Light. Today, be the Light!

Dreamer

My parents [rest in peace <3] always reminded me that I’m a Dreamer.  Sometimes it was said as a compliment, but not usually.  I didn’t care, because I always knew it to be true and never saw it as a negative quality.

I think it’s part of my magic.

In the wake of the most recent acts of terrorism and the following waves of hatred, fear, intolerance and increased ethnocentrism around the globe- I have to Dream.

I have to Dream of a better world.

I have to Dream of people from all walks of life, just living day by day in peace.

I have to Dream of creating moments of Love, of Light, of Beauty, of Hope and sharing them.

I have to Dream of what it would look like if I could make one person pause and smile, and if that person did the same, and so on and on until the smile stretched and went around the World and wrapped her in a warm embrace.

Yes, I am a Dreamer, but I am also a Doer.

I will do my part in making this a more beautiful, magical, loving world today, and I invite you to join me.  Create a world of peace within yourself. Be a little more patient, a little less rushed.  Share your smile, and let kindness shine through your eyes. Take the time to  p a u s e  and actually look at the people you interact with today.  Imagine they are carrying a giant weight on their shoulders that no one else can see.  Dream.

imagine