Tag: learning

Release, Reflect, and Restore.

For the past week, I took part in a small social experiment on Instagram and Facebook called #amplifymelanatedvoices and it has been powerfully eye-opening. The premise was to center, promote, and amplify the messages of Black activists and artists while simultaneously putting our own messages on pause and truly listening to what they have to say. Without the need to draw attention back to ourselves, our opinions, our perspectives, our excuses, our discomfort. Just… listen. And then, lift up.

Because the truth is that Black people in America have been telling us the same message, over and over, in every way imaginable for hundreds of years and by and large, it seems pretty evident that we haven’t really been listening.

As a long-time, dyed-in-the-wool social justice warrior, I thought that I had been listening, but I am seeing more and more clearly just how much I was only half-listening, and sometimes actively avoiding listening- deeply, reverently, listening– to the larger conversation around racial inequity and white supremacist culture. How often I was missing the message.

I’m in no way an expert in any of this. This is deeply personal work, and I know that I need the help, guidance, and leadership of the people who have been doing this a lot longer than me. Maybe you are someone who has been working at being an anti-racist for a while now, and maybe you are someone who is just starting to see, understand, and unpack what all of this means. Wherever you are personally in your own journey, know that there are people who are skilled and ready and willing to support your growth. I’ve included some links to resources below:



The Adaway Group

4 Ways White People Can Process Their Emotions Without Hijacking the Conversation on Racial Justice

What to do next:

RELEASE– Let it allllll out! Spend some quality time with your therapist, your besties, your support squad, your spiritual teachers, and talk about what you’re feeling/experiencing. Name all the feelings and fears that come up to the surface. Release your messy inside stuff. Cry hard and ugly. Shout loudly. Do this with the people who you can trust to be supportive, who can hold space for you without judgement or shaming- NOT with hateful internet trolls (I’ve learned this one the hard way). Release expectations from yourself to do things perfectly, to get it “right” the first time, to have all the answers. Release the need to be right. Release the need for other people to do their work. What else can you release? What else do you need to let go of?

REFLECT– After you’ve had a minute to let your mess out, take the time to process it. Reflect on what it means to you/for you, or if there is any deeper meaning to be found. Note: there isn’t always a gold nugget hiding in a turd; sometimes a turd is just a turd. Reflect on what you want to have happen next, and what some of the steps are that you will need to take to move forward.

RESTORE- Take. Good. Care. Of. Yourself.  Restore your whole self with lots of rest, body care, nutrition, art, laughter, music, and so much Love. Restore the relationships that are most important and nourishing to you (this is not the time to feed the drain). Pray and meditate. Build up your community.

I am a teacher and a healer, and I am also here to listen and learn. I look forward to sharing more tips, wisdom, and love with you in the weeks to come. Stay tuned, and stay strong. I am in this with you!

Work with me! Schedule a free consultation call: Reach out today and get on my calendar. >>Click here to schedule a free consultation call with me<< and let’s do some Transformational Positivity work together. I offer insightful Spiritual Clarity Readings using the tarot, powerful and subtle Energy Healing, deeply reflective Soul-Mirroring Sessions for you, and Animal Energy Sessions for your pet.

#FridayFeels For the Love of the Learning

Like the very best teachers, Life is always offering us valuable lessons, whether or not we are consciously and intentionally asking for them. We simply agree to show up, and there they are: life lessons designed to grow us, mold us, shape us, challenge us, better us, perfect us, and (yes, absolutely!) bless us.

Oh, sure- oftentimes these Life Lessons may at first look/feel annoying or uncomfortable or inconvenient or downright unpleasant, but don’t let that stop you from really examining what is being offered to you, what’s on the other side of it. Is it patience? Is it forgiveness? Is it confidence? Is it trust, or compassion, or love? Too many times, we keep ourselves stuck because we are unwilling to do the work that comes with learning the lesson.

Today, I invite you to set aside some introspective time to Ask, Seek, and Learn.  Ask:What do I need to know about this situation?  Seek:Get quiet and tune in to your deep, inner wisdom. You might prefer to do this through meditation, prayer, journaling, or doing a sacred card reading. Don’t be afraid to ask for a sign!  Learn: Now that you’ve set yourself up into an open & receiving mode, pay attention to the answers as they develop. Look for the signs that you asked for.  What is the Lesson you are learning?

If you are interested in working with me as your Personal Empowerment Coach, go ahead and click here to schedule a quick chat. These free 30 minute sessions are the perfect way to see if we are a good fit for each other before committing to a coaching session or series of sessions.

Emotional Eating & Your Inner Superhero

Friends, emotional eating (from feeling fearful, sad, angry, or whatever overwhelming thing we are feeling) is something that can be managed and overcome when we learn how to access the tools we need.

It definitely takes practice and lots of support to “retrain our brain” but it is TOTALLY doable!  I’ve been actively at work on my own emotional issues and how I can respond to stress differently than I did for so many years. It’s a powerful process, not always easy- but the healing that has taken place and the strategies I’ve gained are worth the effort.

I’ve learned that one of the strongest tools that we have is our own voice. The words that we say to ourselves have incredible power! That’s why I believe so firmly in the power of positive self-talk and affirmations.  Our self-talk, both internal and external, should be coming from a place of love, and strength, and joy.  That’s the starting point for truly learning to love ourselves well.

The problem that we face is that for too long, we have let ourselves be bossed around by an entirely different kind of voice.  Too often the voice that we have been responding to is one that is demanding, critical, harsh, mean, and pardon my French but, kind of an asshole.  And the thing is that when all you keep hearing is negative, you become so familiar with it that you will keep recreating patterns in your life that support that negativity, until you choose to make some changes.

Why should the negative voices have all the say in what we do, think, believe?  While we can certainly recognize that the negative and critical inner commentary going on within us does have a purpose [typically it is drawing attention to an area where we feel vulnerable] the truth is that we DO NOT have to let that be our only guiding voice. We CAN learn to choose a more positive way, a more gentle way, and ultimately a more loving, fulfilling way.

The next time you are stepping out of your comfort zone, you can bet that the negative self-talk will start to pipe up and get your attention. When it does, try saying this (out loud if you have to!): “Thank you for your input. I’m OK, and now I’m going to try things differently.”  In doing this, you get to remove the power from Captain Negative Bossypants and return it to where it belongs, with your Fabulous Inner Superhero.  YOU get to be in charge, not your emotions. You can then proceed to address the stressful situation in a calm, peaceful, thoughtful and positive way.

An absolute expert in the area of “retraining your brain” and dealing with your critical inner dialogue is Nicole Lewis-Keeber, MSW, LCSW.  She’s such a gifted coach in this area and she has some excellent resources for you as well.  I hope you will check out her website Nicole Lewis-Keeber.com and especially look into her “Retrain Your Brain: 7 Strategies to Fire Your Inner Critic” which she is currently offering as a free download!  Yes- FREE.  And just FYI, I am not an affiliate, but I am lucky enough to be her cousin.

Okay loves, on to a more loving and positive way!

You can get my affirmations eBooks, The Blessings Butterfly and The Blessings Butterfly Companion Guide from Amazon for your Kindle today.