Tag: positive

New Moon, New Beginnings

Whew! Well Loves, this has been an interesting month, hey?

We’re entering the New Moon phase, which is all about rest, introspection, and new beginnings. It has me wondering:

•What does Rest look like for you right now?

What have you been learning about yourself in the past month?

What new beginnings are you preparing for?

I’ll start:
REST for me has been very much about allowing my body to recover from the first round of chemo. It’s looked like saying “No” or “Not Now” to everything that I can, instead of my usual recovering Type A habit of pushing myself through to the point of collapse. (Hello, that’s not healthy in any circumstance!)

INTROSPECTION has been teaching me some pretty cool things about myself. Qualities like resilience, courage, strength, joyfullness, creativity, and wisdom that I have tended to overlook or diminish for fear of “what people might think” because let’s be honest- being judged sucks, and… it’s going to happen anyway so you might as well be true to yourself.

NEW BEGINNINGS well hot damn, as corny and cheesy as it may sound every day really is a gift. I am grateful for each new day that I wake up alive in this body, and- I still sometimes have to remind myself this throughout the day. Today, for example, if things had gone to plan I would be in Australia for the start of an epic, around-the-world honeymoon with my gorgeous husband. Instead, I am writing from our dining room table for a change of scenery. It’s not quite the same! 😂 And, it’s still pretty fucking great.

Okay, your turn! Tell me what’s what in your world today. I miss you.

💖🙏🦋

Today instead of starting our around the world honeymoon in Sydney, Australia- I’m bald and writing from our dining room table in Southern California.
Saturday was my wedding day! The day that my hair began falling out by the handful from chemo. Barely enough to hold my veil in place!

Whole Self Love: a new series

WHOLE SELF LOVE: a new series

Oh, Honey- I have some things to say about this little #frenemy right here. It’s been a hot minute since I have shared much publicly about my physical body, and here’s why:

  • Dieting Sucks
  • Talking about dieting is capital B BORING
  • Diet Culture is toxicAF
  • The number on the scale does not determine (nor can it ever measure) my worth

I know this to be True. You probably do as well! (And yet…)

It’s why, for the past 4-5 years, I have made it my personal mission to learn how to Love the body I live in, every damn day. Regardless of my clothing size, weigh-in numbers, age, shape, wrinkles, lumps, flab, rolls, freckles, muscles, strength, etc ad nauseum. I’ve been helped tremendously on my body-positive journey by trailblazers like Jessamyn Stanley (@mynameisjessamyn), Amber Karnes (@amberkarnesofficial), Dianne Bondy (@diannebondyyoga) and most recently Tiana Dodson (@onebeautifulyes) who are all amazing and beautiful.

So, I pose these questions: What if Loving your Whole Self meant loving your entire body? What would it take for you to Love all your parts and welcome them into your Wholeness?

I’m practicing Radical Self Love & normalizing fat bodies, even as I continue to shed some weight & heal what’s hurting inside. I even have been taking a series of rather societally unflattering selfies as part of my whole-self Love medicine and posting them on my Instagram stories. (It feels insanely liberating, btw) I knew that I couldn’t begin to address my health issues without first being willing to really, REALLY Love all of me. Including the parts that weren’t as pretty, the parts that hurt, and the parts that were breaking down.

As of this writing, it’s been 3 weeks since I began a total shift in my relationships with food & exercise. With the help of an interactive app/virtual program I am not just learning about healthier ways to eat and move and less psychologically & emotionally damaging ways to think about those things, but I’m integrating these new habits every damn day that are supporting my whole self. I won’t lie, it’s been some hard word (first week was the worst) but through the effort I am putting in and the support received, I’ve seen and felt some pretty spectacular results, including my first 10+ lbs. shed; increased endurance; a dramatic reduction in pain in my back, knees, and feet; increased strength; no more chest pain or wheezing; no more bloating or food hangovers; fewer mood swings & more sustained energy; improved sleep and almost no more snoring.  All of this Love being poured into my body is coming back to me in these very tangible ways, and I am truly grateful. I am excited to see how much more my body and I can do.

More of this story to come, stay tuned!

Getting My Sexy Back

UPDATE: Since writing this entry in August 2019, I have developed a much healthier & more positive relationship with food, eating, exercise, and caring for my body in general. During the course of my program, I shed over 40 lbs.* (at an average of -2 lbs per week) and watched in amazement as my body composition began to change. I felt such pride at being able to go through my daily activities without feeling exhausted, and I have been delighted to have more physical activity, strength, and endurance become a natural part of my life. More incredibly, I have experienced the release of long-held pain in my body, specifically in my feet, knees, back and chest; released long-held beliefs about my worth being tied to my appearance; and released long-held habits of self-destructive thoughts & actions.

By coupling my mindset work with a refreshed self-care plan, I have discovered JOY in moving my body again, and I have developed a kind of confidence, acceptance and deep Love for the body that I have- lumps, bumps, folds, wrinkles, spots, flabby bits and all. How freeing to realize that I don’t need to look like a Victoria’s Secret model to feel sexy, beautiful, comfortable in my skin (things I never felt when I was an actual lingerie and bikini model).

It is my sincere hope and belief that I will continue to take good care of myself by using the tools that I’ve learned and keep learning. I have a great support system now to lean on when I need to, and I have empowered myself to be in charge of taking care of my Whole-Self… body, mind, and soul.

*No matter how much I stress that the size of my body is not that important, and no matter how much I believe and teach that you don’t have to lose weight before you can love your body- people are still always fascinated by my weight loss and ask me, “How did you do it?” So here it is: I signed up for Noom. If you would like to try their program for yourself, you can click here to use my affiliate link and get yourself 20% off.

Summertime Self-Care Tips

Summertime Self-Care Tips 💖🦋

Do you have a more relaxed work schedule during the summer months? I was so grateful today for the flexibility to go enjoy some “beauty maintenance” (lash fill & mani-pedi!) before joining my sweetheart’s office dinner party tonight.

Self-care is so much deeper than a spa day; it’s really about taking the time to restore what’s on your inside. So, what if you can’t take a day off or even a few hours? Peace and restoration can be had with a quick reset. Give yourself 5, 10, 15 or even 30 mindful minutes to breathe deeply, think some pleasant thoughts, have a power nap, do some stretching/yoga poses, write about one thing you’re grateful for, drink some water, or just sit quietly & eat something nourishing.

Set aside those stressful thoughts for a little while, and give yourself a much-needed break! You’ll come back refreshed and ready to go!

💖🦋

Showing Up, Even When It Feels Scary

WHAT IF I JUST… SHOW UP 💖🦋

Amazingly beautiful and powerful shifts can take place within us whenever we begin to allow the magic within to come out of hiding and just… SHOW UP.

Yes- that means that you will need to be seen, be heard, be counted- and I know that even just reading these words can cause some feelings of panic, without even taking a single step!

I get it, showing up can sometimes feel really scary. I know this intimately! You may have a story inside you that includes a time when showing up somewhere caused you pain, or even a traumatic experience. Even if this is true for you, I still want to encourage you to SHOW UP whenever you sense that little glimmer of wanting to emerge from your hiding place, that opportunity to be seen and heard. There are ways for you to do this safely, supported by a strong and understanding community that doesn’t try to “fix” you- they just witness you and hold space for you.

The more that you allow yourself to show up, on your own terms and in your own way, the closer you get to reaching your goals, living your dreams, and conquering your fears of being seen. You get to take control and be the star of your life story, not play a minor role or resign yourself to the random twists of fate. You don’t have to have everything figured out first, and you don’t have to be perfect (not a real thing). Just… Show Up. Show up for yourself. Show up for your big dreams, your side hustle, and your day job. Show up for the souls bumping around throughout the world, crossing your path each day. Show up for every single lesson that Life is teaching you, and know that those of us here in your support circle are rooting for you and cheering you on.

The Bachelorette, Gaslighting, and True Love

Bachelorette Fans: Let’s Discuss 🌹

I think it’s pretty safe to say that we have all experienced (or have had someone close to us experience) falling for someone who is soooo not right for us. Someone who you are so attracted to, knowing full well that there’s just something “off” but you convince yourself that it’s not really a big deal, or justifiable, or somehow you can work through it together for Love. Someone who makes you second guess yourself, twist to conform, dumb down, or dim your light because it’s just too damn bright for them to handle.

I mean, I get it- I personally have given myself away to men like Luke P. in the past, seduced by the pretty packaging while blowing past all of the early red flags until it was too late to pull out of the relationship without a big mess.

In my 20’s -and even in my 30’s- I was so entangled in the drama that I lost myself, my voice, my power, and permanently damaged some friendships and family connections as a result. In more than one such relationship, it nearly cost me my life. The injuries I sustained were physical (some I still carry to this day), but also deeply wounding emotionally and eventually led me to seek professional guidance from a great therapist or two.

So, when I watch shows like The Bachelorette for fun and cheesiness, I can’t ignore the twisty feelings in my gut that come up when watching the Luke P. scenes. I recognize those feelings, because the truth is that our bodies hold our stories- for better or worse. We have a physical response that reflects our past traumatic experiences, reminding us that we don’t want to go through that shame and pain again.

One of the most important messages I can ever share, whether I am speaking to a room full of women, or a classroom of young people, or 1:1 in coaching sessions is this: You don’t have to change or hide your true self to earn true Love.

If you are stuck in a relationship (romantic or otherwise) where you don’t feel like you can really be yourself, I invite you to schedule a chat with me for some personal empowerment coaching. *And especially if you are in a situation that is not safe- call the domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233*

It’s Really NOT Personal: When You Find Yourself in the Middle of Someone Else’s Mess

Ohhhh my goodness! Have you ever found yourself swept up in the painful and confusing feeling that someone else’s mess [shit] is being personally directed at you?

I’ve seen this show up as people seemingly (or even actually) ignoring you, flaking out on their agreements, passive-aggressiveness, or even with rude/angry/abusive comments. Any or all of these things can be hurtful to you as an individual, and damaging to your relationship with the other person. So how do you find the positivity in situations like this?

1- You have to start by recognizing that this is their shit, not yours. They are showing up to the situation in their own shadowy behavior through no fault of your own.

2- And while they may or may not realize what they’re doing, it’s your responsibility to protect your own energy and your peace. So don’t be afraid to remove yourself from their negativity for as long as YOU need to.

3- Keep your own space clean by taking the time for some introspection. Notice what feelings and thoughts come up in you, and address them. Extend the other person grace, first in your own heart and from a distance if necessary. Wish them healing & peace, without trying to “fix” them (that’s not your job).

Questions or want to chat about this? Schedule a free 30 minute consultation with me and let’s see where Transformational Positivity can help.

Amazed and Grateful

OMG. She’s almost ready! We took another sneak peek yesterday of our house and so much more has been done. The sweet brick motor court is completed. Exterior is 95%. And inside, oh, my… I cannot wait to share what’s going on inside. It’s Beautiful.

——

I am so very grateful for the life I have, and the Joy that I am a co-creatrix of. In my 20’s, my life was such a story of pain and struggle and desperately seeking to escape my suffering. It was a broken heart and a battered body. It was fear and fight. It was a wish for someone to save me, and it was a wish for something better. Little could I imagine then that Love and the power to change EVERYTHING was not external, but waiting to be discovered inside of me. I promise, it’s also inside of you.

💖🦋 #theblessingsbutterfly #firstthoughts #buildingyourbestlife #inspiration #thereishope #loveyourselffree #selfloveheals #writer #author #speaker

Amazed and Grateful

OMG. She’s almost ready! We took another sneak peek yesterday of our house and so much more has been done. The sweet brick motor court is completed. Exterior is 95%. And inside, oh, my… I cannot wait to share what’s going on inside. It’s Beautiful.

——

I am so very grateful for the life I have, and the Joy that I am a co-creatrix of. In my 20’s, my life was such a story of pain and struggle and desperately seeking to escape my suffering. It was a broken heart and a battered body. It was fear and fight. It was a wish for someone to save me, and it was a wish for something better. Little could I imagine then that Love and the power to change EVERYTHING was not external, but waiting to be discovered inside of me. I promise, it’s also inside of you.

💖🦋 #theblessingsbutterfly #firstthoughts #buildingyourbestlife #inspiration #thereishope #loveyourselffree #selfloveheals #writer #author #speaker

A Look Inside Your Walls

BUILDING YOUR BEST LIFE: At the beginning of the weekend, my fiancé and I had our “open wall” walkthrough of the new house. This is the home as it looked on Friday morning, just prior to the next round of inspections. We met with our GC/Foreman and did a literal walk-through of the property, while the expert told us everything we could ever want to know about it. We were encouraged to ask questions, and found it fascinating to learn not only about the specific materials used, but why the builder is so particular about what goes into each home. It was a good feeling to be able to see behind the scenes and know that we are getting exactly what we want, without corners being cut or important steps being hidden. Fascinating! (No, really!)

So of course, it got me thinking: When we are building our own best life ever, how important is it to pause and check in with ourselves as the Master & Creator of our reality? How powerful is it for us to inspect our own internal “construction project” and see specifically What we are putting in, & Why it matters?

I love to help my clients see that we build the home that our souls live in every day, with every choice. It all matters. And you know what? You really do deserve to imagine, create, & build your own best life.

Schedule a free consultation call with me today to get started!

💖🦋 #theblessingsbutterfly #empowermentcoach #visualization #manifesting #buildingyourbestlife #newhome #personaldevelopment #writer #author #speaker #inspiration

Thoughts on Healing in the Aftermath

True Confession: Last night, I handled my heartbreak in the most awesomely adult way possible. I curled up on the bed in a fortress made of stuffed toy animals and just sat with my sad feelings for a while. Inside my soft, safe, quiet space I cried for the victims of yet another senseless terror attack. I cried for the unrelated loss of yet another cultural icon and music legend. I cried for the divide among people around the world who are more interested in defending their positions than in engaging in helpful dialogue to address our very real problems. After letting myself feel the full weight of the world’s pain and letting the tears flow like prayers from my heart, I got back up and resolved to take action.

Loves, if you are a positive & sensitive person like me, I know that some days you feel weary and beat up by the tragic events of the world. You get physically and emotionally tired of the seemingly constant stream of bad news and people arguing about their different views. You may feel the need to retreat from it all (news, social media, other people) for a little while, and I want to let you know that is totally okay. In fact, it’s a good thing to give yourself space to emotionally recover so that you can get back to being a bright, clear light of peace & healing. You can give yourself permission to take a time out!

Try this: For a few hours, turn off the news channels, log off of Facebook, Twitter, Reddit or any other social bullhorn. If you can stay offline for 24 hours or longer, that’s even better. Give yourself enough time and space as you need.

Connect your bare feet and hands with nature, talk to the trees, listen to the water. Count the stars. Meditate, stretch, dance. Pray, paint, sing. Play with puppies and kittens. Eat healthy and bathe luxuriously. Dream up your most perfect day…

And then, once you are feeling lighter and clearer again, do take action to create a positive ripple.

Try one or more of these positive actions: Hug and kiss your loved ones. Say a silent prayer or kind thought for each person you see. Let someone go in front of you at the grocery store. Secretly pay for the person behind you in the drive-thru. Send a small monthly donation to a humanitarian organization. Donate blood. Pick up trash in your neighborhood or along your favorite stretch of beach. Give all of the clothes that no longer fit your body to your local thrift store or homeless shelter. Tip your server more than 20%. Leave a kind note for an elderly neighbor. Send a text message to your friends with a smiley face emoji.

What else can you do that is a positive action? Use your voice!

Contact your representatives in Congress and thank them for their work, and let them know you want them to act on your behalf to support legislation that is important to you. Speak clearly and with kindness (that is a real person you are talking to). Call and use your voice. 202.225.3121

💖🦋